I screened Chris’ calls the entire duration of that time. I just didn’t feel like giving him the forgiveness he wanted so much and unchaining him from the guilt. This wasn’t an error. A stumble in the dark. He had been cheating on me for four years with a man who was his lover before we’d even met. I was supposed to be the cure, the antidote, and I didn’t do the trick. I felt used, but surprisingly, realized I’d been trying to use Chris to fill a void, too. Maybe that was why I’d avoided him thus far. Because coming to terms with what we did to each other was so embarrassing.
Val, too, called me daily. I always picked up and humored him. He needed a slogan for the carpet shop, and I helped him with that, coming up with a dozen names and catchphrases.
“I hope you are not bumping uglies with Adam,” Val had half-joked, half-warned the last time we spoke.
“Adam is in Mexico.” I’d dodged the question lamely. It didn’t sit right with me, to lie to my brother. And yet, why did he even care?
“Nika, don’t beat around the bush.”
“Val, don’t say ‘beat’ and ‘bush’ when talking about sex and expect me not to make a juvenile joke.”
“You’re impossible. Answer me.”
“Why do you care so much?” I sighed, rubbing at my temple.
“Because he’s an asshole to women, and you are a woman. You also happen to be my sister. See what my problem is?”
“No,” I snapped. “Because he’s not an asshole to me. Never was.”
“That’s because he hasn’t slept with you yet.”
Oops.
My silence was all the admission he needed.
Val let out a feral, hissing sound. “Great. Really, Nika?”
“Val.” I laughed, trying to make light of it. “Chris cheated on me. In our bed. With his gay lover, by the way. You cannot protect my heart. You couldn’t when I was a kid, and you sure as hell can’t all the way from Massachusetts.”
“So, you are together.”
There was no point lying to him. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “I guess we are.”
“Right. Even though I specifically asked you not to.”
“Why did you put us under the same roof if you cared so much about us not being together?” I cut him off. “Seems a bit counter-productive, even cruel. You knew Adam used to have a thing for me. He told me he asked you about dating me once. And you couldn’t have been so blind as to how much I wanted him when we were kids.”
“I wanted to know where both your loyalty lay,” Val said bitterly. “Now I do.”
After Val hung up on me, guilt found its way to me. It gnawed in my gut, nibbling its way all over my mood. When Adam called for our daily chat, which always stretched into hours, he didn’t mention anything about my brother, and I figured, since he was coming home the next day, it was better to have this conversation in person.
The next day came in a storm. Adam threw the door open at six in the morning, charging straight to his bedroom, where I was half-asleep, all cuddled up with Betsy. I’d taken up residence in his room since that day in my shower.
“Honey, I’m home,” he announced, diving straight into bed. I clung onto him, pressing a closemouthed kiss to his lips. Love was blind, but presumably, it could still smell.
“Missed your face.”
“Missed every part of you, especially this one,” he countered, squeezing my butt and pressing his hard body against mine.
“I’ve a feeling I’m going to be very jealous of all the female attention you’re getting at this job of yours.”
He grinned playfully. “It’s just a job. A tiring one at that.”
I opened my mouth to say something more when there was a knock on the door. We both frowned at each other.
“Are you expecting anyone?”
Adam rolled his eyes. “Like I’d want to spend time with non-Nika humans after working twenty-hour days.”
He unglued himself from me, strolling to the living room to get the door. I followed him. Adam swung the door open, and my heart missed a beat.
“Is Nika here?”
Chris was standing on the other side of the door, his sandy hair and Southern boy charm dimmed by what looked like a sleepless few nights. His eyes bloodshot and his skin clinging to bones. I couldn’t imagine how exhausted he felt.
“Depends on who is asking.” Adam crossed his arms over his chest.
“Her boyfriend.” Chris bared his teeth, mimicking the same gesture. Boy, he wasn’t only exhausted, he was also delusional.
“Why, impossible.” Adam smiled charmingly. “Because you’re talking to her boyfriend.”
Sensing some major Brandy and Monica vibes, à la “The Boy is Mine”, coming our way, I stepped up next to Adam.
“Chris. How did you find me?”
“Val gave me the address.” Chris flashed me an apologetic smile, immediately letting his guard down. “Sorry, I had a feeling you were going to ghost me for eternity. I pretty much squeezed it out of him.”
“I’ll be squeezing his neck next time I see him…” Adam muttered.
Chris ignored him, turning to me fully. “Baby, let’s talk about it.” I knew what he was referring to. What he really wanted to discuss. Why he’d come here. He needed to make sure I wouldn’t tell people. And I wouldn’t, but the fact he’d come here to check on that instead of me hurt. It was like I was the one who’d broken the trust between us, not the other way around.
“Nothing to talk about. She’s mine now. Have a nice life. Or, don’t. None of my business.” Adam started shutting the door in Chris’ face, but Chris held it open at the last minute with his hand.
“Nika, please.”
Adam swung the door open. “You had your chance and you blew it. Now get out before more things blow up.”
“You guys, please.”
“Let’s let Nika decide.” Chris gestured
