Even as my heart cracked in two, I was resolute. Harry’s future rested in my hands. I turned the knob of the drawing room door and made my way into the corridor.
A deep, dark hole filled me, widening with every step I took toward the ballroom. My choices, my wants, all but disappeared as it grew. My eye twitched, but I blinked away the irritation. I was cornered, trapped. Nothing but a small ship tossed about on the waves of a much larger sea.
For the briefest moment I considered going to Halstead. Tears threatened as I thought of the advantage it would be to have a duke offer his help, his protection. But I’d known Aunt Agnes far too long to underestimate her. She’d played her cards perfectly, made it impossible for me to win. She’d pitted my future against Harry’s and left me with no choice.
Through the mist of weight that settled upon me, one thing was certain: with Mother and Father gone, all I had left was Harry. And I wouldn’t lose another person I loved to the sea.
The castle walls blurred around me, but instinct guided me back to the ballroom. A hazy plan formed in my mind, even through the crucible of pain that encompassed my heart. I would go directly to Robert and accept his proposal and then make my excuses and go up to my room and pack. I had not the strength to face Halstead—to feel the keen loss of everything I wanted as I looked into his eyes. Perhaps it was selfish of me, but I couldn’t bear it.
My second entrance into the ballroom could not have been more different than my first. The room was overly bright, the chandeliers gaudy, too grand for a room of otherwise simple tastes. The walls looked more gray than blue, and the sweltering smell of too many guests in too small a space made me grateful I’d skipped dinner.
But perhaps it was the silence that struck me more than anything. The music was noticeably absent, as was the chatter of the crowd. Everyone was gathered near the front of the ballroom. A voice rang out over the guests, but my mind couldn’t seem to make out the words. Suddenly the room swelled with applause.
Hugh and Ellen’s announcement.
Before I’d had adequate time to prepare myself, Robert appeared at my side. “Did you hear? They just made it official.”
I nodded.
“He looks happy, doesn’t he? Happier than he expected when we first arrived, I daresay.”
I studied Robert for a moment. How I wished things could be different between us. He certainly deserved a woman who was ecstatic at the prospect of marrying him. And perhaps I could be. In the future. A lump formed in my throat, but I had no time and certainly no patience for such things tonight. I gulped it back, along with all other emotion.
I laid a hand on his arm. “Robert, I have something to tell you.”
Robert stopped clapping and turned to face me. “Yes, Juliet?” The force of his discerning green eyes made me falter.
The orchestra began to play again, and people ambled through the ballroom, seeking out partners for the next dance. For a moment I considered asking if we could find a place that was more private, but the danger of losing control of my emotions forbade me.
“You remember that when you asked me to marry you, I told you I needed time to consider?”
“Of course, of course. Please, don’t prolong whatever it is you’re about to say.”
My stomach roiled, and I tasted bile at the back of my throat. But I would do this. For Harry. “Yes. My answer is yes.”
“Yes?” he repeated. “Your answer is yes?”
I nodded, hardly trusting my voice.
“Juliet, do you mean it?” I nodded once more, grinding my teeth together with such force my jaw ached. Finally, he released me from the awful heaviness of his gaze. “I can hardly believe it.” Robert drew my arm into his and laughed aloud.
He guided me through the ballroom, but I saw nothing. My breath came in small, ragged bursts as I tried to maintain a facade of normalcy. “Hugh, Lady Ellen!” Robert waved his arm, and suddenly they were standing before us.
“I wanted to congratulate the two of you on your betrothal.” Elation sounded in his voice, and his face nearly split with a grin.
“Thank you, Brother,” Hugh said.
Ellen’s gaze fastened on me, but I took the safe route and simply looked through her. I began to retreat inside myself.
Robert patted my hand. “And we have happy news of our own, though we will wait to announce it. Juliet has just agreed to marry me!”
“She has?” Ellen’s voice was laced with confusion, but I tuned it out.
Their conversation faded to a dull lapping in my ears as Halstead stepped from behind Lady Ellen.
Our gazes collided. Vicious, unadulterated anger stormed through his eyes, and his mouth was sculpted in wrath. Like a bolt of lightning hitting a tree, the hurt I saw in him split me in two. The air was full of venom, and I feared that if I inhaled, the poison of the moment would seep through me and undo my resolve. I couldn’t bear how I was hurting him, even if it was to save Harry.
And then he was gone, the only evidence he’d been there at all the receding rap of his cane on the ballroom floor. I could barely keep my feet. I swayed, my arm tightening on Robert’s as I prayed he would hold me up.
Ellen stepped forward. “Juliet, are you well?”
I leaned in to Robert, surprised he hadn’t yet noticed my distress. “It is only the heat of the room. Perhaps Robert could escort me out.”
“Of course.” He patted my hand. “I’m sorry; I was only caught up in the excitement of the moment.”
He led me away to a small alcove, where chairs were intermittently spaced. The music
