“Anna, you know you bring me joy in a thousand ways, not to mention you’re the mother of our dear, sweet daughter who needs a family.”
“But—”
He moved closer. “Please let me finish.”
She dropped her head and placed her delicate hands over her face. “I’m so confused.”
“Look at me,” he said gently, as he lifted her chin and traced a soft caress across her cheek with the pad of his thumb.
“You’re incredibly beautiful, and not just on the outside but on the inside. The sad thing is, you don’t realize it.”
Her eyes darted up to his face and back down.
“I could argue the point that we’re never at a loss for good conversation, despite our educational differences, or that money and culture mean nothing without God and true love, but you know all that.”
“I … I …”
He placed a finger against her lips. “No need to explain,” he said gently. “I read 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 this morning, and it struck me what an incredible woman and wife you were to Steven. You loved your husband completely until the end, upholding all the qualities that chapter talked about. Although what we did was morally wrong, it wasn’t a sin against your marriage, Anna. Steven was gone, and you did a lot of grieving before he passed away. But you’ll have to let go of the guilt your son and your sister heap on your shoulders. I know God doesn’t expect you to carry that load.”
Tears clung to her thick bottom lashes, and he prayed his words would strike a chord.
“But the greater concern is that you don’t love me the way I love you, or you wouldn’t be filled with fear, insecurity, and a zillion excuses. I’ve never spent a moment giving thought to reasons why I should not step into a relationship with you.
“The opposite, however, is sadly your reality.”
“I’m sorry—”
“No, Anna, I don’t want your apologies. I want what you can’t give me.”
Giant tears coursed down her ashen face. He dropped a feather-light kiss on each cheek. He stayed with his forehead pressed into hers and his hands gently cupping the sides of her face for one last moment.
“It’s okay, Anna. Love cannot be forced. It just either is or it isn’t.”
“Goodbye, my love.”
He turned from her and walked out the door.
Tears flowed down her cheeks. She could feel the finality in Matt’s words. He hadn’t said goodnight, or see you tomorrow, as was his usual. He said goodbye.
Anna didn’t hear from Matt for four long days.
One glance at her call display with his number in view caused her to jump on it, which was telling in and of itself. She felt her heartbeat quicken at the thought of a conversation with him. She’d grown used to his company, and the last few days had been far too lonely.
“Anna.” His clipped tone caused her to pause.
There was no hello or friendliness. Just Anna. He didn’t wait for her to say hello before he launched into conversation.
“I feel it judicious to have Melody come stay overnight in my home with regularity. Based on our conversation a few nights ago, she’ll need to get used to our different homes, and for her sake, sooner is better than later. Since you believe our lives cannot mesh—to use your words, then I want to set up a nursery and work out an amiable schedule for the both of us.”
“But—” She could not get a word in edgewise as he kept right on talking.
“As you know, and most likely don’t need me to reiterate, I intend to be a very active and loving father to Melody, so begin contemplating what kind of schedule will work for you. I’m sure we can affably work out the details without the court’s involvement.”
She couldn’t believe it was Matt, he sounded like a lawyer spelling out an agreement.
“Please give it some thought, and I’ll be in contact soon.”
With not an ounce of warmth and all businesslike, he said, “Bye, for now.”
The line disconnected. Anna held the phone to her ear in shock. A deep sense of regret flooded over her as tears sprung to her eyes. She deserved and understood his distance. It wasn’t fair to enjoy his company when he desired so much more.
She would see to it that he had free access to Melody and work around his schedule until her maternity leave was finished. Melody was what they had in common and always would, and that thought oddly gave her a scrap of comfort.
Anna was nervous. Her sister had called and was popping over. It was their first conversation since the day Anna had talked to Tom. She had heard from Lorena and knew that things were tentatively working out at home, but she respectfully didn’t push for more information.
In times past, Lana would’ve walked in, called out her presence, and made herself at home—but not today. Like the arrival of a distant relative, the chime of the doorbell signaled her arrival. Anna had to hurriedly finish the diaper change and scoop up Melody to answer the door.
She decided to treat her sister as she always had. “Come in, Lana, you know you can just walk in.”
Lana moved in and stood just inside the door. She wrung her hands together but didn’t speak.
Melody broke up the awkward moment. She began to gurgle and coo and gave her mother a huge smile. Anna nuzzled her close. “You’re such a happy one, aren’t you?”
“Lana, take Melody for a minute, while I make us tea.” She thrust the child into her sister’s arms, and led the way into the kitchen.
Melody smiled widely with pure innocent love, and Anna could see that Lana was overwhelmed with emotion.
“You haven’t
