“Anna.”
“Matt.”
They both started to speak at the same time.
Matt waved his hand. “Please … let me speak, and I think I’ll set your mind at ease.”
His throat tightened in an impossible ache, and he swallowed hard to release the knot. He forced himself to speak while he still had the nerve.
“I’ve done some thinking.”
She didn’t need to know that the thinking had been in the last few minutes viewing her emotion. Nor that the truth had hit him like the force of a loaded semi-truck rammed full speed into a brick wall.
He now felt crushed and mangled. He hated what he saw in himself. The selfishness. His demanding attitude. The lack of sacrifice for the one person in the world he loved more than life itself.
Silence, weighted and thick, hung between them. She sat across from him with a perplexed lift to her beautifully arched brows.
“I’ve been thinking about your friends, your family, your church … everything that is important to you, and I found something inside myself I don’t like all that much. In my selfishness, I’ve demanded what may very well destroy you. I’m no longer willing to do that.”
She stared at him with her dark brown eyes popped wide.
“I want to be a father to our child with all my heart, but I want you to be happy more. My demands will ensure the world knows our story and will cause you great embarrassment and shame. I can’t in good conscience do that after all you’ve been through. I will help you financially, but that will be my only involvement.”
“Matt, you’d do that for me?”
It pained him greatly to say yes, but he did.
A genuine smile flooded her face as she reached across the table to take his hands in both of hers. “Matt, you truly are a wonderful person. Your child is going to be so blessed to have a father like you.”
He didn’t know what to take from that remark, but it sure felt wonderful holding her hands and having her smile at him like she actually meant it.
She pulled her hands from the table to her oversized lap. Matt watched Anna smooth the top of the mound in a gentle circular motion as she arched her back and shifted in her chair.
“Are you okay?”
“No worries, Matt. Sitting is hard these days, and junior here doesn’t like the scrunched up feeling any more than I do. That’s why I smooth my hands over my belly, it seems to calm him down.”
“Him? You think it’s a boy.”
“Oh, yeah, this is a boy,” she laughed. “The pregnancy has been exactly like the last two, same heartbeat, same positioning, everything.”
“I think it’s a girl.” He shrugged. “I can’t tell you why, I just do. But why haven’t you found out? Most everyone does these days.”
“What? And spoil one of the best surprises in life. Nope, I want to wait, so how about a little wager on it, Matt?”
“I thought you good Christians don’t bet.”
The pained look she shot him made him regret his playful banter.
“I guess we’ve established that I’m not always such a good Christian, am I?”
He could tell she was referring to their past. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”
“I know. And yes, we do have small fun bets, not like mortgaging the house or anything. When my boys still lived at home, we’d often debate a subject with the loser having to fulfill a favor or do a chore. Besides, it made them research the answer to prove their point. All in good fun.”
“Okay, what do I want if the baby’s a girl?” He brushed a hand through his curly mop. “I want to give our baby girl her middle name. I wouldn’t suggest the first, but the second for sure.”
Anna laughed. “I hope it’s not Gertrude, Ethel, or Myrtle … because that wouldn’t be considered a fun bet.”
“I assure you, it’s not any of those names. I’ve been thinking about Joy, because I’ve felt nothing but joy at the thought of being a father.”
Anna’s eyes glistened with tears, and a flutter of disquiet tugged at her heart. “You’ve already given serious thought to names?”
“Yeah, so how about our wager?”
“It’s a deal.”
“Hey, wait a minute. Before we shake on it, what do you want if you win?”
“I hope I don’t win.”
That made him smile.
“Let’s go for a walk!” she suggested. “Baby and I will be a whole lot more comfortable.” She fished some coins out of her purse for the glass of milk she had ordered and dropped them on the checkered tablecloth.
He followed her out of the restaurant wondering what else they’d have to discuss, since he would soon be out of her life, but decided he’d enjoy this last walk by her side.
He reached for her arm in protection as they crossed the street. Once he had touched her, it felt as natural as breathing to slide his hand down her arm and entwine his fingers into hers.
He could see out of the corner of his eye that she momentarily looked over in surprise but made no attempt to remove her hand. He kept his gaze straight ahead as if nothing was unusual. The sensation of her warm hands in his sent a shiver up his spine. Yes indeed, he’d enjoy this last walk. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.
They walked hand in hand in silence to a nearby park. He felt oddly at peace with his decision to give up his rights to the baby.
She interrupted his musings. “Matt, I’m glad you found me and forced the truth to surface.”
He was shocked by her words.
“Living that lie chewed me up inside. And what I did to you was so
