“That’s it? You want a car?”
Jeremy stared at me like I was speaking a foreign language and then asked, “Was there something else you wanted, Mom?”
Yesterday, he’d been upset about his friends and leaving school. I didn’t want to rehash that. My heart was heavy, and I hugged my waist as the word "no" screamed in my mind. I then said, “I…I want to talk to a realtor about a home with bedrooms, and a small lawn, and a nice kitchen as I like to cook.”
The airport was full of people milling past without giving us a glance.
My entire body trembled. I glanced around and hoped no one noticed me. Then Michael came with his arms open to hug and kiss me as he said, “We can get you a palace and have the kitchen done before we move in, if you agree.”
How was he okay at a time like this? I was a walking disaster. My heart pounded as I massaged my forehead and said, “No, not yet. I need time.”
He squeezed my hand and asked, “Time to what? We can do this together.”
My eyebrows raised. This was crazy.
“Don’t push.”
He came to kiss me, but his phone rang. He held my hand and stared at Jeremy as he said, “Phil’s calling. Just give me ten seconds to say goodbye.”
Michael stepped back to talk.
I tried to breathe but my chest didn’t quite fill with air. Jeremy tugged on my sleeve. “Mom, what’s wrong?”
“Everything’s fine, Jeremy,” I told him but that wasn’t the truth.
My skin had goosebumps and adrenaline rushed through me. If I lived in New York, my stomach would be twisted and I’d be on edge like this every moment of every day, for ten years.
Jeremy said, “If you hate New York, tell Michael.”
Again, it wasn’t dad or father or papa. Jeremy’d said "Michael". That was good, right? If I said no, my son couldn’t be that mad at me. I was irrational but moving would be bad. I took a breath and took a small comfort they hadn’t developed a proper bond, and that probably made me a bad mom.
I should say something. Michael came back, phone in his pocket, and took my hands as he said, “Phil said no extension. I need to give an answer in seventy-two hours.”
My stomach muscles tightened, and I practically trembled, but I pretended I was fine and went to my tiptoes to kiss him goodbye as I said, “Call me after your game tonight.”
“You’ll be up?” He asked and held me.
“Yeah.” This wasn’t as easy as I thought. I shouldn’t be this crazy. I needed to find my voice, but I said fast, “I’ll have a chance to think.”
“That’s fair. I’ll miss you both,” he said, and then his lips met mine.
For this one moment, the rest of the world disappeared. I was the same girl who'd met him in the Bahamas and splashed water in the pool at him until he kissed me.
The memory roared back and made me forget where I was, until the kiss ended.
And the people on their phones, the families talking, the wheels that were screeching all roared in my ears.
I held my lips together and waved goodbye.
Then, Jeremy took my hand and we walked over to check-in together.
Michael watched us as we headed inside, and I held my head up.
I had to admit flying first class had less lines, less stress, and even security was easier on us.
I hardly noticed take off, flying, or landing.
My son was safe. We were comfortable and soon we were back in familiar gray skies. We headed out and, at the curb, was my brown haired, brown-eyed sister who didn’t care that her curls were too long to frame her face as she wore bright turquoise glasses and hugged me. We tossed our bags in her trunk and we hopped in her car.
A minute later, we drove onto the familiar needed-new-tar-on-the-road-but-it-was-never-in-the-city-budget bumpy highway. It tossed my backside on the drive and reminded me I was home.
She asked, “Georgie, Jeremy, what’s going on?”
I ignored how my entire body was tense and pivoted toward my sister and said, “Indigo, it’s good to see you.”
She took one glance at me and said, “So we’ll stop and get a bottle of wine while you talk to me.”
Jeremy called out from the back, “Mom’s upset that Michael needs to move to New York.”
“I have wine at home,” I said.
She took the backroad off the highway toward my house, and my skin crawled as she said, “I thought you were in love and happy with this baseball player.”
I lowered my voice so Jeremy didn’t hear me as I said, “I can’t be Mom.”
“You aren’t,” Indigo said like it wasn’t a big deal and drove into my garage as she said, “Unlike Mom, you show up for everything in Jeremy’s life. I’d say you’re more like Dad and his big heart.”
That would be nice, but I didn’t see myself taking in every troubled kid in the world. She turned off her car and helped us with our bags. “I don’t see that. He was in charge and more commanding than I’d ever be. Even if I could be more like him, I don’t know if that’s enough to protect me.”
“From what?”
“From disappearing because I’m married.”
Jeremy shook his head like he didn’t get it, but Indigo held the bags as I opened the door.
“Don’t sell yourself short,” Indigo said. “You’d have found a way to shine on your own because you’re special. Though, you marrying a baseball player is pretty awesome.”
“Why?”
“It gets me cool points in my office.”
Jeremy tossed his shoes and said, “I’m going to my room, Mom.”
He took off without waiting for an answer.
But right now, I wasn’t upset. Indigo walked me to my kitchen and poured us glasses of wine. She handed it to me, and I asked her, “Why is my marrying Michael awesome besides your cool points? You don’t care about what
