Chair, With His White Hair And Everlasting Smile, That I Got Into One Of
My Worst Tempers And Poured Out A Regular Volley Of Thunder At Him."
"Well, And The Dean--Did He Lose His Temper?" Asked Rachel.
Worse Laughed. "I Might Just As Well Have Tried To Get A Spark Out Of
Wood, As To Get Him To Lose His Temper. No; The Dean Was Bland As Ever,
And When I Left He Shook My Hand, And Hoped He Might Soon Have The
Pleasure Of Seeing Me Again. But Afterwards I Got Well Paid Out For That
Visit."
"How Was That?" She Asked.
"Well, You See, Since Then I Seem To Have Been Under A Ban, Which Shows
Itself In all Sorts Of Little Ways--In Business, In Society, Everywhere.
My Mother, Poor Thing, Hears It In Her Shop From Her Customers, And It
Always Takes The Same Annoying Form: Regret About Modern Disbelief, And
Free-Thinking, And So On; And I Am Certain That Most People Regard It As
A Stroke Of Wonderful Good Luck, That I Was Prevented In Good Time From
Corrupting--Yes, No Less Than Corrupting--Our Noble Workpeople. So I
Said To Myself, 'Since There Is Such A Wide Difference Between My
Opinions And Those Of The People Whom I Wish To Assist, And Since My
Nature Is What It Is, There Is Nothing Else To Be Done But For Me To
Keep Myself Thoroughly Occupied With My Work, And Hold My Peace.'"
Chapter 15 Pg 107
"Peace! Yes, There It Is Again!" Said Rachel. "But No, No! I Am Sure You
Are Not Right."
"Well, Let Me Speak To You About Yourself, Miss Garman," Said Jacob
Worse, Becoming More Courageous. "Neither I Nor Any One Else Of Your
Acquaintance Will Be Able To Comply Fully With The Conditions You Lay
Down. But I Know One Person Who Has The Power, And That, Miss Garman, Is
Yourself. You Have All The Qualifications We Others Lack."
"I! A Woman! And, Worse Than All, A Lady!" Said Rachel, Looking At Him
With The Greatest Astonishment. "And How, If I May Ask?"
"You Must Write!"
Rachel Hesitated, And Looked At Him Suspiciously. "That Is Not The First
Time I Have Heard This. More Than One Person Has Mentioned It To Me
Before. I Suppose It Is That Authorship Is Reckoned As One Of The Bad
Habits Of An Emancipated Woman."
Jacob Worse Again Began To Lose His Self-Command. "I Don'T Mind Your
Calling Me A Coward, Miss Garman. But When You Think, Or Pretend To
Think, That I Am Not Speaking More Seriously Than Some Of These--"
"No, No; Sit Down, I Beg You," Said Rachel, Anxiously, Putting Her Hand
On His Arm. "I Did Not Mean Any Harm, But I Am So Suspicious. I Beg
Pardon. There, Now, Don'T Think Any More About It. You Really Do Think,
Then, That I Ought To Write?"
"I Am Quite Sure You Ought," Answered Worse, Who Soon Became Quiet
Again. "You Have So Much Originality And So Much Energy, That You Will
Be Able To Overcome Every Difficulty, And In courage You Are Certainly
Not Wanting."
Amid The Whirl Of The Dance Around Them, These Encouraging Words Sounded
Doubly Strange In Her Ears, And Seemed To Open Out New Vistas Before
Her.
"But What Have I Got To Write About? What Do I Know That The World Does
Not Know Already? No, You Really Must Be Wrong, Mr. Worse. It Is Beyond
Me;" And She Looked Down At Her Dress, And Could Not Help Feeling That
Worse Was Becoming Rather Dull.
"It Is Not Very Easy To Say Beforehand What Your Subject Ought To Be,"
Said He; "But It Is Clear That There Are Endless Things That The World
Can Only Learn From A Woman, And Which It Seems To Be Expecting To Hear.
For You It Is But To Have The Will. You Are Now Passing Through A Crisis
In Your Life, And You Have Such A Fund Of Energy--"
"You Seem To Be Treating Me More Like A Chemical Equivalent Than Like A
Human Being, Not To Say Like A Lady," Said Rachel, Laughing.
"Let Us Be Thankful That You Have So Little Of The Lady About You," Said
Jacob Worse, Bluntly.
The Dance Now Began For Which Rachel Was Otherwise Engaged, And Her
Chapter 15 Pg 108
Partner Came And Carried Her Off.
Jacob Worse Stood Watching Her For A Few Minutes. He Then Got His Coat
And Went Home.
He Perfectly Understood That By Awakening These Thoughts In Her, He
Would Make The Fulfilment Of What Was Really The Dream Of His Life
Become More Distant Than Ever. But He Felt Convinced That Rachel'S
Splendid Abilities Would Be Entirely Thrown Away In Her Present Narrow
Sphere; And He Felt, Too, That He Was Perfectly Honest To Himself, When
He Said That He Would Not Hinder Her From Taking The Path She Ought To
Follow, Even If He Thereby Destroyed His Own Greatest Happiness. But
When He Got Home And Was Alone In His Own Quiet Room, He Was Even More
Dispirited. He Could Not But See That When Rachel Came To Have A Proper
Estimate Of Her Own Powers, She Would Find Her Present Home Too Narrow
For Her, And A Marriage Such As He Could Offer Would Be Quite Unworthy
Of Her.
He Saw A Light In The Rooms At The Back Of The House. It Was Not Much
Past Eleven; So He Went Over To His Mother, Whom He Found In Her
Dressing-Gown, Busied In arranging Her Small Remnant Of Hair For The
Night.
It Was Not Astonishing That The Worthy Mrs. Worse'S Eyes Kindled With
Pride When She Saw Her Tall, Handsome Son Come In, Dressed As He Had
Been For The Ball: But When He Threw Himself On The Sofa, And Hid His
Face In His Hands, And Said, "Oh, Mother! Mother!" Just As He Had Done
In His Boyhood When He Had Done Something Foolish, Mrs. Worse Shook Her
Clenched Fist Against Some Imaginary Foe In The Corner Of The Room, And
Muttered, "Is It Decent To Send Me Home A Son In Such A Plight?"
She Did Not, However, Say The Words Aloud, But Went Over And Took His
Head Upon Her Lap, And, As She Passed Her Fingers Through His Hair, She
Said With Her Unwavering Constancy, "There, My Dear Boy, Only Keep
Yourself Calm, And It Will All Come Right, Somehow Or Another."
Rachel Would Also Have
