Robert leaned toward me. “You must be hungry. Shall I send for a tray?”
I blinked, forcing back tears as I shook my head. “No, thank you. I’m not hungry.”
“Are you feeling all right, Juliet?” Robert touched my elbow lightly, and I took comfort in the gesture. A small measure of relief poured in, just to be near him. There was no doubt in my mind he would always be there.
I smiled, and this time it wasn’t forced. “Yes, thank you. Though, I would like to get some fresh air. Perhaps you would like to join me for a walk when tea is over?”
A grin split his face. “Of course I would.”
An hour later Robert and I walked arm in arm outside. I’d been wrong about the temperature. The air was quite balmy for a day this late in the season, but I was still grateful for the warmth Robert provided. I shivered against some inner chill.
“Lady Margaret is quite lovely, isn’t she?” Robert asked.
Lead filled my stomach. “Yes, she is.”
Robert peered at me, and for once I wished he did not know me so well. “Juliet, are you sure you do not wish to go in and lie down? You look ill.”
A strange sort of gravity pressed down on me, making it difficult to smile, but I shook my head adamantly. “No. I need the fresh air.” And I needed to stay in company, for if left to myself, I would surely fall to pieces.
“If you are certain.” Doubt was evident in his voice. “Perhaps you would like to know I wrote to the headmaster of Harrow this morning.”
“You did?” The distraction was a welcome relief. “What did you say?”
“I told him of your concerns. Asked him to keep a close eye on Harry and let me know if something seems amiss.”
“Thank you, Robert. You cannot imagine how much that means to me.” I scoffed inwardly at the thought of Robert being selfish. Was this not a perfect example of how he attended to my every whim? How could that be selfish?
“But of course,” he said, dismissing my thanks.
“How long do you think it will be before you hear back?”
“Oh, it should not take long. Several days at most. We’re an easy journey from London.” How quickly he allayed all my fears in regard to Harry. My arm that rested on his tightened, and I determined to look at Robert with new eyes, to try and put aside all thoughts of him as a brother. He had promised me time to think things over, and I did not intend to waste it.
“What did you do this morning?” I asked, hoping to deflect Robert’s attention while I took the opportunity to study him.
“Hugh and I went riding with Lord Aberdeen for several hours. We still haven’t seen all of the castle’s grounds.” He shook his head, a slight smile lifting the corners of his mouth. “I am afraid Lady Ellen will be sorely disappointed in Lymington Park after living in a castle like Shaldorn.”
“Yes,” I agreed. “And this is only one of their many holdings. Hugh will have to use all his charm to distract her from the disappointment.”
He laughed at that, and I enjoyed the sound. Robert had a willing laugh, easily given, even when a comment hardly warranted it. I could count on one hand the number of times I had been able to make Halstead laugh. The thought brought back the pit to my stomach, and I pushed it away.
Neither of us spoke for the next few minutes as we walked along the path, leaves crunching underfoot. I did my best not to stare at Robert, but I wanted to take his measure, to try and form an opinion of his person and looks as though we’d only just met.
He stood maybe five or six inches taller than me—not particularly tall, by any standard. But it was an easy height for conversation; there was no need for me to strain my neck to look up at him as we talked.
Robert’s position shifted, and I had to squint against the brightness of the sun as it peeked around his shoulder. His profile was more familiar to me than my own, but I tried to examine it anew. He had rather regular features—a nice nose and well-rounded cheeks that were raised in a smile more often than not. But his best feature was certainly his eyes, the soft green of an olive branch. Always warm. Familiar.
Nothing like Halstead’s.
My cheeks grew warm as I remembered the feel of Halstead’s arms around me. The solid, unyielding strength of his chest pressed against my cheek. I glanced at Robert’s chest. Could he possibly—
“Juliet, you are staring at me in the strangest manner.” He glanced down. “Is my cravat out of place?”
I shook my head fervently and hoped he couldn’t read my thoughts. “No, it’s just . . . a fine knot.”
“Your cheeks are very flushed. Should we head back inside?”
“No, no. Let’s walk for a bit longer. With the new arrivals, the castle is growing quite crowded.” I turned my gaze forward.
“I, for one, am grateful for the addition to the house party,” Robert confided and shrugged.
“Oh?” I couldn’t guess at his reasoning.
“Both the duchess and dowager duchess set me on edge, and save for Lady Ellen and Hugh, conversation has been running rather thin around the dinner table.”
I nodded, looking off into the distance, yet not seeing. “I will not disagree. And Lady Margaret seems like a pleasant conversationalist.” Try as I might to dislike her, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.
“Yes, the very thing. And Lord and Lady Wollerton seem affable as well. Perhaps I’ll even get a small reprieve from Lord Aberdeen. He does cling so.”
I chuckled. “Give him some credit; with cousins such as his, can you blame him for seeking out your company?”
Robert laughed again. I sighed.
He
