(Shouts: ‘Larins Sahib zindabad.’)
We want to begin by listening to you, honoured citizens, rather than by ordering you about like ‘Lord Sahibs.’ We want to build canals, bridges, roads. We want to ensure as much justice as possible to each citizen. We want to prevent the soldiers from interfering in your everyday affairs.
(Shouts of approval from the crowd: ‘Larins Sahib zindabad’; ‘Angrez Badshah zindabad.’ Suddenly the sounds of musket shots Confusion.)
EDWARDES: I think it’s coming from that side.
SHER SINGH: Larins Sahib, are you hurt?
LAWRENCE: Just a little. We’d better go.
ABBOT: My God! And quickly. That one just nicked my hand.
LAWRENCE: Is anyone hurt? Are you hurt, Abbot?
EDWARDES: I beg you to get away from the spot, sir.
(More shots, confused sounds.)
ABBOT: I was against coming here at all.
LUMSDEN: It’s obviously a conspiracy. Let’s give them an English volley.
LAWRENCE: No.
LUMSDEN: (Muttering.) I’d like to butcher the whole lot of them.
ABBOT: Let’s teach the niggers a lesson.
LUMSDEN: Burn the damn street! That’s what they deserve …
ABBOT: Filthy heathens!
EDWARDES: The cheek! We came to apologize, and they take advantage of us.
ABBOT: This is what we get for treating the natives differently. We’ve made asses of ourselves.
SHER SINGH: Shut up, all of you. Larins Sahib is hurt.
(To Edwardes.) Help me with his arm. Take him to the Residency. All of you go quickly. I’ll stay and try to find out who’s behind this.
(Exeunt all Englishmen. Tej Singh and Lal Singh enter from the shadows.)
TEJ SINGH: (Hidden by shadow of wall.) Psst Attari! Psst Attari!
(Sher Singh turns round, his hand on his sword.)
LAL SINGH: (Coming out.) Sat-sri-akal, Sardar Sahib.
SHER SINGH: Sat-sri-akal. What are you doing here, Raja Sahib?
LAL SINGH: (Ironically.) An honour to meet you, Sardar Sahib. Since you became such an important man, little people like us rarely have the pleasure.
SHER SINGH: It isn’t every day that we meet a traitor turned Wazir.
LAL SINGH: On the contrary, it is a rare sight to see a full fledged stooge of the English.
SHER SINGH: An honest man’s a humbler being than a Wazir who betrays his army and his people.
TEJ SINGH: (Roaring.) Oi! Angrezi chamcha, be polite to the Wazir.
SHER SINGH: Speak, what do you want? I’m in a hurry.
TEJ SINGH: The boy’s in a hurry. We fought beside your uncle, Sham Singh. Learn to respect your elders.
SHER SINGH: (Aroused.) Sham Singh was the only hero among cowards and traitors. Don’t take his name—you’ll only defile it.
TEJ SINGH: I’ll break your head in two, you …
LAL SINGH: (To Tej Singh.) Shut up, you son of a pig.
(Appeasingly to Sher Singh.)
Now, now, Sardar Sahib, tell us what’s it like being with the Angrez?
(Confidentially.)
Is it true, they don’t bathe?
SHER SINGH: Is this what you wanted to discuss?
LAL SINGH: No, Sher.
(Going up to him and putting his arm around him patronizingly.)
Now Sher, we’ve come to you with a proposal. Do you want to remain a slave of the Angrez, or would you like to work for the glory of the Khalsa and the greatness of your land?
SHER SINGH: With traitors?
LAL SINGH: Come now, Sher. Let’s forget the past, and …
SHER SINGH: (Interrupting.) Speak, what do you really want from me?
LAL SINGH: My friend, we want the Koh-i-noor, which the Rani has given to the Resident.
SHER SINGH: What makes you think the Resident has got it?
LAL SINGH: I know everything.
SHER SINGH: Why do you want it?
TEJ SINGH: (Naïvely.) So we can sell it to Dost Mohamad.
LAL SINGH: Shut up, you son of an owl. Let me do the talking.
(To Sher Singh.) No, my dear friend. It’s for the good of the land. I need the diamond to show the Darbar what kind of Queen they have—she’s selling our country to the Angrez swine.
SHER SINGH: A traitor is hardly in a position to judge others.
(Pause.)
You dogs, don’t you think I know our Rani? Whatever the world may say, whatever her weaknesses, she’s the only Rani we have, and her son the only Maharaja. And the Punjab hasn’t a better friend than she. Besides, we need her son to keep the kingdom together. So traitors, it’s no use trying …
LAL SINGH: (Interrupting.) It may be worth your while.
SHER SINGH: It can’t be worth my while.
LAL SINGH: Even if you could be the next Wazir.
TEJ SINGH: (Naïvely.) I thought I was going to be the Wazir.
LAL SINGH: Shut up, you village idiot.
SHER SINGH: Even if you offered me the throne, no.
TEJ SINGH: The throne is reserved for the Raja Sahib.
LAL SINGH: Shut up!
SHER SINGH: Good day, traitors.
LAL SINGH: Wait! (Softly.)
You know I command an ear in Calcutta.
SHER SINGH: With your Curries and Shurries who made you the Wazir.
LAL SINGH: It may be prudent for the Resident to turn over the jewel.
SHER SINGH: Now it’s blackmail.
LAL SINGH: Well, ah, I don’t think Calcutta will look too kindly on a Resident accepting such expensive gifts.
SHER SINGH: If you want to blackmail him, speak to the Resident yourself. Traitors, I have work to do!
Act Two Scene 3
The Residency, an hour later. Lawrence is sitting on a divan, smoking a hookah. His left arm is heavily bandaged. Enter Rani and Dalip.
RANI: (Admonishingly.) What has the Resident done to himself? Didn’t I warn him not to be a hero?
LAWRENCE: (Smiling.) ‘Heroes are foolhardy,’ said the lion.
RANI: ‘Fools are also foolhardy,’ replied the crow.
LAWRENCE: ‘Fools have a heart,’ said the lion.
RANI: ‘The wise have a head,’ said the crow.
DALIP: (Impatiently.) Larins, why didn’t you shoot them? With your aim, you would have got them easily.
LAWRENCE: No, my boy. I didn’t know who was shooting.
(Pause.)
Rani Sahiba, where were you and His Highness when this happened?
RANI: Why, in the palace, of course. You don’t think that we were shooting, do you?
LAWRENCE: No. Remember, you told
