When she walked into the kitchen, she was surprised to see it empty.
“I’m heading outside,” Trish called.
Cassie spun around.
Trish was standing at the living room door, wearing a stylish parka. She was holding a tray with a bottle of white wine and two glasses.
Cassie hadn’t expected this invitation, and it made her feel deeply uneasy. She didn’t want to sit on that balcony ever again. It was too full of memories. Why weren’t they going to chat in the kitchen?
Then it came to her. Trish must be concerned about the children overhearing. If they closed the balcony door—which she and Ryan had never done—it would be more private outside.
“You needn’t worry,” Trish said, obviously misunderstanding the reason for Cassie’s hesitation. “I bought this bottle today, at the off-license in town. It won’t have been tampered with.”
“I didn’t—” Cassie began, and then simply said, “I’ll get my jacket.”
She ran to her room, grabbed her jacket, and headed outside.
As she’d expected, Trish closed the balcony door behind them.
The night was very still; there was no wind whatsoever, only the faraway crash of the sea.
“What a day it’s been,” Trish said. “I’m glad it’s over. They say after a tragedy you just have to take things hour by hour, day by day. Now I understand what they mean.”
She poured two large glasses of wine and handed one to Cassie.
“It’s been a waking nightmare,” Cassie said. “I’m so sorry about all of this.”
“It’s not your fault. What a weird scenario, both of us being together out here. I know you had drinks with Ryan a few times.”
Cassie felt as if she were plunging into an abyss of guilt. Remembering those carefree evenings, those kisses, how she had felt as if she were falling in love. What a betrayal the whole episode had been, for so many people, in so many ways.
“If I’d known, I never would have done it.”
She couldn’t meet Trish’s eyes, but instead stared out at the dark sea.
“What did he say to you?”
Now she turned, regarding Trish with apprehension.
“How do you mean?”
Trish sipped her wine.
“I would like to know what he said to you. About me, about our situation. To you, about you. I’ve been feeling torn up about this, so much that I’ve been unable to sleep. I need closure. I actually visited a psychologist today and he advised that I should talk to you. He said it would help both of us to heal.”
Cassie took a deep breath. She had been doing her best to forget what had been said, and what had been done. She’d never imagined having to share the details of their conversation. On the other hand, she could imagine how devastated Trish must be, knowing she’d been part of such a huge web of lies.
If the psychologist advised it, Cassie guessed she would have to go along with it and hope that the truth would indeed be cathartic.
“When I first phoned Ryan about the job, I wasn’t sure if I wanted it. I think he sensed that and looked for a way to convince me. Saying he was divorced was playing the sympathy card, I guess. He did it very cleverly. He said the kids were traumatized and didn’t want to talk about it and I shouldn’t pressure them. So as a result I never mentioned it to them and I only figured out what was happening after you came back.”
Relating the story, Cassie felt deeply ashamed by how gullible she’d been.
“So what did he tell you?”
Cassie was glad it was dark, as she found herself blushing as she remembered what he’d said.
“That you were a strong person, but that you’d become needier as the kids had grown older, and you’d grown apart emotionally. He made it sound as if you had already moved out. I asked about your clothes after I found them in the cupboard, and he said that you hadn’t taken all of them. Everything was explained away.”
Trish nodded.
“What about our vow renewal? Did he mention that?”
“Did you actually have it?” Cassie asked, surprised, then caught herself. Of course its cancellation must have been another of Ryan’s lies.
“Oh, yes. It was a big event. We had a hundred invited guests. My colleagues, Ryan’s colleagues, my parents, his sister and brother. Ryan is estranged from his parents. He hasn’t seen them for many years. His father wanted him to go to the Navy and Ryan refused; that’s when the conflict started.”
“Oh,” Cassie said, appalled by the extent of the falsehoods she’d ended up believing.
“He told me he was in the Navy and ended up as a captain.”
“Pure fiction,” Trish said sadly. “Anyway, the vow renewal was held, and it was a big success. I paid for it all. As I’m sure you have gathered, my substantial salary is what subsidizes our lifestyle. Ryan’s boats bring in pocket money, but not enough to make a meaningful difference to our finances, and his recent purchase of the yacht put him firmly in the red.”
Cassie nodded, remembering the loan agency letter, and thinking there might be some debts that even Trish didn’t know about.
“Anyway, back to you,” Trish continued. “When did you find out what was going on?”
“I guess the first time I knew anything was when you walked in.”
Cassie’s wine was finished. She’d been drinking fast, unsettled by the turn the conversation had taken. Trish leaned over and refilled it.
On an empty stomach, Cassie knew she’d better slow her drinking down, because she needed to keep her wits about her. She was already feeling lightheaded and garrulous.
“What did you think?” Trish asked.
“I assumed you’d come back to get some of your things. I never dreamed you lived here. I couldn’t believe it when you walked into the bedroom and I had no idea what I should do. Then I saw Ryan had changed the bed sheets.”
Cassie felt her face flaming again.
“Hiding the evidence,” Trish said with
