‘It’s beautiful,’ Luke said.
‘It’s even lovelier in the autumn, when the blackberries and rosehips are out.’
‘I’d love to see it then.’
‘You should.’
‘Yeah? You inviting me to stay that long?’
‘Of course. We’re friends now, aren’t we?’
‘Absolutely.’
They walked on, climbing over a rickety stile after One Ear had taken it in an easy bound. The footpath then took them up a small hill before descending into the sand dunes and reaching the beach.
The salty air hit them in a refreshing blast and Orla inhaled deeply as One Ear took off at a gallop. Luke laughed and threw his head back to greet the sky. There was something so wonderfully freeing about being there and Orla couldn’t help wishing she’d dragged Luke here days ago. But perhaps he would have resisted. Perhaps he wouldn’t have been ready. But he was ready now and she took her chance.
‘Luke?’
‘Yeah?’
‘Can I talk to you about something?’
‘Sure.’
They made their way across the pebbly beach to where it turned into deep golden sand, damp and firm under their feet.
‘I was wondering what Helen looked like.’
He didn’t say anything for a moment, but then reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out his phone, turning it around to show Orla a moment later.
Shielding the screen with her hand, Orla looked down at the sweet face of the friend she’d lost. She had warm, chestnut hair which curled down to her shoulders and a happy rosy face, and her eyes shone with love for the man taking the photo.
‘She’s lovely,’ she told Luke. ‘I knew she would be. You can just tell with some people, can’t you? And I don’t just mean beautiful to look at – although she is, of course – but beautiful on the inside.’
‘Yes, she was.’
‘Her photos showed that. Each one seemed to hold a smile. Does that make sense?’
‘Oh, yes.’ He put his phone away and turned his head to look out to sea. Orla gave him a moment. ‘I’m sorry. I find it hard to talk about all this.’
‘I know you do.’
‘It was her birthday,’ he said at last.
‘When?’
‘On the twentieth.’
‘Oh, Luke!’
‘I knew it was coming and yet it hit me so hard.’
‘Well, of course it did. You can’t shut these things out. You wouldn’t be human if you did.’
He wiped the back of his hand across his eyes and sniffed.
‘Oh, God! I seem to do nothing but break down on public beaches!’
‘There’s nobody around and, even if there was, it wouldn’t matter.’
Luke hid his face in his hands. ‘I’m sorry.’
Orla’s heart felt like it was bleeding as she saw his helplessness. ‘It’s okay,’ she told him.
‘I feel so – so ridiculous, crying like this!’
‘Luke – it’s okay that you’re not okay. You do know that, don’t you? You shouldn’t try to hide from this, and I think maybe that’s what you’ve been trying to do, isn’t it? You’re living with the expert on hiding, don’t forget.’
Luke sniffed and Orla handed him a clean tissue from her pocket.
‘Oh, God!’ he cried. ‘When will this stop?’
‘I don’t know. I think you might have a way to go yet, though.’
He glanced at her and she gave him a little smile.
‘I’m sorry. You didn’t want to hear that, did you?’
‘No, not really. But thanks for being honest.’
‘My pleasure. Well, it’s not really. I hate seeing you like this.’
‘Sorry!’
‘Stop apologising,’ she told him. ‘Anyway, I mean, I think it’s healthy to cry, but I wish I could spare you this pain.’
They walked on for a bit.
‘I guess it’s early days, isn’t it?’ he said.
‘Yes. You’re being too hard on yourself. You’ve got to give yourself time and space to get through this.’
‘I want it all to be over.’ He sighed. ‘And then I feel guilty feeling like that because it’s like I’m saying I don’t want to think about Helen any more and that I want to get on with living.’
‘But that’s only natural.’
‘Well, nature is cruel, isn’t it?’
‘Luke – you’re alive. You’re young. It’s only normal that you want to get on.’
‘It’s not fair, though. When I think of Helen and all the promise life held for her, I feel sick – actually sick. Why did this happen? Why the hell did this happen?’
Orla reached out and touched his shoulder, wishing she had an answer for him, but there wasn’t one. Life could be cruel, and that was it.
‘I miss her,’ she said quietly as they walked on.
‘You do?’
‘I really do. It might seem strange to say that because I know I never met her, but I really feel the loss of her presence.’ Orla paused. ‘I’m not upsetting you, saying that, am I?’
Luke shook his head. ‘No.’
She could hear the emotion in his voice.
‘She was a special person and I miss her in my life, even if that was only connecting through Galleria photos and exchanging the odd message.’
‘Isn’t that how so many friendships are made these days?’ Luke said.
‘Yes. I suppose they are.’
They walked on for a bit, listening to the roar of the waves as they neared the shore.
‘Did she ever tell you about her twenty-eighth birthday party?’ Luke suddenly asked.
‘No.’
‘Well, it fell on a Saturday and she was behaving all moody in the morning because I was making out that I’d forgotten.’
‘Oh, Luke! That’s so mean!’
‘I know. It was a bit, but I had something planned. I told her to come with me into town because I had to pick up some tools and wood and needed her help carrying it all. Well, she wasn’t pleased, but she came along.’
‘You seriously made her haul wood around on her birthday?’
Luke grinned, obviously enjoying telling the story. ‘Ah, but wait! After we picked everything up, I told her I had to deliver some of it to this pub ahead of starting a job. I was worried that she’d