She dozed on and off for the next couple of hours, waking time and again. Each time, Jane was there providing sips of water and bits of broth. Her father came as well. Apparently, he had been on the property, waiting to see if there was any change. Peggy also came to sit with her.
But where was Finlay? Kyla asked a couple of times and just received vague answers as those with her changed the subject. Was he continuing on with his regular work? She knew how much he cared about his duties, but he had been gone for some time now.
She longed for him to return. She knew, deep in her heart, how much she needed him. Before, she had thought she could live with him in mutual companionship. Now that she knew what love truly felt like, it could never be the case. She needed him to love her as she loved him. She could not live with anything less.
Kyla had planned to ask him what his feelings were toward her but perhaps… perhaps she had her answer now. If he could not be here with her, what did that say? She didn’t want to feel that she should be the priority above all else, but if it were the other way around nothing and no one could ever force her to leave his side. Why should it be any different this way?
She also realized with a pang in her chest that it had been three months since the marriage. She had promised Finlay she would stay that length of time to try living with him, with the McDougalls.
Now she had a decision to make.
Kyla lay there, the thoughts running through her mind. How much simpler it would be if she returned back to the MacTavishes with her father. She could take over running things for him, and Rory could do whatever it was that Rory chose to do. She could prevent situations like yesterday—or the day before, or the day before that, whenever it had been—and create peace as well as a better system of management.
Was peace worth giving up her love for Finlay? It was, she thought, forcing herself to prevent any tears from falling down her face, if he didn’t feel the same.
Her emotions now in tangles, when her father returned to her side in her room, she told him her thoughts.
“I want to go home with you,” she announced.
He looked at her, incredulous.
“But you’re married.”
“I know. I shall remain married. But I feel it would be best I return with you and begin to manage everything once again.”
Niall narrowed his eyes at her, apparently considering the options.
“Manage the holdings when you’re well, you mean.”
“Aye.”
“And why don’t you want to stay with your husband?” He tilted his head, confusion now reigning.
“I want him to love me. If he’s not here, well then….”
Niall opened his mouth as if he were about to say something, but then closed it again. Instead he slowly began to nod his head.
“If that is what you truly want, daughter,” he said with a sigh. “When do you want to leave?”
“As soon as we can.”
Niall looked at her. “Are you well enough to ride?”
“I think so. I’m weak, but if I ride with you—”
Rory suddenly burst through the door.
“Kyla, you’re awake!” he enveloped her in a hug.
“Rory, I didna know you were here as well.”
“I was, and then Fi—”
“Rory,” Niall cut him off, and Kyla meant to ask Rory what he had been about to say, but then she began to follow her father’s words. Her head was still fuzzy and the world around her somewhat hazy. “Kyla has decided to return home with us to manage the clan. It will allow you the freedom to do as you please and I can retire from the daily operations. It seems she finds her husband’s absence to be unforgivable, which is a sentiment I agree with.”
She saw him give Rory a look that she wasn’t sure how to interpret.
“I—I suppose.”
Rory looked like he was struggling to know what to say—odd for him.
Niall resolved his dilemma by asking, “Do you think you can ride with Kyla, support her back home?”
“Aye. But—”
“We’ll prepare to leave immediately then.”
Niall ushered in one of the women who had come to help the McDougalls while Kyla was injured. She looked perplexed as she followed Kyla’s directions to gather a few small belongings. They would later send for the remainder of her clothing. The woman washed Kyla as best she could before helping to dress her in a simple plaid. Finally, Niall and Rory returned from the corridor, Rory picking up his sister, despite her protests. Together they made their way downstairs. Only Jane was in the hall when they passed through to the door. She stood suddenly when they entered, her face a mass of confusion.
“Kyla is coming home,” Niall said firmly as he bid Rory to take her outside and mount a horse, “for good.”
“What are you on about? She is home,” Kyla heard Jane exclaim as Rory led her out the door, causing tears to well in her eyes.
“She gave him the three months he requested and now she wants to come home. I believe that was more than fair. I dinna believe it should matter what he has to say.”
“I’m sure Finlay will have something to say about this. You canna force her to go, Niall, she is Finlay’s wife now and he should, at the very least, have the chance to speak with her. Let me go find him—or Duncan.”
“We must leave now. As you say, it is late. Goodnight, Jane.”
“Night has fallen. Surely you can all stay until the morning, at the very least?”
But the door slammed at her words, the night gone with it.
“I never said goodbye to her, Rory,” Kyla said, tugging at her brother’s arm to be put down. “Take me back in, I—”
“No,” Niall said, having caught up to the them that moment.
