My heart thuds, stumbles clumsily over its own feet.
He looks at me like he's in need of an explanation. I can’t explain it.
I thought him leaving was exactly what I wanted. But I’ve sort of gotten used to having him around. Even though we each stick to our own corner, the house feels less empty with him in it.
His eyes search mine. He sucks in a breath before he nods. “I’ll stay…”
14
Iris
Jessa lifts her glass with a whoop and Lexi does a silly wiggle on her stool when an upbeat pop song starts up. From behind the bar, Penny waves her arms and sings along to the first few lines of the music. I may not know the song but I find myself giggling and dancing along—albeit, more modestly—in time to the beat.
I’m in a good mood tonight.
It’s Friday. I’m with my girlfriends. We’re at our favorite bar. What’s not to love?
“Go, Iris! Show us those moves, girl!” Penny cheers, shaking her butt in that tiny, little dress that only she could pull off.
I slide my near-empty glass across the counter. “Why the hell not?!”
I rise from my stool and do a klutzy little two step without venturing too far from the bar. And that’s all the encouragement Jessa and Lexi need. They circle around me, doing some moves of their own. Penny looks on from where she’s mixing drinks for a few of her customers. Our uproarious laughter mingles in the air, rising above the sound of the music. I can’t remember the last time I let loose.
When the song ends, we collapse back into our chairs, breathless and giggling.
Jessa calls to the newly-minted bar manager. “I need another drink, Penn.” She grins as she fans her face with her hands. “But I’m broke. So put it on my sister’s tab.” Jessa cups a hand around her mouth. “She can afford it. I heard she’s married to a billionaire.”
Laughing, Penny immediately goes to work.
Lexi playfully bumps shoulders with her sister and takes a swig from her water bottle.
I’m swivelling back and forth on my stool, jerking my shoulders and humming along to the next song when Lexi glimpses my way. She braces me by the shoulders and pushes me back to observe me. “Something looks different about you tonight…”
I glance down at myself. “Me?” I’m wearing dark jeans and a simple black shirt. “Nothing new over here.”
“Yes, I can’t quite put my finger on it,” my best friend insists.
Jessa brings the straw of her empty cocktail to her lips and gives me a thorough once-over. “Hmm…Yeah. Something does look different. What’d you think, Penny?”
My cousin leans a hip on the counter. “You have a je ne sais quoi going on.” She rolls her wrist in the air as she speaks in a faux-haughty tone.
I feel my cheeks heating up. “What?!”
“I don’t know. You just look really…good.” Lexi continues her examination, once again sweeping me from head-to-toe.
I bite the corner of my lip. “Well, I have been working out.” I shrug modestly.
Over the past few days, Jude and I have been getting together to exercise. Though our goals are very different, I think the mere fact that we’re working side by side has been helping us both stay motivated. I haven’t noticed any visible changes in the mirror yet but I do feel better.
Jessa grins at me. “Well, you’re going to have to spill the secrets of your magical program. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that plump booty of yours. I want mine to look just like that.”
I snicker. “First of all, your petite little body is perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing about it if I were you.” She looks adorable in her cute knee-length dress. “And secondly, we haven’t been doing anything special. Sit ups, leg raises, squats, long walks.”
Before I’ve processed my slip of the tongue, Lexi’s eyebrow cocks up like the hook of a clothes hanger. “We? Who’s we?”
I flinch. Oh, I totally walked into that. “Um, just Jude and me.” I give a casual shrug because no biggie, right…?
Penny holds up a hand. “Wai-wai-wait! Jude and me? Since when have ‘Jude and me’ been taking walks together?” She slides Jessa her fresh drink.
“Yeah, girl. Looks like you withheld a few episodes of ‘Jude and me’ because where we last left off, things were kind of sour between you and the hot roomie.” Jessa bites on her straw.
I purse my lips. “Well, there’s not much to tell…I mean, I’ve been exercising on my own and getting nowhere with it. And he looked like he could use some company during his workouts, too. So…we just started doing it together.”
Lexi leans across the sticky bar toward me, dark wild hair falling over her shoulders. “Is any of that ‘doing it’ taking place between the sheets?” Her eyebrows jump suggestively.
I can just imagine the vodka-cranberry tone of the blush on my face right now. “Gosh, no. None of that. No. It’s just exercising,” I insist, careful to mentally sidestep the memory of the spontaneous genital-rubbing that happened in his bed the other night. It was embarrassingly adolescent.
Jessa slumps against the back of her chair. “Well, that’s a shame.”
“What do you mean, that’s a shame?” I pin her with a look.
She twirls the ice cubes in her glass with her straw. “I just mean, he looked kind of sad that day when he was out there in your backyard. And you, you’re just getting over your divorce. It seems like…maybe there’s an opportunity for more between you.” Her features glint with optimism.
Jessa thinks every man has Prince Charming potential, even when it’s clear to everyone else that he’s nothing but a toad. That’s why I always take her romantic assessments with a grain of salt.
I roll my eyes. “Sheesh, Jessa. You’re such a hopeless romantic. Just because Jude and I are both single doesn’t automatically mean there’s a happy-ever-after in the
