“Until I didn’t. Somewhere along the line, my best friend’s annoying baby sister became irresistible. I knew it would look better if you initiated whatever it was between us. If I was the prey, kissed by the girl and not vice versa. But you never budged, no matter how much dry-humping we did on your carpet or how much time we spent together. I went crazy going back home every day with blue balls and a hard-on from hell. I wrote you letters that I never sent. I fought with Val just for the sake of fighting with him, because I secretly resented him. It was pretty pathetic.”
“But you always had someone else.” I sucked in a breath.
“Having no one would have looked bad. Val already knew how I felt about you, and I didn’t want the invitations to your house to dry up. Besides, I was in love, not a saint.” He cocked an eyebrow. “I moved on by getting back out there. Trying to find the right girl. Guess what? She doesn’t exist.”
I whipped my head in his direction, my mouth slacking. Had he just said the L word?
Adam shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “I thought it was clear.”
“Not clear enough for me, apparently. How come you’re single now?”
It made no sense that he would be. He was the entire package. And, judging by the way he’d pressed against me when we were teenagers, he had a package to go along with the package.
Adam turned away from the pool, still resting on the sunbed next to me, and smiled sadly.
“It’s not that I don’t date. I do. But what it keeps boiling down to is this—I never know if they like Adam Mackay, the Broadway phenomenon slash movie star, or Adam Mackay, the guy who can burp the alphabet backwards, beat anyone at Guitar Hero, and is just a weirdo movie buff. With you, I didn’t have to wonder.”
“For the record”—I reached across the table separating us, planting my hand on his—“not even one small part of me fell in love with you because you can burp the alphabet backwards.”
He threw his head up and laughed, then got up, stopping just above me to plant a kiss on the crown of my head. “The L word?”
“I thought it was pretty obvious,” I said in the same exact way he’d replied to me when my eyes asked him about it.
“Huh.” He straightened his back, smirking down at me. “What are you gonna do about it, little Nik?”
I grabbed his wrist before he turned away and left the balcony, shooting up to my feet. The floor beneath me was scorching hot, but somehow, I hardly even felt it. I rose to my toes, pressing my lips against the side of his mouth.
“I think I’ll start by doing this,” I murmured, skimming the edge of his lips with my mouth. A current of something delicious ran through my spine, exploding at the top of my neck, sending chills along my skull.
“Yeah?” He grinned, but didn’t make a move to kiss me back. I got it. I’d spent the night thinking about all of our small moments. There had always been a breath in which we’d almost kissed, but we never did. Adam had been starved for my kisses for years. The least I could do was do him the honor of offering him our first one.
“I think I will also do this,” I continued, flicking my tongue between his lips. They fell open on demand, as I lazily explored the seam of his mouth, committing to memory his taste, his feel, his heat.
Adam grabbed my neck, cupping it in his big palm, and guided my mouth to his greedily and with a healthy amount of force.
My heart thudded in my chest, my body tingling with excitement and desire. This. It felt like we were transported back in time. Young. In love. In our feels. Like no time had passed at all.
The last thing he said to me before he devoured me with his tongue was, “I think it is payback time for all those lost kisses. Spoiler alert, Nik: you’ll be paying with interest.”
We kissed for an hour. Maybe more. Just kissing, on the edge of the pool, standing on the scorching hot floor, not feeling anything other than each other. We were wrapped around each other, consumed and starving for each other. I thought we would stand there forever—at least until evening—when his phone started ringing. He pulled away, grunting in annoyance, and frowned down at his phone.
“My agent,” he tsked. “I need to go in for some reshoots. Don’t go anywhere.” He kissed me again. “This is not over.”
It wasn’t.
I knew it wasn’t.
I smiled through swollen lips. So wide and big I couldn’t feel my face.
I SPENT THE next day moving my things out of Chris’ apartment into storage.
Chris decided to keep our Sherman Oak place. I rented a U-Haul, packed my little belongings, and spent the day carrying heavy boxes to and fro. Chris wanted to “clear the air” while I was there, but I told him I’d rather pack my stuff in peace. Adam didn’t know my whereabouts. I figured it wasn’t his mess to sort out. Besides, I was born into the #GirlPower era. There was nothing I couldn’t do, including moving half an apartment on my own.
The entire day, Val sent me encouraging text messages, and by ‘encouraging’, I mean passive-aggressive to the extreme.
Val: Tell Chris if he gives you trouble, I will punch his face in.
Val: How are things at Adam’s? Hope he is treating you well.
Val: While you’re at it warning Chris, tell Adam I will punch his face, too, if he touches you.
Val: Never mind, I’ll tell him myself.
Val: Think his face is insured? Like J-Lo’s ass and Elle Macpherson’s legs? He is kind of a big deal.
I shook my head, laughing. I
