Delia shook her head, and as they entered the train and sat down in an empty carriage she said softly, ‘I’ve been thinking about that. In fact I’ve been thinking a lot over this past week since I decided to grasp the nettle, as you described it, and I came to the odd conclusion that your brother Jack, although ruining the life that I had, gave me another, and one that is preferable to the former.’ She hesitated. ‘And if necessary I’ll bring my Jack – Robin – back with me and give him the life he deserves. I will give up the theatre and I’ll work at anything, just as I did when I was expecting him. I’ll be a shop girl, a mill woman; I’ll even scrub the stage where once I was a star.’
As Jenny had predicted, her father was at Hedon station to meet them off the train. He kissed Jenny’s cheek and took Delia’s outstretched hand and clasped it in his, then leaning forward he kissed her cheek too.
‘Now then, Dorothy,’ he said softly. ‘It’s been a long time.’
‘It has, Mr Robinson,’ she said, moved by his friendliness and affection. ‘You do remember me, then?’
‘Aye, I do.’ He shepherded them towards the trap. ‘You were allus a quiet little lass from what I recall. Not a chatterbox like our Jenny.’
‘I was,’ she admitted, ‘and I suppose I still am, to some degree.’
‘And her name is Delia now, Da,’ Jenny told him.
‘Oh? What’s wrong wi’ Dorothy then?’ He gave her a friendly grin. ‘Too plain for them London folk, eh?’
‘I changed my life, Mr Robinson, so I changed my name as well.’
As they drove, Delia realized that she had almost forgotten about the wide skies of Holderness; it had been dark when she and Jack arrived all those weeks ago, and the following day she had been too concerned about their situation to notice; but now, on seeing the pattern of clouds scudding across the blue-grey sky as they began their journey towards Paull, she was reminded of the joy a sunrise or a sunset could give her when she was a young girl. She would stop briefly and wonder at it; a pale golden dawn over the Humber or a deep suffusing purple sunset over the flatlands of Holderness. The skies were often like vivid paintings moving at speed, changing colours as the light rose or faded depending on the time of day, or the season. Each silver-rimmed drifting cloud brought a small miracle of beauty, miraculously creating castles and mountains for those who cared to find them.
‘Look at the sky,’ she murmured as they continued along the road towards Thorngumbald. ‘How wide it is without any buildings to block the view.’
‘Aye,’ Aaron agreed. ‘Holderness skies allus give me a sense of peace, except when they’re dramatic and full of impending weather. Your lad came fishing wi’ me, by the way,’ he added. ‘He’s a natural.’
‘Really?’ Delia was astonished. ‘He’s never been out in a boat.’
‘He has now,’ Aaron told her. ‘He loved it. Says he’s going to be a fisherman.’
That must mean that he wants to stay, Delia thought. Am I ready for that? Do I really want him to? When will I see him? I can’t give him up completely! She breathed heavily. It seemed that whichever way she turned brought an added quandary.
They pulled into the yard outside the house and Peggy opened the back door to them as they stepped down from the trap.
‘Hello, Ma, here I am again.’ Jenny gave her mother a kiss and Delia felt a pang of envy, recalling the greeting she had received from her own mother when she had called back in November and been turned away at the door. ‘And here is Delia,’ Jenny said more soberly. ‘Dorothy as was.’
Delia went towards Peggy. ‘Hello, Mrs Robinson,’ she said quietly, feeling again like the shy girl she had been.
Peggy put out her arms to embrace her, putting her warm cheek against Delia’s cold one and saying, ‘Come in, come in, do. It’s very good to see you again, Delia. It’s been far too long.’
The kitchen, with its warm range and a table laid ready with places set for the midday meal, looked exactly as always, and the same delicious aroma of roast meat wafted from the oven.
‘Nothing’s changed,’ she said, looking round. ‘It’s exactly as I remember it; so cosy and warm – and welcoming.’
She felt her eyes filling with tears and there was a tightness in her chest. It was no wonder that her son wanted to stay; she could wish the same for herself if it had been possible.
‘Let me take your coat, m’dear, and come and sit down by ’fire. The kettle is on ’boil. I expect you’ll be ready for a cup o’ tea?’
‘Yes, please,’ she said, trying to hold her emotions together but unable to check the tears that trickled down her cheeks as other memories came to the fore. ‘You’re very kind. Extremely kind.’
‘I’ll make the tea, Ma,’ Jenny said. ‘You sit down and chat to Delia. Where are the children?’ she added brightly, and Delia sensed that she was trying to make their situation as normal as possible.
‘Molly and Robin have gone across to see ’other bairns at Foggit’s,’ Peggy said. ‘I suggested they should, but said to be sure to come back before twelve o’clock as we were having something special for dinner.’ She laughed. ‘Robin asked if we were having Yorkshire pudding and I said he’d have to wait and see.’
At the mention of Robin’s name, Delia burst into tears, unable to contain them any longer. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she wept. ‘I’m so very sorry.’
Peggy patted her shoulder and
