But underneath it all was the maddening thought of my being used in such a way by the dowager; it was clear she saw me as nothing but a pawn. I met her challenging gaze with one of my own. “And when the week ends?”
She gave a nonchalant tilt of her head. “Once Lady Margaret arrives, you must make yourself scarce. We hope for Halstead and Lady Margaret to announce their engagement at the coming ball, alongside Lord Everdale and Lady Ellen.”
Just as I’d suspected. I was to be a piece in her game until she had no more need of me, at which point I would be set aside. My ire rose; aggravation filled me at her high-handed ways.
“No,” I said firmly.
“No?” she echoed, her voice full of disbelief.
I shook my head. “No. I find I am not inclined to do your bidding.”
“Do you believe yourself incapable?”
“On the contrary. I cannot imagine the duke would appreciate your interference, and though you may not approve of the ‘dark place’ he finds himself in, I certainly have no intention of interfering with his life or toying with his emotions in such a way. He hardly deserves that. You may do what you deem necessary, but I will not be caught up in the crossfire of this battle.”
She looked at me carefully for a moment. “I see.” The tone of her voice sent a chill down my spine. Wariness entered the dowager’s expression, a look that suggested I was an opponent not to be underestimated. “Well, perhaps you need only be persuaded.” She narrowed her eyes. “What would your aunt think of the unbecoming language I was subjected to on the church steps?”
I winced. Of course she would use that against me. And Aunt Agnes would be horrified, humiliated. My mind churned, looking for a way out of this tangled mess. Though I had the distinct feeling of getting in over my head, I responded with a threat of my own. “And what will the duke say to the fact that you are trying to catch him unawares with Lady Margaret’s arrival?” I raised my brows, returning her stare.
Her nose wrinkled in distaste. “I assure you, Miss Graham, you do not wish to make an enemy of me.”
I kept my posture erect, trying to appear more confident than I felt. “I am sure I do not, so please do not force me into doing so. Do not speak to my aunt on the matter of my language, and your grandson will hear nothing of Lady Margaret’s arrival from me.”
She nodded, still appraising me, though I could tell it rankled her to acquiesce.
I exhaled in relief and turned my head away. The trees thinned as we approached the castle, which looked as formidable as ever surrounded by the insistent gray fog. Chilled, even through my wool cloak, I rubbed my gloved hands together. We stayed quiet for the remainder of the walk back, the silence only broken by some of autumn’s last birds squawking overhead as they made their journey south.
At the doors of the castle, the dowager turned to face me. “I have my eye on you, Miss Graham. Do not do anything foolish. But just in case you come to your senses and change your mind, Halstead usually spends Sunday afternoons in the library.” She sucked in her cheeks, gave me one final glance, and left me standing on the top step.
My brows wrinkled in confusion. Had she really just asked me to try to rouse her grandson from nearly two years of self-imposed isolation? Did she honestly believe I would so easily do her bidding? Hugging myself against the cold, I stood on the step, hardly believing what had just transpired. My musings didn’t last long. The bitter breeze sent me scurrying inside, where a footman took my cloak.
I hurried upstairs to change. Aunt Agnes was insistent on following the rules of dressing etiquette to the letter, and if I became lazy with my appearance, she would dole out reprimands in abundance. Instead of calling for Betsy, I dressed myself, using the time to think.
Why would the dowager duchess have asked me, of all people, to try to draw the duke out? The fact that she’d even believed me capable of such a feat was flattering. For a moment I entertained the idea. Yet any chance of success seemed unlikely. So far, I’d had the exact opposite effect of drawing him out; except for his appearance at church, he’d been reclusive these past few days.
One thing was certain: my conscience demanded an apology. The more I thought about it, the more I regretted my part in the racing bet and the words I had spoken after my tour with the duke. Our afternoon in the chapel had been lovely. And perhaps I was mistaken, but I thought we had reached some sort of understanding. For a moment I’d believed we could be friends. Until my carelessness had brought the whole endeavor to a crashing halt. My stomach churned at the thought.
I changed into my black-velvet brocade, for its warmth and also because I liked the way it looked with my hair. Taking a quick glance in the mirror, I laid a hand across my stomach. I would need every drop of courage I could summon to go ask for pardon. The dowager had given me a valuable piece of information, and I intended to use it, though not for the reason she’d hoped.
Leaving the warmth of my room, I padded down the drafty corridors. The dim skies left the castle dark and shadowy, stirring the nerves in my stomach.
I approached the door to the library, remembering my last visit. It seemed so long ago, yet only a week had
