Would I have kissed her if my mother hadn’t interrupted? Hell, would she have kissed me?
I guess I’ll never know.
17
Iris
Well?” My mother asks, spinning the styling chair around. I examine her work in the mirror, my eyes flicking over my made-up face and my freshly-styled up-do. “Say something, baby girl.” She gives my shoulder a little shake, an eager note in her voice.
The highlights were a good decision, I think. My skin appears brighter. It might be the facial treatment. My eyes look sharper, but I’m not sure about the makeup, though.
“Do you think it’s a bit…much?” I ask doubtfully as I focus on the blood red lipstick. “I don’t want to seem like I’m trying too hard.” Makeovers can be so over-the-top sometimes. And I’ve never liked drawing too much attention to myself.
It’s been years since I’ve pampered myself like this. Of course, I’ve come in for a few haircuts, but there are enough months in between each visit that Mom likes to publicly point out my split ends.
And when your mother owns and operates the only full-service beauty salon in town, you really have no excuse to walk around looking raggedy. When I’d called her rambling anxiously about the messy situation with Jude, she’d insisted that I report to her beauty salon pronto. So, that’s how I find myself here at Lucille’s after hours on a Tuesday evening.
“Don’t think of it as a makeover. ‘Makeover’ is such a disempowered, misogynistic word,” my mother says sagely. “You’re a businesswoman. Think of it as a…a re-branding.”
“A re-branding?”
“Yeah, companies do it all the time. Why can’t you?”
I stare at my reflection under the bright salon lights. “I guess I like that way of looking at it.”
When I signed the papers ending my marriage, I made a commitment that I was going to overhaul my life. I’m not really sure I’ve lived up to that promise up until now. This makeover—er, rebranding—is the next logical step.
“And the date?” I meet my mom’s eyes in the mirror. “Do you think I’m jumping into that too fast? I mean, my divorce just got finalized.”
The old Iris wouldn’t have even considered dating at this point. It’s just too soon. But the new Iris nearly got biblical with a professional football player on the living room floor after watching him parade his eight-pack around my house for weeks.
Look—I’m horny, okay?
And it’s messing with my head. Bad. Because under normal circumstances I wouldn’t be lusting all over Jude Kingston. I know better. But the sexual tension between us has been insane since we started working out together.
This is just an itch that needs scratching. A biological need. I’ve got to take care of it and once I do, my brain will go back to normal.
I turned to a dating app—CheekyChat—to find me a potential bed buddy for the night…I’ve got to say I’m still nervous about my decision, but this date is a means for me to mitigate my risk of doing something stupid…like jumping Jude’s bones.
And who knows? I might actually meet a nice guy. Yes, my marriage failed in spectacular fashion but maybe I could still have a great love story. One day.
Just because my own marriage went to shit doesn't mean I have to hate on the institution as a whole. There are good husbands in this world and there are bad husbands. Not all men are dogs. Not all men are Kirk.
There I go, getting way ahead of myself.
“Well…What’s the step after re-branding? Marketing, no?” My mother reasons.
I nod slowly, ‘cause I guess that makes sense. “Dating is like marketing…I like that analogy.”
“Look at this date as marketing. Put yourself out there. See how you feel in your new skin.” She waggles her brows. “And you know what comes after marketing?” Mom gives me a sly little smile and then purses her lips to keep it from growing wider. Oh lord. “…Sales! That’s the fun part.”
I’m not entirely sure my mother should be dispensing dating advice to anyone.
Mom's been married three times.
Mom shops in the teen section at TJ Maxx.
Mom cashed in her 401k for a boob job.
Lucille Merlini is a riot and a half. She’s absolutely gorgeous with her huge green eyes and her thick blonde curls. Growing up with her was wild. After my aunt—Penny’s mom—left her own daughter behind to pursue her dreams of being a big-time Chicago lawyer, it was just Mom and my cousin and me. We all looked out for each other and Mom always made sure there was food on the table and a roof over our heads. But she wasn’t the best at giving motherly guidance. She’s one of those people who had to learn all of life’s lessons the hard way.
Mom was less of a mother, more of a cool older girlfriend. So, our household felt like the Yaya Sisterhood a lot of the time. Life was a constant slumber party. It was fun but sometimes it felt like we were just drifting. We didn’t always have a direction. I was one of those kids who needed stability in order to feel safe and I love my mother but the truth is, I just didn’t get that in my childhood home. I constantly felt lost, excluded. A lot of the time, I lived inside my head and it was lonely there. The fact that I’m an only child didn’t help matters at all.
Mom claimed she didn’t know who my dad was and her fleeting relationships never offered a stable male figure. Maybe that’s why I clung so hard to Kirk when he showed up on the scene, complete with braces and vicious acne in seventh grade gym class. When he first showed interest in me, it felt like something finally clicked into place.
Still, despite all my mother’s shortcomings, she knows me and my moods. Better than almost anyone. “What’s bugging you, baby girl?”
I stare at my upgraded reflection and sigh. “I just feel a
