“You’ve said you were sorry—”
She stepped in front of him to face him. “But sorry means setting it right. When you came along claiming the right to your child and a meaningful relationship with him—”
“Her.”
A smile flooded her face, “Okay, her.
“Matt, it was the catalyst I needed to change. I’ve already told a number of people the truth. I have a long way to go yet, but as the Bible says, the truth will set me free. I haven’t felt this good in months.”
“Really?”
“Yes. You’re this child’s father, and if you desire to be a father then you deserve that right as much as I deserve the right to be a mother. Besides, our child needs you. I was cheating you and our baby, for the sake of my own pride.”
Matt let her words wash over him. He was going to be a father, and the thought thrilled him to no end. Not to mention, having the opportunity to pop in regularly into this beautiful woman’s life. His heart swelled in size.
Matt longed to drop a kiss on her sun-drenched cheek, or better yet on her glorious lips, but he remembered his decision to concentrate on the baby alone. They resumed their walk with his hand regretfully at his side, and he steered the conversation away from them. They talked, and even laughed about totally unrelated subjects. As they circled the park, Matt felt their easy friendship return and marveled at the gift of this awesome restart.
“But, Lana, you’ve got to believe me when I say that I’m sorry. This was not personal—”
“Not personal? Give me a break. You lie to me for months, and I’m not supposed to take this personally?”
Anna hung her head in shame. “I was wrong. Please forgive me?”
Lana shook her head. “I still can’t believe this. You didn’t trust me? The one person in the world that I thought I could always confide in didn’t trust me with the truth.”
Anna could feel the hurt oozing from her sister’s words.
“Our families go to the same church, we see each other regularly, everyone always says we’re as thick as thieves. People are going to think I was in on this lie, and I don’t like that one bit.”
“No, Lana, I’ll go to the pastor myself. I’ll tell them the truth, that you had nothing to do with this.”
“As if I can believe you’ll tell the truth.”
Anna turned away. “I guess I deserve that, but I’ll stand before the church and confess to everyone. I’m done with the lies.”
“Oh, nice, then we’ll all get to share in your public shame.”
The click, click, click of Lana’s heels reverberated off the hardwood as she paced back and forth.
“Anna, did you stop in your selfishness long enough to think how this situation would impact anyone besides yourself?”
“All I have to offer is my apology. Please forgive me.”
“I’ll have to think this through and talk to Tom. We’ll decide how best to handle this. You’ve placed us all in a very awkward situation. I shudder at what to tell the kids. What a poor example you’ve been to them, especially now when they are in their teens and so susceptible to the ways of the world. Why, they may think that if good little Auntie Anna can have premarital sex, then so can they.” The tone of her voice registered ten on the sarcasm scale.
“I should hope they’ll see this as more of a deterrent than encouragement,” Anna said, pointing at her stomach. “And grasp the pain sin causes others.”
Lana lifted her nose in the air. “One can only hope.” With that, she slipped out the door, always the consummate lady. She didn’t stomp down the hall, nor slam the door. Her car rolled quietly out of the drive and gently picked up speed.
Anna wished Lana had screamed, yelled, and spun the car out of the driveway in which to release some of her anger, and then offer forgiveness. But that was not Lana’s way. She simmered. She steeped. Then she cut people off and out of her life. The thought made Anna shiver. Surely, she wouldn’t do that to her own flesh and blood?
The next day Anna received a short message left on her cell.
“Anna, Tom and I have talked and will endeavor to maintain a good Christian example. We’ve been sisters … well, more than sisters, friends for too long to jeopardize all that. We forgive you, but this hurts. You’ve let us down more than you can imagine. I, in particular, need time to heal. I don’t think …” her voice wavered and silence filled the moment. “I don’t think I can handle being there at the birth and supporting you in these circumstances. You’ll have to make some other arrangement. Goodbye then.” The message clicked off but not before Anna could hear her sister’s sobbing.
Anna had considered the pain her untimely pregnancy would cost her family. It had been the reason she had allowed the lie. But having lived under the weight of such dishonesty, she knew it was not God’s way. Sin had repercussions, but to hide the sin had even more.
She had to admit, the thought of Lana’s refusal to coach her through the birth at this late date caused fear to spike. She remembered only too well how difficult the birthing process had been with both her sons, and she was a whole lot older now. To be left alone at this late hour was indeed a heavy price to pay. Her heart picked up speed and hammered in her chest. The baby kicked in retaliation.
“Oh, God,” she cried, “Quiet my fear.”
Once the truth got rolling, it became easier to tell in one sense only—the more people Anna confessed to, the more freedom she felt. The rest remained difficult. She had a plan, the immediate family first, her pastor and his wife second, and then her friends and church.
Rita prayed up a storm
