Nothing made sense anymore, and I wished I had never arrived in Roness. Cursed be this town and cursed be the Di Centi’s influence over it.
All I ever wanted was to understand who I was, to heal the wounds of the past and perhaps reunite with my grandfather. He looked nothing like me, that was true.
Also, my bag was nowhere to be found, and I assumed the grimoire to be in the hands of Tonio and the whole inner circle. It was less safe there than in my grandfather’s possession.
Tonio came back every day to ask me the same question over and over again. “Where is she?”
No matter how many tears he witnessed running down my face or how many times I begged him to release me, after answering the truth, he announced my execution in five days. Unlike for weddings, they apparently weren’t prepared for that. Perhaps he thought knowing the date of my death would shake me up and I would reveal her hideout.
I cried for hours without end, thinking about Deg, and if Tonio had interrogated him like me. I’d caused too much pain, maybe I deserved to die.
25. Destiny
After I collected some energy through light sleep, I broke out a tiny stone fragment out of the wall and carved the star-shaped rune into the floor. It was barely visible but had to do. Wine wasn’t available, and I wondered if I could descend without it, or make Veymor appear.
Since I had betrayed him twice, I prepared to get rejected and die but still tried.
I chanted every sentence on my mind, but nothing worked, even when I cut open my hand with the dull piece of stone.
Veymor had said he loved me above anything else and one day, I would learn what it meant to love and slit my wrists open for him. I thought he meant my love for him would make me do it, but it was not true. It was the perfect opportunity to deliberate about whether I would try this measure. What did it matter if I burned at the stake or died inside my cell right there and then? At least there was a chance to ensure Deg was free, and Claire was safe. I would abstain from demanding my own freedom. Because of my love for them. But cutting myself? That, I would do for Veymor, to wake his attention.
Love is sacrifice.
I no longer minded my death to ensure their life. Veymor said he loved me throughout all times. I hoped he would give his pride up for me, and so I scratched my arms with the sharpest edge until I bled in streams.
The tears that dripped into the open flesh stung in my veins and caused me to bleed more than I expected. On the verge of blacking out, I yelled as loud as I could, “Claim me, Lord of the Underworld!”
The guards didn’t react. Their only function was to monitor intruders, but no one dared to save me.
“Claim me!”
From underneath, Veymor rose and held me in his arms. Together we sank into the Underworld.
When I brushed his cheek, my fiery-red blood stained his blemishless skin. He loved me. After all, he came to my rescue. The colour of my blood suited his pale skin perfectly. Every bit of him was harmony and peace. My stomach tightened when he looked into my eyes. We had them in common, black like coal, just like our hair. Perhaps we went well together, better than I’d assumed and fought against.
“You’re ready,” he said, “What is it?” His body capsuled me like an infant and I calmed down my rapid breath.
“Deg and Claire, I want them to be safe,” I answered.
“They are. What else?”
“The grimoire. Forgive me, but they have it.”
“You’ll figure it out,” he said.
“Me?” I shrugged. “But it’s the end of my journey.”
Veymor stood up and carried me through the iron bars. In the Underworld, they had no meaning. The blood stopped streaming out of my veins and came to a halt. My heart wasn’t beating but I remained awake. In the Upperworld, this was my last moment.
“Do you know what’s happening?” he asked, and I shook my head.
We left the tunnel, located under the academy, and exited through a tiny shaft on the bed of the mountain. It was overgrown with moss.
“My heart,” I whispered.
“That’s what it takes.”
I took deep breaths of his vapour until we reached the end of the woods and a sea full of bright red flowers bloomed in front of us.
Veymor put me down onto them and stepped over me. “Don’t panic,” he said and conjured a circle of black smoke around us. It didn’t spread. Its heat didn’t harm the flowers or my skin. The Underworld had its own rules.
When we ascended back to the Upperworld, the smoke vanished, but signs of burned ground remained in its shape. It had an unpredictable effect here, and I understood why he only appeared in a preexisting portal.
Veymor plucked a handful of flowers out of the field and commanded me to chew its black centre. “You left this life behind, to serve me,” he said. “Usually, I’m not demanding but you disappointed me, Verra.”
I didn’t oppose him, he was right. He was merciful by listening to me after my betrayals, and I wondered if it was because of his curse to love me, or because he had a greater purpose for me in mind.
“I will do as you say.”
Serving him couldn’t be avoided. He had to take the grimoire back eventually, and I would’ve let him claim me for the sake of keeping it.
After repeating his prayers, the vibrations of his body spread into my limbs and I began shaking. His odour intensified, and I could not stop inhaling it.
