“Oh, okay,” she said. He could tell she was disappointed, though he wasn’t sure why.
“I thought maybe you’d be interested. You know, because of Davey,” she said. She was back to looking past him again. “Do you ever wonder about the donor?”
“I do, sometimes. It’s strange. I mean at first I was really busy taking care of Davey, but it was still there in the back of my mind. It’s almost like a survivor’s guilt. You know when you get a transplant of any kind, unless it’s a living transplant of course, that someone lost someone that they loved very much and because of their loss, now someone that you love very much has a chance at life.” Just talking about receiving the gift of donation, the gift of another one’s child, tore at his heart. How had Sarah managed to live through losing her son as well as her husband?
“I remember one of those first nights after Davey’s transplant I was just watching him sleep, just watching how much more comfortable he breathed and marveling at how fast his pale gray cheeks had turned a healthy pink after his surgery. It must have been about two or three days post-op and I couldn’t help wondering if somewhere there was another family standing over a casket where their child now lay,” he said. He looked up and saw the color blanch from Sarah’s face.
“I’m sorry. I know that must sound a bit morbid,” he said, relieved when he saw that the color was returning to her face.
“No. I appreciate you sharing that with me,” she said, though he noticed the excitement she had shown for the next day seemed to have faded. “Have you ever thought of contacting them?”
He thought for a minute about those first few days and of the guilt he had felt. Had he ever considered contacting his son’s donor’s family? “No, I guess I always figured that if the donor wanted to contact me I would hear from them. I wouldn’t want to cause them any more pain. I really haven’t given it as much thought as I should have, I guess.”
“Maybe they thought the same way you did,” she said her voice a soft whisper across the table.
His phone beeped an alarm and after giving Sarah an apologetic shrug, he made his evening call to Davey. As always his son’s happy voice made him feel better and calmed the fears that he always suffered from when he was away from his son. He could be accused of not thinking anyone could care for his son as well as he could and he wouldn’t argue with that. He’d spent hours learning the best way to give Davey his medications, how to tell when he wasn’t feeling well, what to look for if he ever started going into heart rejection. But after saying goodbye three times and then having a short conversation with Ms. Duggar who assured him that Davey’s voice was not scratchy sounding just tired from playing rodeo that day, he had ended the call feeling satisfied.
He noticed that the crowd had been clearing out as he’d been on the phone and Sarah was alone, lost in her own thoughts now.
“I guess we better leave before they shut the doors on us,” he said as the wait staff started cleaning off their table. Then he added, “What about tomorrow after the forums we take in some of the sights? I’ve never been to Dallas.”
He didn’t want the evening to end while Sarah appeared so unhappy.
“I was thinking about going over to Fort Worth, it’s only a half hour away. The weather is supposed to be nice and they have a beautiful park that’s made up of water gardens. I went there with a group from school one day,” she said, smiling now presumably from an old memory. And if a walk in a park was what would keep that smile on her face, a walk in the park was what they would do.
“I think you’ll like it and if we have time we could visit the stockyards. It’s more of a tourist place now, but it does have a very colorful history.”
“Then it’s a date. I mean—” He stumbled over the words. “It’s a plan.”
Sarah was next to David as they walked to their rooms. For weeks, she’d wanted to know how David would feel about learning that the donation of Davey’s heart could have come from her son, Cody, and even after their conversation tonight she had no idea how he would take the news. Would he be angry that she hadn’t told him earlier? She knew that was a possibility that he could feel that she was being untruthful by holding back the information she had. She’d have to explain to him that it had taken time for her to come to terms with the possibility herself. If anyone would understand the mixed feelings she felt, he would. He’d admitted himself that he wasn’t comfortable trying to approach the donor’s family.
“Are you okay?” David asked her as they stopped at her door.
“I’m fine. It’s been a long day,” she said as she inserted her key card and opened the door to her room. “I’ll see you at noon? Downstairs after the forums?”
“That sounds great,” he said as he looked up and then down the hall. “I’ll wait for you to lock the door.”
“Okay, good night,” she said, then shut the door and latched it.
It had been a long time since someone had worried about her safety, not that she didn’t feel safe when Jack was around. The man had a shotgun that could take down any rattlesnake or intruder. And it wasn’t as if she couldn’t take care of herself—Jack wasn’t the only one who knew how to shoot that shotgun. But it was kind of nice to have someone care about her.
David was that kind
