“Jack seems like a nice guy,” David said. “If you don’t mind me asking, does he have any other children?”
Sarah knew that David was being only curious about a man that his son had enjoyed spending time with, but that didn’t keep her from feeling the pain that was always present when she discussed her husband.
“Kolton, my husband, was an only child,” she said.
“I’m sorry. It’s easy to see how good Jack is with kids. He would have made a great grandfather,” David said.
This was the opportunity for her to tell David about Cody. If she could get through this maybe she would be able to approach the subject of Davey’s donated heart.
Little steps. Just take this little step and everything will be okay.
“He was a great grandfather to our son, Cody. When we lost Cody and Kolton, it was really hard on him,” she said.
“Oh, Sarah, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” David said. He reached out and covered her hand with his. A small gesture but somehow it helped ease the pain that always came when she was forced to talk about the loss she had experienced.
“It’s not something I talk about. It’s hard, you know?” she said. She took a deep breath and forced the air out.
“I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what you must have gone through,” David said as his hand tightened on hers. “How long ago did this happen?”
“Sometimes it feels like it was a long time ago and others it feels like it was just yesterday, but it was actually just over three years ago January,” she said. Would the time ring a bell with him? Was there a possibility that he would put things together without her having to tell him?
“There was an accident, a car accident,” she continued. Just that one statement drained her. There was a reason she didn’t discuss this with other people. It was still too raw. She wondered if she would ever be able to speak about her son and husband without feeling that way. Her mother had wanted her to go to a counselor, but she hadn’t been able to make herself go even after her mother had made an appointment for her.
“I’m sorry, Sarah. And I’ve sat here telling you how hard it is to live with the emotional rollercoaster of waiting for a heart donor,” David said before he withdrew his hand from hers.
She knew David was feeling uncomfortable now, which was another reason for not discussing the loss of her family with others. The conversation always became awkward later.
“If you ever need to talk, just let me know. I can be a good listener,” he said, then gave her a small smile before he returned his attention to the computer screen and she knew her chance to tell him everything she needed to was gone.
CHAPTER THREE
DAVID WAS UP early Saturday morning at his son’s demand. Davey had been so excited the night before when he learned that they would be going back to see his friend, Jack, that he hadn’t been able to sleep. He had gone to bed talking about all the horses he was sure he would get to see the next day, surprising David with all the names of the horses that he remembered.
If David had had any sense he would have waited until that morning to tell his son. Then he would have gotten a good night’s sleep. Marking it down as just another lesson learned in the single parent department, he made himself climb out of bed.
There was a slight nervousness in the middle of his stomach as he made breakfast for his son. Was it the excitement of starting something new and spending time around the horses or was it fear of looking a fool in front of Sarah that was making his stomach feel like it was doing summersaults? She made it look so easy when she was up on a horse but with his luck he’d fall off the minute he climbed up on one which would most definitely injure his manly pride along with his backside.
And then there was that strange attraction he felt while watching this new Sarah around the horses, an attraction that shouldn’t have been there. They had taken their relationship out of the work environment and with Sarah that felt a little dangerous now. He had no business thinking of Sarah as anything other than a colleague when his life was already full with the new fellowship and taking care of his son. Any kind of relationship other than friendship with Sarah was a complication that he didn’t need in his life. His first priority would always be taking care of Davey. Just the time and planning it took to make sure that all his medications were taken on time and all his follow-up appointments were made was a lot more than anyone who hadn’t lived with a child with a heart defect would understand. Lisa certainly had never understood.
But wouldn’t Sarah?
He picked up the phone to cancel his lesson then looked over to where his son was struggling to get his new cowboy boots on and cancelled the call. He couldn’t disappoint Davey. He was reminded of his promise to the little boy when he had lain surrounded by tubes and monitors that the two of them would have a life full of adventure. Even now he had no idea what the future held for his son. He had seen too much already while working with the young transplant patients at the hospital to not know that there was always a chance that Davey could go into rejection or that his new heart could go into heart
