“I never met a woman as strong as you are.”
“Now you exaggerate. I’m not that strong unless you think of Luke, but he no longer comes out.”
“No, I’m not exaggerating. I never say things that aren’t true.”
Hm, never? Where is he going with this?
“I’ve finished my toast.” Rena put the last bit of her toast down into her mouth. “May I take Prince outside?” She wiggles impatiently in her chair.
“But no climbing up the big tree without me or dad. It’s too dangerous.”
I like the sound of mum and dad. I can’t say it often enough. The adoption papers came through last Friday, hand-delivered by the social worker we’d met during the Gateway raid. It’s official. We are Rena’s parents. It wasn’t an easy process. My mental health records were a huge obstacle. But with high-ranking police officers giving me glowing character references, we finally prevailed.
There is no end to our luck.
She jumps off her chair and races Prince to the back door.
Scott waits until Rena is outside. He takes my hand and smiles.
“Ever since I saw you for the first time, coming out the homestead, with eyes that wanted to stab me, and the chimney behind you smoking like hell, I fell in love with you. You have surprised me. Each day, with every word and every action.”
His smile from a minute ago has changed places with a serious expression.
I think I prefer the smile. Where is he going with this?
“Is this the moment where we compliment each other profusely? If so, you need to give me some airspace too.”
“No, now you’re silly. You know exactly what I’m trying to do.”
“Me? No. Isn’t this what they do in group therapy, where people go around and tell each other how grateful they are for the other person’s presence and contribution? At least that’s how it was in some of the programs they forced me to attend.”
“Lillybeth, can you stop for once. I’m trying to propose to you and you’re making it very difficult for me.”
“Oh. You want to propose to me?”
Of course, I knew that was going to happen sometime. I just didn’t know the time is now. And I can’t wait to hear it, all of it. Still, there is a part of me that’s afraid to hear what he’ll say. What if I believe all the good stuff? What if it’ll get taken away in the future when we fight and drift apart? What if he leaves me because I’m too difficult to live with? I wouldn’t survive it.
“Yes, is that so unusual?”
He sounds very patient. Not irritated at all about my sidestepping. The man is a saint. He deserves better than me.
“Why me? I’m a broken vase, stuck together with some elephant glue, but bound to fall apart by the first test of courage. You never know what I’m going to do next, I don’t even know. Will I jump at you or turn into a proverbial infant. Trust me, I have it from a reliable source, marriage to me is difficult and no fun at all.”
“I don’t want to know who that reliable source is. From the very first day, you have shown courage beyond anything I’ve ever seen.”
“The first day? I was afraid like hell.”
“And still you took your life into your hands and fought for your freedom like you fought Sebastian and Raymond Feldman. You never hesitated for a minute to stand up in court and say, ‘This is who I am’, knowing very well that there would be a large group of people not believing you and putting you down. You went to Gateway and released the children. Do I need to say more?”
“Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. If my memory serves me right, you helped me. I wasn’t alone. Anyone would have done that.”
“No, I’m not. Accept what you did was extraordinary. There were plenty of adults inside and outside the Gateway community who were uncomfortable with what went on, and still, none of them took any actions.”
There is no arguing with Scott when he sits on his high horse determined to be right.
“Hm, I guess you love me then? I guess love is making you blind.”
“When I look into your eyes, I feel so close to you. You encourage me to be a better man. With you on my side, I feel whole and strong enough to fight dragons.”
He’s standing now and pulling me up from my chair.
“Stop joking around. You’ve seen my wounds, seen how my wife’s death destroyed my soul to an extent I never thought possible. And yet it was you who helped me to re-discover myself among that debris of my life. Through the example you set, through your patience, and your lack of expectation you took me along on this ride at my own pace. You allowed me to get it right this time around.”
“Oh Scott, with all the good things you say about me, I feel like crawling under my bed. It’s very hard for me to hear.”
“I’m so sorry, my darling. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. I thought proposing would be easy because everything with you is such an easy task. With you on my side, we can conquer the world.”
He pulled me to him.
“Will you marry me?”
“Of course I’ll marry you. All the traits you say I possess, none of them were visible until I broke free from Horace and came to this place. I felt bashful that you see all these things in me. In my eyes, I am in many ways a broken person. Only since I wasn’t alone anymore, since you were at my side, have I found the courage to push for what I believe is right.”
He laughs and I rest my head on
