“Yes. Now I see that. The problem was, Trish, that I believed him. I really did. I trusted what he said. So for a long time I was in total shock and every new revelation, I found a way to justify somehow.”
How stupid she’d been. Looking back, Cassie wished she’d given the situation more thought, instead of blindly accepting what she’d been told.
“You must have gone through a tough time during those few days,” Trish remarked, and Cassie was glad to hear the sympathy in her voice.
“I’ve been living in hell. Before you came back, I’d been certain that Ryan and I were going to start a life together. It felt like a fairytale, but at the same time, it was happening and he seemed so genuine. He gave me gifts. He told me that he loved me.”
Tears prickled her eyes and she put her glass down to wipe them away. When she looked again, she saw Trish had topped it up and it was brimful once again.
“You must have been angry?” she asked.
“I was furious. I felt completely used. I’ve never been so ashamed in my life. I thought I was going mad. I felt betrayed. I realized how badly I’d been lied to and how stupid I’d been, and how skillfully he had—I guess, played me—to believe whatever he wanted me to.”
Trish nodded understandingly as Cassie continued.
“I could have killed him when I realized, I admit it. That’s how angry I was. I imagined throttling him, or taking a kitchen knife to him. It made me feel better to think about him dead. I wasn’t coping; I felt so helpless and enraged.”
Cassie let out a deep breath, glad that she was managing to be honest, even though it was with the help of more than half a bottle of wine. After all, when the conversation turned to the identity of the real suspect, she would need to be able to speak openly and not be scared of how Trish might react. And Trish would need to be completely honest with her, too.
“You haven’t told me everything,” Trish murmured, and Cassie frowned at her, perplexed. What more was there to share?
“How do you mean?”
“What was it like when you slept together? What did he do? Did you sleep together after I came back, or only while I was away?”
Cassie took another large gulp of wine.
How could she possibly disclose this? It was private and had no bearing on anything. Why did Trish need to know?
“Trish, I don’t think I should tell you that. I don’t—I don’t want you to be hurt. And details like that can be hurtful.”
“You don’t think that not knowing is the most painful of all?” Trish asked in a gentle voice.
Cassie shook her head.
“I’m not sure, but how can more information make it any better?”
She felt confused by the direction things were heading, and wondered if asking for these details had been part of the psychologist’s advice.
A moment later, Trish confirmed her thoughts.
“Dr. Mills told me that it would help.”
If the psychologist had recommended this, she had to try. Probably, Trish needed closure, too. Cassie hoped that her words would heal, rather than harm.
“He was a really good lover,” she said quietly. “At first it felt—I don’t know—a bit awkward to me because I was thirteen years younger than him and had been hired to help out. He made me feel like a princess. He knew exactly what to do.”
She glanced at Trish, hoping this would be enough, but Trish was watching her expectantly.
“Carry on,” she said.
“That’s it, really.” Cassie glanced at her appealingly but Trish shook her head.
“There must be more.”
“I can’t think of anything.”
“You’ve told me what he did, but not what he said. Please share that,” Trish encouraged her.
With that, Ryan’s words, and his promises, came rushing back, and Cassie found she couldn’t hold the memories in.
“He told me how beautiful my body was, that he could imagine waking up with me every day of his life and was looking forward to doing that. He said I was special and unique. That I turned him on in a way nobody ever had.”
“Go on?” Trish said softly.
“We didn’t sleep together after you got back, but he kept promising me that everything was OK.”
“Did he kiss you?”
“Yes, we kissed a few times after you were back.”
“How about love? Did he ever tell you that?”
“He did. When I tried to leave one night, he told me that I needed to trust him, that he loved me. He gave me a diamond necklace then. I thought that was proof that he meant what he said—diamonds are forever, right?”
Cassie was breathing hard, reliving the anxiety and dismay she’d felt.
“Oh, poor Cassie. How angry you must have been when you realized those foundations were built on clay.”
“I was devastated.”
“Was that when you had the pregnancy scare?”
“Yes. I found out that it was only a scare, but it made everything even worse. It showed me how serious the consequences could have been. And it made me realize how alone I was.”
“So you confronted him?” Trish asked.
“By then I was furious. My car got vandalized the day before you came back. Wires were cut to disable the battery. I found out Ryan had done it and I think he was preparing for your arrival by making sure I couldn’t leave. He wanted a babysitter on site so that he could spend time with you.”
Trish frowned slightly.
“Vandalism? Are you sure he went that far?”
Cassie nodded miserably. “I’m certain. I found the tools he’d used, and some of the wire scraps, in the Land Rover’s cubbyhole. I don’t think he’d expected me to look there, but I did.”
“Then you called him a liar?”
“I called him out on everything. We were out here on the balcony. It was after you came back from your getaway—you went straight to bed. I accused him outright of being a liar, and he changed completely. I’ve never seen him so angry. I didn’t even know
