“I just… It was just supposed to be for fun. Simon is so fucking cute and sexy, and I couldn’t resist. I mean have you seen him? I thought I just wanted to fuck him because I was convinced it would help me get over my crush. I mean, nobody’s ever wanted more so why would Simon? I’ve never been the type that people want to date. I’m too… me.” My voice cracked, and I took a deep breath, trying to put a stopper in my emotions. But it was too late. They’d escaped from the Pandora’s box that was my brain. Connor was just staring at me and nodding.
“It didn’t work though. I mean, Simon’s the most perfect man I’ve ever met. And all I want is for him to see himself the way I see him. I didn’t mean to fall in love with him, but I think it was inevitable really. Now I love him more than I ever thought possible, and he doesn’t even know it. And I just… I don’t know what to do.” The shark-like fears circled faster, ready to strike. “I’m so worried he won’t want me. That I love him, and he doesn’t feel the same. Nobody’s ever wanted me before, so why would Simon?”
Connor was staring at me, wide eyed. I scrubbed my face again. I’d never known him to be this quiet before. Had I really messed up that badly?
“Say something. Please. I know I’ve fucked up, but I need your help. I don’t want to hurt him, but I… I can’t lose him.”
“Do you mean it?” Simon’s voice said from behind me, soft and full of hope. Fear rooted me to the spot. Holy fucking shit. I turned slowly. Simon stood behind me, eyes wide and mouth slightly parted, his pyjamas rumpled. I hadn’t even heard him come out of his room. I thought he’d still be asleep.
“How… how much did you hear?” I asked.
“Every single word.” Simon stepped closer to me, a hand reaching for me. His hazel eyes were filled with warmth, and all my fears melted away. “Did you mean it?”
“Y-yeah. Yeah, I did. I love you, Simon. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Simon said. He was so close I could count every single one of his eyelashes. “I love you too. I love you so fucking much it scares me. I didn’t think you’d ever feel the same way. I’ve had a crush on you for ages, and I thought when we started hooking up it would be enough. But it wasn’t. You’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met. You’re funny and sharp as a whip and sexy as fuck. I never thought you’d want someone like me, but you did. And you make me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt before. You’re incredible, Taylor. I love you.”
I heard my pulse in my ears as his lips met mine. Fireworks exploded in my chest, and all those ridiculous, cheesy clichés I’d always heard about falling in love—and always dismissed as stupid—suddenly felt so right.
Our kiss seemed to last for eternity. But it was also far too short. I whined when he broke away, and Simon chuckled, giving me a quick peck on the lips before pulling me against his chest. I rested my head against him as he wrapped his arms around me.
“Well,” said Connor, and I twisted my head around to look at him. I’d forgotten he was there and had accidentally given him a front row seat to my painful love confession. Not that I thought he’d mind. Connor was a sucker for drama and romance. “That feels like my cue to leave!”
“You don’t have to go,” I said, rotating in Simon’s arms. “Your workshop doesn’t start for hours.”
“True, but as much as I love you, I’m okay without listening to the live porno I think is about to go down. The first time was awkward enough, thanks. I’d rather not have to lie here and try to think unsexy thoughts while you two put on a performance to rival the world’s best porn stars. Do you realise how difficult it is not to get hard when there’re sexy noises coming from the next room? I had to think about your twenty-fifth birthday when you decided to drink an entire bottle of tequila and spent the entire night puking your guts up!”
I laughed, trying not to feel embarrassed about how much Connor had probably heard. It definitely could have been worse though. He grinned, hopped out of bed, and started rooting around for his clothes.
“Just give me ten minutes to get dressed, then you can fuck like bunnies for the rest of the day.”
“We’re not kicking you out,” Simon said, casually dancing around the subject. I knew he was trying to hide his embarrassment. My sweet boy was painfully shy about his body and our sex-life at the best of times, so being told my best friend had heard us was probably akin to the worst humiliation of his life. He was dealing with it very well though. “It’s still raining.”
“But I wanna get laid,” I whined, pretending to pout and attempting to tease a smile out of Simon.
“I’m sure you can wait,” Simon said. “Besides, Steve is still here.”
“Ugh. Fucking Steve!”
“Did someone say my name?” Steve said, emerging from his room, blond hair sticking up around his head and a pair of pyjama bottoms sitting low across his hips. Simon and I froze. Steve looked at us and smiled. “Did you guys have a good night?”
“Yeah,” I said. I knew I should probably step away from Simon, but my whole body had stopped moving. “It was fun.”
“Awesome! I really need to take Olivia to Ruby’s.”
“You should. I think she’d like it.” I wondered if Steve was going
