This version of Levi provoked an even deeper longing in me than his naked body did. And a deeper irritation. Most of the world never got past the embodiment of House Head or the charming social version. They never saw behind the title, but I did, and this vulnerable Levi, with dark scruff shadowing his jaw and a softness to the line of his shoulders, had mattered to me. So why wasn’t the reverse true? Why hadn’t he listened when I said that involving the Queen wasn’t smart? Aside from his token protest, he’d had no problem using me to get what he wanted.
To be fair to Veronica, she barely paid Levi any attention, other than to hand him a couple of colored files. Whatever protective urges she felt for him, they weren’t sexual.
“Are we debriefing or not?” I said.
Levi motioned me into his office. “Hold my calls,” he tossed off over his shoulder. “Sit,” he said. “You look like you need a drink.”
“Always.” I nodded at the half-empty tumbler on his desk. “I see I have some catching up to do.” I sank onto the sofa next to the wood burning fireplace, stretching out my legs to give a drowsy Mrs. Hudson more lap real estate.
Give Levi his due: he didn’t stint on the booze. Out came the premium bottle of Jack Daniel’s Limited Edition Number 27 Gold. He poured a splash into a second tumbler and handed it to me.
The alcohol slid down my throat like ambrosia, much like Rafael’s magic had. I coughed, suddenly choking on the whiskey. “Went down the wrong way,” I sputtered. Composing myself, I found my happy self-righteous place. “You must be pleased with yourself.”
“You never mentioned that the Queen knew about the German.” He sat in his desk chair.
“That’s not the point. I asked you not to bring her into this.”
“I’m sorry it made you uncomfortable but we’re in a ‘greater good’ situation. You of all people, as a Jezebel, should know that.”
“For fuck’s sake, I agreed to help you, didn’t I?”
Levi took a sip of his drink. “Then why are you so angry?”
Because you didn’t put me first. Because after all we’ve become to each other and all we’ve been through, I thought that meant more to you than it did. I’m your present and Mayan is your past. But somehow all I am is just another weapon in your arsenal.
“The Queen now knows that a Van Gogh can ward me up,” I said. “I’d rather she didn’t.”
“She could have found that out a number of ways,” he replied.
For a smart man, he was incredibly obtuse.
“You’re right. Let me give you the rundown on what I learned about Mayan.” I updated him as succinctly as possible, though truthfully, there wasn’t much to tell.
“Have you had a chance to learn anything more about your dad’s book?”
“Not really. Is that it?”
Levi tapped his finger against his glass. “Do you know why I held off threatening the Queen for as long as I did?”
“Because you didn’t think of it sooner?”
“Because you weren’t there yet. I wasn’t going to play that card until I had you next to me and we could both flee if necessary.”
“No person left behind, huh? Smart team protocol.”
“Fuck team protocol. I wasn’t leaving you.”
“Oh,” I said faintly.
Over the mantel hung a large photograph of a road running through a green landscape. The ground rose up in the center of the photo to split in two, effectively turning the road into a half-open zipper. The photographer had taken an item rendered almost invisible through familiarity and shown that through his lens, it contained wonder and surprise, not just utility.
I looked back at Levi and pressed my hands to my cheeks.
“You weren’t the only one who got life lessons from their father,” Levi said. “I learned never to reveal anything that mattered.”
My heart lodged in my chest, beating erratically. I wished I could run my fingers around the edges of our relationship and understand its true shape. There were too many facets to us, and just as with a diamond, more facets didn’t mean more brilliance or more sparkle. As my father had said, “If you want to spend the extra money, spend it on clarity.”
“I met him once, you know?” Levi said. “Your dad. Back when he still worked for Isaac. I was about ten and Adam had come over for a meeting. He showed me this magic trick with a coin he put in my hand except when I opened it, the coin was gone.”
“I remember that one. It was on the table in front of him and you never noticed. Two basic tenets of a con. Misdirect and hide the con in plain sight.” A wistful ache throbbed behind my ribs.
“He gave me the coin to practice with. I said that my dad didn’t like magic, and he laughed saying that Isaac had no problem with it when it suited him. Then he pressed the coin into my hand and told me I could practice in secret.”
“Did you?” I said.
Levi smiled. “No. I had a very short attention span back then. But I didn’t want to hurt his feelings so I promised to hide it in my special hiding place and practice every day.”
“That’s cute.”
Levi tilted his head, pensive. “Your dad gave me a magic trick to dazzle and entertain. Mine…”
I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head on his chest, feeling his heart beat under my cheek. I settled for cuddling the puppy. Mrs. Hudson resettled herself without waking up. “Isaac played soccer with you and he’s the reason you’re here, guiding all of us. When it feels too dark, sometimes the only thing you can do is hold tight to those happy times because they still count.” I paused. “Unless your mom has a car you can steal and crash. Then you’ve got options.”
He sighed. “She doesn’t drive.”
“Sorry, dude. You’re shit out of luck. Good memories it is.
