I hadn’t meant to let that slip. The words had fallen out of my mouth.
She let the bags in her hand fall back in the trunk and stared at me with glassy eyes and a white face as she asked, “You are?”
“I fucking love you,” I said, and grabbed her to hold her. No denying the truth now.
She curled into me and pressed her lips up to me as she whispered, “I love you too, and it scares me.”
Everything else had to work out then. We were together. Money wasn’t everything, right?
Chapter 13
Georgie
The barbeque in the backyard now had that familiar singe in the air I’d not heard in years.
Michael left his sexy cowboy hat in the garage on his keyring, which only made me giggle to myself.
There was something fun about steaks on a grill, buttered corn roasting, and mashed potatoes covered in aluminum all mixed together that made my mouth water.
But it wasn’t ready yet. I finished handing out the drinks to everyone, including myself, when my phone rang. I put my glass down and walked back in the house as I answered my sister in London. “Stephanie, hi.”
“You’ve not called me or anyone except Olivia and the others.”
I closed the door as I said, “Technically, Olivia called me, and I knew someone would have filled you in.”
“I watched your wedding video,” Stephanie said.
I froze and wondered how in the world to love when dying for it was in my genes. Maybe that was foolish, but I asked, “Yeah?”
Stephanie said, “You were beautiful.”
If anyone had the answer, it was Stephanie. I checked I was alone and stared at everyone outside near the grill as I said, “Thanks. It was a last-minute decision.”
She laughed. “I’m a total believer in happily-ever-afters and love. You, Jeremy, and your Michael are now on my guest list. So was my decision to marry Charles and move to London. I couldn’t have explained that to you.”
When I was driving Stephanie to the airport for her vacation, I hadn’t thought that was the last time I’d see my sister. I ignored how my heart grew faster and turned away from the window so I could be totally alone as I asked, “Can I ask a quick question before I say I have to go?”
Stephanie snapped her fingers. “Go for it.”
I tugged my ear and then decided it was time to ask, “How did you trust yourself to love your fiancée after Mom…”
“After Mom gave up like she did and stopped even communicating?” Stephanie supplied the question.
My cheeks heated. All six of us and our cousins had held hands and buried her with our dad, and sworn that day, we’d be there for each other and to never be like her. Then my entire family had been there for me when I'd needed help for the weeks after Jeremy was born. I'd had cousins flying in from all over the country to pitch in, like we were children again. I couldn’t have done it without them, but I nodded and said, “Yeah.”
I hugged my waist while Stephanie said, “I had to figure out my life mattered too and I wasn’t going to turn into her because love makes me and Charles better, not worse.”
Without children, maybe trust was easier. I’d been in love with Michael since we met really, but only now, I had to face facts. Love didn’t always come with an exit clause, and I glanced at my feet as I said, “Guess you don’t have a son to worry about.”
Stephanie quietly said, “That’s more of a reason to know you won’t just give up if something bad happens.”
Yet that hadn’t been enough for Mom when I'd told her I was pregnant and needed her help. Why would faith work with Michael? He had the world waiting for him to make a decision and I wasn’t ready to be on display. I closed my eyes to get my trembling skin under control as I said, “I don’t know.”
“My advice.” Stephanie took a second and then said, “If you love him, then trust your new husband and trust yourself. You’ve needed to let loose for a long time.”
Goosebumps grew on my arm. I needed to protect myself and protect Jeremy to ensure I’d be there forever for him. This wasn’t about relaxing. It was impossible near him. I loved Michael, but that had to be second. I couldn’t turn weak now. Stephanie didn’t have this worry. She’d never understand as she chased after whatever whim she had. “I have to go.”
We said goodbye, and I glanced out the window. Jeremy was playing catch with Michael who was showing him posture.
I could watch this all day. Jeremy needed Michael. A good dad was important to a family and so was a strong mother.
I needed to protect my heart from ever clinging so much to Michael that I lost my will to live.
It shouldn’t be too hard.
I turned my phone off so no one else could call me and walked outside with a strut to my step.
Michael and Jeremy stopped. Sarah helped Tom put the food on plates and Michael rushed over and kissed my forehead. “Where were you?”
“My sister called from London.”
“How is she?”
“It’s late in London, but she’s good.”
Michael walked us over and his mother must have given him a look as he said, “Georgie has five sisters, Mom.”
I took a seat next to her and poured the wine for us as Michael passed his father a beer. Jeremy took a water on his own and we all sat as Sarah said, “That’s great. I always wanted a daughter. It must have been great growing up with all those people around you.”
“My parents pretty much adopted all our cousins at some point in their lives, so our house was always full.”
“A house full of love. That sounds lovely.”
Tom led us in a short prayer. It was good to have sisters and male cousins with cars when my mom wasn’t available to
