Halstead turned a fraction of an inch, enough that I could feel his breath on my hand. “And what do you want, Juliet?”
Now that the question was turned on me, uncertainty again churned through my mind. I blinked slowly. One thing I was certain of. “To give Harry what he’s never had—a place where he belongs.”
Halstead reached up and laid his hand over mine on his cheek, cloaking it in warmth. “And what is it you want for yourself?”
In all my twenty years no one had ever asked me such a thing. Robert had voiced his affection, offering for me, promising to care for me and give me security. But what did I want?
“Juliet?” Halstead’s voice, low and velvety, brought me back to the present, and Robert’s promise grew hazy and distant.
“I am afraid of what I want,” I whispered.
He took my good hand, palm up, and raised it to his lips.
My heart rate, so slow and steady a moment before, skittered faster, as if it could decide for me. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of his lips against my skin, the stroke of his thumb on my wrist.
He threaded his fingers through mine. “I spent almost two years believing my life was over. I closed myself off from the world and barricaded myself against all feeling. My future was as black as a night without stars, and I couldn’t bear to look forward.” He inhaled sharply. “And then my world changed.”
I could hardly breathe. “It did?”
He nodded. “When an unladylike sailor’s daughter invaded my library and broke one of my grandmother’s precious heirlooms.”
“Halstead,” I protested.
He set a finger on my lips. “I am not finished. Then she trespassed into a music room, where she sang like a barmaid and spoke to me—nay, spat words at me like I was a man and not a deformed duke.” He swallowed, his voice thick with emotion. “Every minute spent with you since has awakened something in me, brought me back a little more to who I was before.” He paused. “No, that’s not true. I am not the man I was before my accident. With you, for the first time, I think I might be something more.”
My heart beat like rapid cannon fire, and warmth filled my middle, spreading outward, all the way down to my toes.
“I never, either before or after my accident, would have imagined I could feel so much.” His dark eyes reflected starlight—and something else I couldn’t name. Halstead’s hand brushed my shoulder, fingering one of my loose curls. His thumb traced the line of my collarbone, sliding up my neck until he held my chin. “You’ve brought light into my life again. To live without you would be agony—I beg of you not to make me try. Juliet, say you love me, and I’ll break every one of the rash vows I made not to marry.”
Everything within me wanted to say yes. The only thing that held me back was Robert. I owed him an answer. The truth.
Halstead’s lips skimmed my jaw, the corner of my mouth. The heat of his breath against my skin lit a fire in my middle, and I ached to draw him closer, to press my lips to his and forget everything else.
“Miss Graham? Miss Graham, are you up here?” A man’s voice carried up the stairs into the small observatory.
I pulled back at once and went to the door, my hands shaking. Never had I been so grateful for the darkness. I motioned for Halstead to stay back. “I’m here,” I said, my voice hoarse. Thoughts, feelings, and hopes all collided within me, and I struggled for purchase in the tumult.
A red-faced footman appeared, his face shining under the lantern in the stairway. He breathed heavily. “You’re wanted downstairs by Lady Everdale.” My gut twisted. “She said to come at once.”
My absence had been noted. “Can you tell her I’ll be down shortly?”
“She said it’s a matter of the greatest urgency.”
I let loose a breath, disappointment sweeping away the warmth that had filled me just a moment before. I had no choice but to go. “Yes, of course I’ll come.” My heart thudded heavily. There was so much that needed to be said between Halstead and me. But if we were caught alone together . . . I couldn’t bear for Robert to learn of my answer that way.
I stole a glance back at Halstead and laid a hand over my heart, trying to express that we would have to wait. He nodded, the barest smile lifting the corners of his mouth. My heart tumbled over itself at the sight.
In a brief moment of prudence, I turned and snatched up my gloves before I hurried to follow the footman, who had already begun his descent.
The journey down the stairs seemed to take even longer than the journey up. I could barely think clearly, given what had just happened, yet my mind scored through possibilities of what Aunt Agnes might want. Perhaps she was only anxious for me to be present as Hugh announced his betrothal to Ellen. Halstead’s words echoed through me, and my heart threatened to burst as I relived our few stolen moments together. When would we have the chance to speak again?
“Where is my aunt?” I asked as we approached the second floor.
“She said to meet her in the small drawing room off the entryway.”
I nodded, matching my step to the footman’s. When at last we exited the stairwell, I slid past him and quickened my pace. A few guests wandered the corridors, but I paid them no mind on my way to the drawing room.
The door rested slightly ajar, and I pulled it open and marched through. Making Aunt Agnes wait would only worsen her mood.
All the chairs were empty. Had she lost her patience and given up waiting for me?
“Where have you been?”
I jumped a little. She’d been standing behind the door, as if she’d wished to alarm me.
