“Yeah. There’s a stream that runs down from the mountains across our land, and eventually into Barn Swallow Lake, which is a lake formed by the Tennessee Valley Authority in the thirties. We’ve got trails with wonderful mountain and forest views, and even a waterfall. I’m on a well, but because the land is spring-fed, water’s never been an issue, even during drought years.”
“Are your parents still involved?”
“No, they’ve moved to Florida. My brother is still in town. He’s a lawyer. I’m buying his share.”
“It sounds like this place could pay for itself, and possibly even bring in money.”
The men shook hands, and Rob headed back into Ridgeview, his mind busy, imagining himself on a ranch like Tyler’s, raising cattle, but also having several horses. He had some savings. Since he was serious about staying here, maybe he needed to invest in a ranch, and create a job that way.
***
MJ noticed how quiet Rob was during dinner. He said little, and she finally tired of carrying on a conversation by herself. “What’s going on?” she asked. “You’ve barely said one word since I got home.”
He looked down at his lap, and she couldn’t figure out the look that passed briefly over his face. It made her nervous.
“Is something wrong?”
“No.”
“Seriously, you’re acting strange. I need you to talk to me. If there’s a problem, let’s figure it out. Keeping secrets isn’t a good way to have a healthy relationship.” Her stomach churned, and she struggled not to get mad.
“I’m sorry. Nothing is wrong.” He paused, and she gestured for him to continue.
“I went out to visit a guy I met in the support group Tuesday night. He lives south of Ridgeview and has a horse ranch. He wants to build it into a training and breeding facility. Since I’m looking for an opportunity to have a ranch at some point, maybe I should try to find land to buy rather than trying to find a job.”
“Sounds like a great idea. Is he somebody you could work for until you find a place?”
“I don’t think he has the funds to hire anybody.”
“Too bad. It sounds like you may have some things in common.”
“Yeah. I think we do. I even thought about investing in part of the business, but he didn’t seem interested. I know it’s premature to think about buying a ranch, but that’s what I’ve been thinking about all day. Sorry, I’ve been preoccupied.”
“I’m glad you told me. When you think about ranching, what appeals to you the most about it?”
“I love working with animals, and having them respond to me—horses, cattle, chickens, a dog or two. I love being outside and working hard and coming in tired after a long day. I love the sounds, the smell, and the feel of dirt in my hands.” He looked up as if staring at something she couldn’t see. “I always thought a ranch would be a great place to raise kids. I’d love for my kids to live on a ranch the way I did, to know the value of hard work, and what it’s like to grow up on beautiful, open land.”
MJ watched the faraway look in his eyes and loved the multi-sensory pictures he painted. An image of two dark-headed boys, galloping on horseback across a pasture with Rob following close behind, popped into her head. In her mind’s eye, she watched as an older version of her and a blond-headed girl in toddler-sized blue jeans and a pink shirt waved at them. She clutched a hand to her chest, feeling a stream of love fill her heart.
Was this a daydream of her and Rob and children they could have? She wanted children, sure, but she’d never pictured them before, and never had they seemed real. Never had she felt this yearning. She looked at her lap, hoping Rob hadn’t caught the expression on her face. It was too soon for them to think about a future, wasn’t it?
Rob seemed lost in thought. “I don’t know, MJ. I’m confused about what I should do. Should I try to find a regular job, or work toward my dream?”
“I always vote for the dream. If you aren’t happy, getting up in the morning can be a real drag. I know. I worked as a waitress in college, and I was miserable. I love being a librarian, though. It suits me, and once I pursued library science, I felt like my life clicked into place. I’d love for you to have that.”
“Me, too. I’ve got more thinking to do, I guess.”
MJ yawned, suddenly worn out. “Turn off your brain for the rest of the night and let’s go to bed. You can worry about it tomorrow.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Thursday morning, Rob got to the VA Outpatient Clinic with only a few minutes to wait before going back to Michael Haggarty’s office.
“How’ve you been doing?” the man asked him once Rob settled into a large overstuffed chair.
“Better, I think. I’ve had fewer nightmares.” He explained the role MJ played in the improvement. “Is it a good idea to depend upon her to keep me from having the nightmares?”
Michael shrugged. “It won’t hurt. It’s better than depending on alcohol or drugs to help you cope. Is this a serious relationship for you?”
“Absolutely.” He told the counselor how they’d met and her relationship to his buddy.
“Sounds like Trevor wanted you to meet her and trusted you with both his service dog, and the woman he loved. That’s a damned high honor, if you ask me.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way. At first, I felt guilty that I survived, and he didn’t. She really loved him, and apparently he loved her, too, although they never got together except as friends.”
“Do you still feel guilty about it?”
He stopped and gave it some
