I gave my heart to Scottie and there is now a gaping hole where it used to be. Can people survive without a heart? I’m not convinced. It took forty years for us to find him. He taught me to trust again; he taught me that not every man is a monster. But most of all he taught me to trust myself.
I’ll pack my few belongings and leave. How can I stay in a forest that took you from me? Being reminded of you at every turn? I wouldn’t survive it.
The door opens and Tom reappears. “We have to leave.” He touches my shoulder. “I don’t want to get caught at the cabin by the fire inspector.”
“What do you mean, leave? I don’t understand. You want to go back? Why?”
“I have to find something, anything, to make sense out of all this.”
I look up at Tom. He’s hurting too. It’s hard to see the sadness in his face. I forgot all about him being Scottie’s best friend. They say sharing one’s grief makes bearing it easier.
It’s a lie.
Chapter Eight
Elise: 4 March 2017, Early Morning, Port Somers
I’m so pleased Sky noticed that Lilly wasn’t coping and called a crisis meeting so we could all block her.
Way back when we left Auckland after Horace’s funeral, we’d decided we’ll never run away again, and we won’t run now. Luke and Mikey want to find the culprits, Amadeus wants to knock the life out of the people who set the fire, Maddie and Ama want to stay at Wright’s Homestead, and I don’t want to leave the few friends I made at the gallery.
More than anything, though, Sky is convinced the arson is linked to our past. After all the trouble we’ve been through with the Gateway community, we owe it to Scott to help find out what happened.
I smile at Tom. “I’m coming.”
He reaches for my hand. “Hurry, work is calling.”
Work? What is he talking about? He caught my attention. I take his hand and allow him to pull me up. A comfortable silence spreads between us as we take Prince and get into the car.
“What work?”
“Would you mind waiting until we are at Scott’s place?”
Would I mind? I don’t care. I left a big part of me behind in that fire yesterday. Everything else is just a mindless passing of time and waiting for the moment when what’s left of my heart stops beating.
“Oh, for goodness’ sake. I just about had enough of your whining.”
The angry force of the voice makes me jump. Who said that? I glance at Tom as he starts the engine. No, it wasn’t him.
“Sort this bloody mess out or I will and you might not like the result.”
Okay, this is definitely coming from the inside. What bloody mess are you referring to, Amadeus?
I whisper, but that is ridiculous. The tribe can talk as loud as they choose and nobody on the outside would be the wiser. I feel bad for not showing up when Tom and Lilly arrived at the burning cabin. I should have coped. We had come along so well. Even knowing that everyone dissociates when disaster strikes doesn’t make me feel better.
“Don’t give yourself a hard time. It’s not important how often you fall as long as you pick yourself up again. Even if it takes time and a lot of effort.”
As so often, Sky is finding the right words to lift me up.
“Lilly!”
I startle and look up. “It’s Elise, actually. Don’t shout at me. You frightened me.”
“You were far away with your thoughts. We arrived a few minutes ago at Scott’s place and you wouldn’t respond to my questions.”
The harsh lines in his face tell me he’s stressed too and running on a short fuse.
“Sorry. I meant no disrespect, I… it’s just hard.”
“I know.” Dear, dear Tom. I know only too well.
He opens his side of the car. “Come.”
I follow him up to the charred remains of the cabin. It’s a hard place to be with all the memories of the wonderful moments Scottie and I had in this house. Now it’s nothing but ash.
“You said we have work to do? What do you mean?” Prince, sitting at my side, begins quietly howling and whining in a heart-wrenching outpouring of grief. I bend down to him and put my arms around his neck.
“It’s just us left, baby.” I swear he understands because he lets his head hang and looks at me with his sad eyes.
“You can’t kill yourself. I need your help to find out what happened to Scott. I can’t watch over you day and night, so I need you to promise me. You owe it to Scott.”
Tom towers over me, his lined forehead pulled into a deep frown. Wow. I did not expect that kind of speech. Am I suicidal? Not at the moment. I’m devastated but I would never kill myself. It’s not just me anymore; there is the Tribe to think of too.
I’m not sure whether I like the bossy side of Tom. He always used to blend in with the wallpaper so to speak, unassuming and undemanding. I’ll have to get used to this new version.
“As it happens, I don’t want to kill myself. But if you don’t tell me why we are here, I might look favorably at killing you.”
“Listen! There is something not right about this fire. We have to get to the bottom of it. I know Scott always had spare petrol in his shed in case his truck runs empty. But three cans?”
It’s as if someone pulled back a curtain, that’s
