Sure, this was stress of a different kind, but it didn’t make enduring it any easier as I waited for Graciela to respond.
Her gaze pinned mine, resolute. Commanding. My fingers tightened around my coffee mug, anticipation rushing through me.
‘As long as that storm rages just outside, you will be mine.’
‘Yes,’ I responded immediately. Without reservation.
It was temporary. A start and end date. What could be better?
‘You don’t want to know what being mine entails?’ she asked, a little amused.
‘I do. Very much,’ I said thickly, barely able to get my vocal cords to work.
‘Put that coffee down and come here, Jensen.’
I set the cup down without taking my eyes off her.
But I didn’t move from where I stood. I needed something from her first. ‘Before we start...whatever this is, I want you to promise me one thing.’
A flash of a grimace twitched her nose, but I suspected it was a flippant gesture to hide a deeper reaction. ‘People break promises all the time. What makes you think I’ll keep mine?’
‘I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and accept you at your word.’
She seemed momentarily startled. Then she shrugged. ‘Fine. What do you want?’
‘That whatever you’re feeling, be truthful with it.’ I’d had enough of lies and half-truths to last me a lifetime. Refusing to face up to reality was the reason my relationship with my mother was still strained, even now, years after the stain of my bastard father should’ve been erased from our lives, Stephanie’s conniving ways and betrayal the reason I’d ended up here in Alaska. With my past and my present riddled with deception and duplicity, I was one hundred per cent sure I wouldn’t take it well if Graciela Mortimer fucked with me that way.
Her head tilted in that way that said she was tunnelling furiously towards the truths and wounds that resided in my very core. And sure enough... ‘Is that what she did to you? She lied?’
‘Graciela...’
She didn’t even bat an eyelid at my warning tone. Man, she was fearless. Not that she needed to fear me, but one day she was going to poke a wounded bear and get herself in a whole world of hurt.
‘Gud hjælpe mig.’
‘What was that?’
I inhaled slowly. ‘Nothing.’
‘Are you sure? Only it sounded like you said, “God help me”.’
I stiffened. ‘You speak Danish?’
She shook her head. ‘Not one of my many talents, sadly.’
I exhaled. Sure, the words were similar enough to translate.
Note to self—watch yourself in future.
I snorted under my breath. What future? The sharp rip of something in my chest told me it wasn’t as laughable as I was attempting.
‘I gave you a command, Jensen.’
I took the vital step that brought me close to her.
‘Take my cup,’ she instructed.
I took it, turned and set it down next to mine.
With a soft snap of her fingers, she pointed to the floor.
I dropped to my knees, my heart threatening to burst out of my chest as I lowered my gaze. She inhaled sharply and moved closer until only inches separated us.
She placed her fingers beneath my jaw, nudged my gaze up before leaning in even closer. ‘I’ve seen you out there in your element, owning and bending nature to your will. That’s great. Out there, you can be in charge all you like. But in here, you hand over control to me. I own your every move, your every breath. Do you understand?’
The knot I’d carried since Stephanie’s lies unravelled, the raging need for the thick promise in Graciela’s words shocking me to my soul. ‘Yes, min elskerinde.’
She gave a brisk nod. ‘Let’s establish rules. You have my word that I’ll be truthful. That I won’t do anything to degrade you. We’re both free to end this any time we want, storm or no storm. Agreed?’
Relief washed through me. Something else threatened to unravel, but I kept a tight hold on it. I wasn’t ready to trust. Not just yet. ‘Agreed.’
‘Good. Safe words. Do you have one for me?’
I wanted to tell her I didn’t need one. That I’d willingly follow her every instruction. But that was a slippery slope. Checks and balances were in place for a reason. I couldn’t go into this ignoring rules right from the start. Besides, if she truly was a Domme, she would insist upon it.
I cast around for a suitable safe word as she stared down at me, eyes blazing.
And then it became laughably clear. The only thing it could be. ‘Hazel,’ I said, the word ringing inside me.
‘Hazel,’ she repeated, a smile curving her lips. ‘I can work with that.’
Her gaze swept up and down my body, lingered on my hair. I couldn’t quite read her expression but I could tell she wanted to touch me. More specifically, drag her fingers through my hair the way she did last night in the tent. And, boy, did I want her to.
I didn’t vocalise my need, however. The words would remain locked in my throat until she gave me permission. She didn’t give it.
Instead, she stepped back, casting a critical eye over the cabin. She paused at the fireplace and glanced back at me. ‘I’d like you to set up the bedding you spoke about in front of the fireplace. Then undress and wait for me there.’
I rose to my feet, barely able to think through the wild roar in my ears at the thought of pleasing her. The blankets we’d brought in from the trek still lay in a heap next to the fireplace but I went to the supply cupboard to grab fresh, more comfortable ones.
Made of thick merino wool, three would do the job of providing adequate cushioning, I judged. If things went the way I hoped they would, we’d be there for hours. If we needed it, I’d blow up the air mattress later. Or, better still, Graciela might decide on the king-size bed going to waste upstairs.
Adding a handful of pillows, I silently thanked
