As we finished, we started eating, though I'd just cut my meat as I said, “When my parents died, I became the makeshift mom of the group as I’m the oldest woman. Everyone in the family usually calls me. Plus, with raising Jeremy, I always had to make good decisions that help everyone lead their best life.”
I took a bite and the steak was perfect.
No restaurant quite got the mix of fire and meat right, but Tom had a gift. I gave a thumbs-up. Sarah asked me, “What about you? What is it you want now that you have Michael?”
I finished my bite and it took a minute. I then raised my eyebrow and asked, “What do I want?”
Sarah held her napkin in her hand and had her elbows on the table as she smiled at me and said, “Yes, sweetie. You have the ability to do anything in the world you desire.”
At least we weren’t prim and proper like the private schools had taught me. I glanced at my plate and said, “I just want my son to have the best opportunities he can have.”
Tom then said, “Jeremy was telling us he plays little league.”
Pushing Jeremy if he didn’t want it would just make us all miserable. “The pressure of being Michael Irons' son, now that it’s known, has to be hard to live up to.”
Tom shrugged and said, “Not impossible if that’s what he wants.”
“True,” Michael said but then patted my knee. “That’s Jeremy’s choice.”
Agreement was good. This was easier than deciding where we lived for a decade.
Sarah ensured we all had napkins and then settled. “Other than marrying my son, tell us more about yourself. What did you major in college, dear?”
I finished my next bite and remembered carefree college. Time had flown and the memories were almost like another life. “I was finance major, though I never used it much.”
Tom asked, “Why not?”
Right. For the second time in days, I’d actually answer with the truth. I normally avoided it, but the last thing I needed were Michael’s parents to think I needed Michael’s money, and that I was some gold-digger. I folded my hands. “I was working but then my parents died, and I had an inheritance and a newborn.”
His mother sipped her wine then said, “Giving up everything for a baby and not having help must have been hard.”
My mom’s death replayed in my mind. I had had such a round belly and waddled around making all the decisions about her burial, and every minute of the way on my feet I'd wished things had been different.
“I gave birth alone. It was hard. I wanted my mom with me, but she couldn’t be there.”
“Well you have us now,” Sarah said.
My shoulders relaxed. Michael gave me a smile and said, “And Mom, Georgie was a financial analyst. I’m hoping she can help me manage my portfolio.”
“That would be nice.” My lips curled at the idea other people might carry some of the load.
We all ate our steak as my mouth had watered for more until my belly filled up.
As we winded down with the food, Tom asked, “Can we ask you both a personal question?”
For the past moment, I’d forgotten all my fears. It had been a while since someone had listened to my issues and not the other way around. I nodded and asked, “What’s that?”
Tom placed his napkin on the table like he was done eating and asked, “Why didn't you find Michael sooner? Did you not watch baseball?”
Now that was fair. I wish I had gone to find him. Life would have been easier if I’d known him as those late nights alone had taken a toll on me. “I haven’t gone to a game in years. I only went to a game now, because Jeremy wanted to go, and my sister Indigo scored us good tickets. I thought it would be good bonding time. I had no idea until I stared at the jumbotron and saw his stubble and jawline again that my life would change that day.”
I sipped my wine and I thought we were done, but then Michael snapped his fingers and said, “Speaking of, the DNA test arrived.”
I swallowed to not embarrass myself and choke, but I turned toward him and said, “You didn’t say anything.”
He shrugged and said, “We knew instantly.” Then he told his parents, “There is no denying Jeremy is my boy, Georgie. It was for the lawyers.”
I stared into my glass and wished I could just disappear right now. I was so close to turning into my mother as I said, “I never tried to find Michael. When I left the Bahamas, my head was such a mess as my dad was dying, and I just wasn’t thinking straight. Six weeks after leaving him, I’d buried my dad, found out I was pregnant and then my mom took ill…”
Sarah tapped her husband’s shoulder and said, “Michael should have been better at finding you.”
“That year was the hardest of my life except for having my son.” I’d probably misjudged his mother who was nothing but kind. I should be better. Help was a good thing. Michael took my hand in his and said, “I… you’re right, Mom. I spent countless nights wishing thing were different rather than tracking down the woman I love. I won’t make that mistake ever again.”
Love. Right. He’d snuck into my heart, despite how I thought it was firmly insulated from ever opening. This was what we had, and Jeremy was a product of a good union; one where I refused to perish away and said, “You can’t change the past, Michael.”
Jeremy swallowed his last bite and curled his lips higher. “We’re a family now.”
The sun started to set but Michael laughed as he said, “True son. And I’m glad we’re together.”
Right. We were married. This wasn’t about dying but about living. Love wouldn’t destroy me. I refused to let it.
