(Lal Singh is announced.)
RANI: (In greeting.) Sat-Sri-akal, Raja Sahib. Bow to your elders, my boy.
DALIP: (Drawing back.) No.
LAL SINGH: What’s the matter, your Highness?
(Goes towards Dalip, who recoils.)
You don’t want my blessings?
(Softly.)
What’s the trouble, my lad?
DALIP: Go away! I don’t like you.
RANI: (Sharply.) What! What sort of a behaviour is this? (She goes over to him, but he runs to the other side.)
Come here.
DALIP: Mai, he’s a traitor.
LAL SINGH: Your Highness, what’s this silly talk? You don’t believe all this nonsense?
RANI: Naughty boy. I think it’s past his bed-time. I’ll call Baba. Let’s go away, Raja Sahib. I am sorry for this …
DALIP: Why, Mai? He’s a traitor.
LAL SINGH: Again the same silly thing. What do you mean, child?
DALIP: What happened at Sobraon, Mai?
LAL SINGH: (Firmly.) What happened at Sobraon, sir?
RANI: I think this has gone far enough.
LAL SINGH: No, I want to know. Who’s been talking to this boy?
RANI: Raja Sahib, he’s tired. Let’s stop this nonsense. We must find who’s been filling the boy’s ears …
LAL SINGH: The Company Angrez has been spending a lot of time with him.
DALIP: No. It’s not the Resident Sahib.
(Knocking. Royal ADC enters, and delivers a message to Lal Singh.)
ADC: Hazur!
LAL SINGH: Speak of the devil. The Resident Sahib awaits our pleasure on an urgent development in the town.
RANI: (To the ADC.) Send him in.
LAL SINGH: Here?
RANI: Why not? (To the ADC.)
Go. (She whispers something in Lal Singh’s ear, then goes to the boy who is near the balcony.)
My boy, your friend, the Resident Sahib, will soon be up here. Ask him to wait. We will be back in a minute.
(They go and hide behind the curtain. Henry Lawrence enters with the ADC ahead of him. The ADC salutes. Not finding anyone, he salutes again, clicking his heels. Dalip peeps in.)
DALIP: (To the ADC.) You may go. The others will soon be here.
(Pause.)
LAWRENCE: (Bows, oriental fashion) The Governor-General’s Agent presents greetings to His Highness.
(Dalip nods.)
I came to see your mother and the Wazir, your Highness.
DALIP: His Highness, the Maharaja of the Punjab, Peshawar, Jammu and Multan presents his salaams to the Resident Sahib. The Rani Sahiba and the Wazir Sahib will be here shortly.
LAWRENCE: (Goes to him affectionately.) So young man, what keeps you up so late? I’m told you’re usually in bed by now.
DALIP: (Enthusiastically.) Larins, I shot five perfect ones today.
(Whispers something in Lawrence’s ear. Lawrence moves towards the curtain.)
LAWRENCE: Bravo! You’re going to be a great shot!
DALIP: Oh, but not as good as you. You’re perfect, Larins. When are we going on shikar?
(Lawrence winks at Dalip. Then points to the right end of the curtain Dalip shakes his head and points to the left.)
DALIP: Larins, do you know the way to heaven?
LAWRENCE: No. What is it?
DALIP: I know. Truthfulness.
(Lawrence stands motionless before the curtain.)
LAWRENCE: Someone is not going to heaven. ‘How now? a rat? Dead for a ducat, dead!’
(Lifts his foot, and gives a huge kick to the left end of the curtain. The response is immediate.)
LAL SINGH: (A yell of pain.) Hai!
(Comes out from behind the curtain, holding his leg. Rani is also revealed. Exit Dalip.)
LAWRENCE: Sorry, Raja Sahib. I had no idea you were back here. I was just trying to kill a … a … a … rat.
RANI: A rat?
LAWRENCE: Yes.
RANI: (Sarcastically.) The Angrez has a funny manner of killing rats.
LAWRENCE: We always kill them this way in England.
RANI: (Angrily.) In future, you might care to leave the palace rats to the palace cats. The Treaty gives the Agent no jurisdiction to act within the palace.
LAWRENCE: Yes, Rani Sahiba.
RANI: State your business, please.
LAWRENCE: (Bowing in proper fashion.) The Governor-General’s Agent presents salutations to the esteemed Queen Mother and Regent, and his Lordship, the Wazir of the Darbar.
RANI: (Coldly.) The Queen Mother’s salaams to the Resident Sahib.
LAL SINGH: (Still smarting from the kick on his shin.) The Wazir’s salaams to the Resident Sahib.
LAWRENCE: Please accept the Governor-General’s greetings on this auspicious day.
(Hands a document to Lal Singh.)
RANI: (Ironically.) We are touched by the Angrez Government’s gesture.
LAWRENCE: (Brushing aside the irony.) It isn’t every day that we share in the glory of the Lion of the Punjab.
(To Lal Singh, who appears to be making an effort over the document.)
May I read it, sir?
LAL SINGH: That won’t be necessary.
LAWRENCE: Perhaps, if your Excellency turned it upside down, it would be easier …
RANI: Your sarcasm is lost, Resident Sahib.
LAWRENCE: We beg a hundred pardons.
RANI: Begging comes easy to the Angrez.
LAWRENCE: Begging is the only course before a beautiful woman.
RANI: (Ruffled, but quickly recovering.) False chivalry doesn’t win laurels in our country.
LAWRENCE: What about true chivalry?
RANI: Exists only among horses.
LAWRENCE: The Rani doesn’t do justice to men.
RANI: There are men and men.
LAWRENCE: (Laughs.) No. There are men and women.
RANI: (Frustrated.) Oh … to have such thick-headed Residents is surely the fate of the most unfortunate among God’s creatures.
LAWRENCE: The unfortunate creatures have the sympathy of the Resident.
RANI: Before the Resident becomes too generous will he be pleased to state his business?
LAWRENCE: He will be honoured. (Suddenly in changed tone.)
I came to inform you of two things. The Khalsa at Bannu led by the English officers has isolated the difficult tribes, and things are on the way to normalcy on the Frontier.
RANI: (Coldly.) Our congratulations!
LAWRENCE: (Exaggeratedly.) Thank you.
RANI: What else?
LAWRENCE: A most unfortunate incident has just occurred near the Shah’ alami Gate. Please accept my regrets and those of the entire English establishment at Lahore.
RANI: (Urgently.) What’s happened?
LAWRENCE: (Uncomfortably.) A small detachment of English soldiers was crossing the Gate towards the bazaar, when
