We ate our sandwiches and enjoyed the warm sun on our skin for a while. I was lying down on a blanket Elias had produced from his backpack and had my head pillowed on my folded jacket. I felt so content, I could’ve fallen asleep.
I was thinking that Elias still had not mentioned how it had gone with his parents the night before and was debating whether to ask when I saw him pull out a book from his backpack. He lay back propped on his elbow and started reading a poem out loud.
At first I didn’t recognize it, then realized he was reciting Langston Hughes. Of course he was. I closed my eyes with a smile on my lips and listened as he read quietly, his lilting accent bringing the familiar words to life for me in a completely new way.
When ma man looks at me,
He knocks me off ma feet.
He’s got those ’lectric-shockin’ eyes an’
De way he shocks me sho is sweet.
I let him finish the poem before opening my eyes, locking them with his. I let him see how much I was feeling the poem. Him. This moment.
My man.
God, I wish he could be. He disarmed me with how open he was, how tenacious. To take the chance to kiss or touch me when he could never really know what my intentions were. He couldn’t know for sure if I’d betray him. He just trusted I wouldn’t. I turned to him as he leafed through the book, my head brimming with questions.
“That night at Saba’s, why did you kiss me in front of her?” I asked, almost in a whisper, even though no one was close enough to overhear. I wanted to keep these words right in the space between us.
“Because you were waiting for my kiss, and I wanted to give it to you.”
I turned my face away, but not so much that he couldn’t see my smile. That was the truth, and he said it, and that’s where Elias would end me: he would never lie to me.
I had to be brave enough to tell the truth too. I had to tell Elias how I felt about him. Even if it was only that: just something I had to say.
After a while we gathered our stuff and walked back down to the car, and Elias drove me to the guesthouse. It was early afternoon and there weren’t many people around, so I asked him if he’d stay for a bit. He didn’t answer, just followed me up the stairs. Once inside, he locked the door, then turned around and raked his eyes over me with such heat I felt my skin burning.
We both took a step forward and met by the bed, grabbing at each other frantically. I lifted up on to my tiptoes so I could kiss him. We touched with urgency, like we were going to lose our minds if we didn’t get as close as possible.
I licked into Elias’s mouth one last time before going down on my knees in front of him. Having his cock in my mouth had become an obsession. I loved how into it Elias got. He went from gentle to rough and demanding as soon as I took him in my mouth. He’d grab the back of my head with both hands and push himself deep into my throat. Until all I could taste and smell was him.
I was hungry for that right now, to feel the intensity of this desire.
I looked up at him as I mouthed his crotch, the fabric of his shorts damp from pre-come.
“Give me your cock. I need it.” I nosed at it, teasing. Not touching, wanting him to take out his dick and feed it to me.
He tugged on my hair just hard enough to make me pay attention. Lifting my face to look at him. His face was flushed, and his brown lips were tinted with pink where I’d bitten him. “If I have to pull it out and do all the work for you, I’m going to make you take it all at once.”
The way he talked to me cranked me up to a fever pitch in no time. I was practically vibrating from how bad I needed him. “Do it.”
He pushed his shorts down and took out his cock, the head pink and wet, foreskin pulled back. I almost listed, feeling the blood rushing to my ears. I stuck my tongue out, desperate to taste him, but before I did I raised my eyes to him. “I want you in my mouth, and then I want you to fuck me.”
Elias’s eyes widened, and his hand, which had been stroking my face, froze. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” Even though Elias and I had been together many times, we’d both set an unspoken boundary around that. What we’d already been doing was so good that I hadn’t questioned why I didn’t ask for more, and he’d let me set the pace. Maybe it was some silly line in the sand I created to protect myself from the inevitable. But he was already all the way inside my heart, and I wanted all of him.
He pulled on my hair again until I was looking straight at him. He bent down to give me a bruising kiss. Our tongues glided together until we were both gasping for air. When we pulled apart, his eyes were burning. “Open your mouth, Desta. I’m going to push in until I can feel your throat.”
I moaned, desperate for it, and opened my mouth as he pressed inside. This was what I loved about
