Her gaze lingered on my face. ‘I like to be fully present in every situation. Phones are one thing, face to face is quite another.’
Yep, we were definitely talking about something other than her business. Something that charged the blood in my veins triggered feral hunger inside me. My cock hardened. ‘I get that.’
‘Do you?’
My throat dried, words taking a little while to form in my brain before I replied. ‘That you like being in control. Relish being in charge? Yes, I do. Am I wrong?’ Fuck, I hoped I wasn’t. Being taken for a fool by Stephanie was one thing. Getting it wrong twice...
‘You really want to know the answer to that?’
I shifted as the ground beneath my feet lurched. We were straying into forbidden territory, slipping beneath the roped-off cordon and into space I’d designated off-limits since that last, soul-wrecking showdown with Stephanie. Where she’d admitted the depth of her duplicity. Admitted, finally, her interest in me had been mere facility, that I—and my celebrity—was a stepping stone to the bigger pool of clients she’d wished to cultivate. That she’d only pandered to my proclivities because she thought I’d grow out of it eventually.
I wanted to set my cup down, walk away from this subtexted conversation before it got any more dangerous. Before Graciela’s sizzling gaze compelled me to disregard every reason why this was a bad idea.
‘What if I said yes, Jensen? What if I told you that being in control is everything I live for? That I’m the Domme your senses are screaming at you that I am?’ she stated, her voice deep, firm. Totally controlled.
My stomach went into free fall, my heart hammering a wild, feral beat as we stared at one another.
End this now. Don’t risk another Stephanie episode when you know how it’ll end.
What if I was leaving myself open to a new, untested form of hell?
But even as the warning shrieked inside my head, I knew this wouldn’t be like that. For one thing, this would be temporary.
I was looking at hours, maybe a day with Graciela, rather than the months Stephanie had wormed her duplicitous way into my life.
Everything with Graciela Mortimer was already on a countdown clock controlled by the weather. It would end and we’d go our separate ways. So why not indulge in whatever open-ended proposition blazed in her eyes? Experience an epic adventure right here in my cabin?
And if it turned out not to be as epic... I mentally shrugged. I couldn’t be more disappointed than I’d been in the last few years.
But if it was...
If she was offering me another chance to fulfil the deep craving, a chance to be rid of this hard-on threatening to cut me in half, no fucking way in hell was I to deny it. I swallowed another mouthful of coffee to buy myself some time; unable to deny the clamouring in my blood, I answered. ‘Prove it.’ The words fell from my lips before I could stop them. ‘If you are who you say you are, prove it to me.’
She sucked in a sharp breath. ‘You want me to...’ She stopped.
And right before my eyes, her gaze sharpened, her features tightening with calculating purpose. Purpose that wouldn’t be denied.
‘For starters, you know I would never allow a sub to address me that way. Don’t you?’ Soft, menacing words that pounded the locked door to my soul ajar, demanding entry, demanding a glimpse of what lay beyond it.
I knew the moment she saw it. Her nostrils flared, her lips parting for just a second before she pulled the reins of the control tight.
‘Yes.’
‘And you are a sub,’ she breathed. ‘One who’s yearning to find his freedom in surrender in a way he hasn’t for...a while. Aren’t you, Jensen?’ It wasn’t really a question. It was a searing acknowledgement.
Something shifted inside me. Something wild and elemental.
A key finding a lock.
Turning. Turning. Turning.
I couldn’t halt my response.
‘Yes, min elskerinde.’
CHAPTER FIVE
FIRE BLAZED IN her eyes at my answer, the flames raging as she continued to stare me down. ‘How long?’
Flashes of shame and regret tore through me. ‘Not as long as I’ve wanted to.’
‘What does that mean? Explain yourself clearly to me.’
Shit, was I really doing this? Letting her open that door wider when I needed to be more circumspect? Graciela wouldn’t be the first woman to profess she understood what I needed when she didn’t have the first clue.
Case in point—Stephanie. First-class liar and con artist. She’d taken my trust and warped it without second thought to progress her career. Had been prepared to go even as far as marriage.
While I’d once upon a time made allowances because I was finding my own feet, I wasn’t prepared to do so any more. Submitting to a worthy Domme for a night, or for however long we both wanted, wasn’t something to frivolously toss around. I wanted a woman who knew what she was doing in the bedroom. Who understood my needs without flinching from fulfilling them. Part of that involved honesty. And openness.
I exhaled my apprehension. ‘I didn’t fully embrace my needs until a few years ago. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not ashamed of who I am.’
‘That’s good to hear,’ she murmured.
‘I just choose not to be a raging advertisement for the lifestyle. But I know what I want in the bedroom and I’d rather not have to settle for a diluted version of it.’
She nodded. ‘Again, good to hear.’
‘Because?’ I asked, my insides jumping, the need for confirmation running amok inside me.
She didn’t answer immediately; her gaze drifted to the snow falling hard outside the window. ‘Because I have a proposition for you, Jensen.’
‘Ja?’ I replied, slipping into Danish. My mother tongue was comforting, I’d found, in times of stress. Probably something to do with it irritating the bastard who I’d had the misfortune of calling my father. The bastard who’d made his wife and children’s lives
