‘Then you shouldn’t have found me a job.’
‘Don’t be stupid. It’s a choice we made, in order to have our own house some day. The only conclusion we should draw is that life teaches us a lesson. There’s no point in accepting life half-heartedly. The woman of the house has stepped across the threshold. She has changed, and so have the things around her. Her sphere of influence, her thoughts, her likes and dislikes, everything has changed. One can’t hold on to the image of a devoted wife who would eat only after her husband finished eating and who would massage his tired feet before he dozed off.’
‘So you’re not being sarcastic now?’
‘Sorry, Kalpana. If that’s what you feel, I will shut up. You have been with me for a few years now, but if you haven’t understood my thought process, it is my failure. It is better for the vanquished to accept defeat quietly and not make an issue of it. You met me after spending nineteen years at your parents’ place. You may not agree with me but I expect you to at least hear me out. But I, whose own mother couldn’t understand him, can’t expect another person to.’
‘Something is wrong, Kalpana, isn’t it?’
‘No. Why do you ask?’
‘Don’t try to hide it from me.’
‘But there’s nothing to hide.’
‘It’s fine. Don’t tell me. I know now.’
‘You won’t understand.’
‘I have understood. All the men in the office praised me. All the people who came over for the party were full of praise for the way the house had been kept. But no one mentioned you once. That upset you. Right?’
‘…’
‘Arre, you’re silent. So that means I guessed right. I thought you’d be proud of me, but somewhere deep down you didn’t like it. We’ve made a lot of compromises to be able to get our own house. But I wonder whether owning the house is of any use if your ego won’t allow us to enjoy it. Kalpana! Think about it. Don’t think of your job as a way to earn money alone. It’s an opportunity to understand people, society, human behaviour, the world, the good and bad of everything. Look at the beauty of the world around us. Notice how immense it is. If you can’t do that, there’s no difference between you and someone who stays within the four walls of home.’
‘I plan to quit my job.’
‘Why?’
‘I’ll look for another one.’
‘But why?’
‘I told you the reason yesterday. My boss is trying to get me to sit in his cabin.’
‘What’s wrong with that?’
‘Don’t you find it odd?’
‘How do you know the boss has something else in mind?’
‘You won’t understand. Women are perceptive in such matters.’
‘What do you fear?’
‘He’ll ogle at me the whole day.’
‘You sit in a large hall right now. How many people do you think ogle at you the whole day there? And what can you do about it?’
‘I don’t think that logic is right.’
‘What else can you do? Look at the mirror there. We got a full-length mirror last month so that you could see yourself from top to toe. Otherwise a small hand-mirror was enough for you to put on sindoor and look at your face. But you wanted to ensure that you looked attractive in all ways – hence the full-length mirror.’
‘But…’
‘Let me complete.’
‘I don’t want to listen any further.’
‘You have to. You need to be able to face the facts. Listen to me carefully. If a woman takes care to dress well and look attractive, is it not natural for others to look at her?’
‘You think this is a joke?’
‘No. Look at the situation. Earlier one would get to see women at the well, filling water, or at the local village temple. Now a woman is seen everywhere. She has learnt to be well turned-out. Quite obviously, she’ll be ogled at. How does one stop people from doing that? A thing of beauty is a joy forever. Isn’t it quite natural for anyone to look at a good-looking woman? Whenever a beautiful woman walks into our shop, everyone, including myself, wants to serve her. Got it?’
‘I’d warned you, Shekhar.’
‘About what?
‘I’d been telling you repeatedly that we needed to take precautions.’
‘So what shall we do now?’
‘Let’s go to a doctor.’
‘And…’
‘What do you mean by that? We need to find a solution.’
‘No, madam!’
‘What do you mean, “No, madam”? I can’t afford to have a child right now. You may be fine with it. But I’m not.’
‘Your problem is mine, isn’t it? It’s going to affect your life as well as mine. I can’t agree with your logic.’
‘Okay, so what shall we do now?’
‘We will decide that together.’
‘That’s not possible. We don’t think alike when it comes to certain things.’
‘Do you agree with everything your boss says?’
‘I have no choice there. And it doesn’t concern me beyond a point. It is a job, after all. It is a question of my needs being fulfilled.’
‘Then having a child is a need too.’
‘Not mine.’
‘Not mine alone either. But there is something which is beyond you and me.’
‘So now your philosophy comes into play.’
‘Don’t make faces when you say “philosophy”. Whether I say anything philosophical or not, the truth doesn’t go away. The day philosophy vanishes, this world will end. And when the world ends, there’ll be no debate about whether we want a child or not. A child is nature’s need and we have to honour it. Maybe that is the reason all our precautions failed.’
‘I don’t understand all this. The only thing I know is the hundred and twenty-five rupees we have to save each month.’
‘So you mean to say we will stay childless for another twenty years? And what are we going to do after the
