Only now it made her more determined to take care of him. To put his needs before hers. Not because it was easier. Or because she’d been brought up to make people like her. But because she loved him.
“I want you to stay,” Rafe said, his voice a deep rumble.
And he meant it. She was sure of it. Making this all the harder still.
Sable sat taller, held eye contact and said, “What if I told you there was no baby?”
Rafe flinched. “What do you mean, no baby?”
“What if I wasn’t pregnant?”
A shadow passed over his eyes. His gaze dropped to her belly. His brown furrowing as if he was trying to ascertain her truth.
Sable waited for his gaze to lift to hers. “Back at the beginning of all this, I said I trusted you but you didn’t say it back. Do you trust me now?”
His pause was telling. “Trust you in what way?”
“Every way.”
He ran a hand over his face. “Have I ever woken up, found the bed empty, and for a second wondered if you’ve gone? Sure.”
Sable felt heat rise in her cheeks. “More than once?”
Rafe sank into a crouch. His hands went to her shoulders, sliding down her arms to hold her by the elbows. His gaze locked onto hers and refused to let go. “You’re starting to really scare me now, Sutton. What’s going on in that head of yours?” he said, his voice rough. “Talk to me.”
She swallowed. “I’m not pregnant, Rafe. There is no baby. I got my period. Just this morning.”
His eyes squeezed shut. Holding back emotion with such vehemence a vein bulged in his neck. “So why didn’t you just say that?”
Rafe’s eyes caught hers, searching, begging her to speak. To open up. But she was at the bottom of a well. His face at the top the only light she could see.
He swiped a hand over his face, stood, and turned away.
“What if—?” she started, then stopped.
He turned back to her, his face ravaged. “What if what?”
“What if a baby hadn’t been on the cards? Would you have let me in? Would you have taken me back?”
A muscle flickered at the edge of his eye. “Maybe. No. I don’t know. But haven’t these past weeks made it clear? You and me...we never needed a baby to bring us together. To be happy.”
Sable swallowed. Believing him. And hating it.
She blinked away the grit at the backs of her eyes. Her voice small as she said, “But a baby is what I want, Rafe. Not a relationship. And while I know we both came at this thing from the right place, I think, deep down, we both know what this really was.”
“And what is that?”
“Closure.”
Rafe reared back as if slapped. “So that’s it? One miss and you’re giving up on us?”
“Rafe, there is no us.” How she kept her voice gentle, she had no idea. For she could barely believe the words even as she said them.
“Harsh, Sutton. That’s too damned harsh.” Rafe looked as if he wanted to drag the thunder from the clouds hanging low and ominous overhead and throw it down upon the earth. “You know what? In all the years I’ve known you, that’s the first time I’ve ever looked in your eyes and seen your mother looking back at me.”
Sable pushed the swing back and twisted out from under the chains. Away from Rafe. Away from his glinting eyes. She felt so fragile, so pained. It was nearly too much. So she went into “Rafe mode”. Full statue. Giving nothing away. Something he’d learned at the feet of his father. Not that she’d tell him so. She had hurt him enough.
“There’s nothing I can say to change your mind,” Rafe said.
There was. But she was not about to ask him to tell her he loved her, that he’d always love her, that they were meant to muddle their way through whatever life threw at them, together. She’d asked too much of him already.
She shook her head and took a few steps away before his voice stopped her in her tracks.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“To pack. Book my flight. Nancy will meet me when I get to New York.”
“Call me,” he said, his voice like sandpaper. “When you get there. Let me know you arrived safe.”
And this time Rafe was the one to walk away. In the opposite direction. Into the park.
His shoulders were hunched, his strides long. The mist in the air had turned to drizzle until it filled the air with grey, turning Rafe into a smudge in the distance.
Leaving Sable a clear path to head back towards town. Feeling empty. Lost.
But in cutting Rafe loose, in giving him a chance to find all that he truly wanted in time, she was certain she’d done the absolute right thing.
Maybe even for the first time in her life.
CHAPTER TEN
RAFE HAD NO clue how long he’d sat on the stool at the end of The Coffee Shop counter.
But when he looked up, it was dark outside. The rain had eased. The lights inside were turned down low. The front door sign was turned to closed. And his face felt hot from having been smooshed into his palms for ever.
“Another?”
Rafe turned his head on a heavy neck to find Bear at the end of the counter, hand-drying latte glasses. “Hmm?”
“You want another?”
Rafe looked down at the empty mug in front of him. Remembering, a sluggish beat later, it had contained gin and tonic. Perhaps more than one. Not his drink of choice. But it had done the trick. “Are you even licensed?”
“Are you a cop? I’m closed. I’m not selling it to you. Want some or not?”
Rafe pushed the mug out, asking for more. Bear wandered over and filled it halfway. Then filled a mug of his own,
