I stamped my feet while we waited for the last few wedding guests to arrive. Hugh stood near the front, his gaze flitting about. He looked almost nervous. The large stone ceiling seemed to extend skyward for miles, which likely explained why warming the place was such an impossible task. I couldn’t help but think this was the last church I’d choose to marry in if given the choice. Images of crisscrossing wooden arches and warm stained-glass light filled my mind, but I quickly pushed them away.
Robert leaned down and whispered in my ear. “I know your birthday is still a few weeks away, but I thought since we are engaged, it would be appropriate for me to give you a small gift.”
I looked up in surprise.
He reached inside his jacket and produced a tiny bag. He uncinched the top, and a simple pearl necklace dropped into his waiting hand. He gave me a meaningful look as he held out the necklace. “A token of what is to come. Here, let me help you put it on.”
My mouth went dry. Robert gently angled my neck, and I could only swallow down the lump that had lodged itself in my throat. The pearls were cold, and gooseflesh rose on my neck and arms, even with the warmth of Robert’s lingering hands.
He gave me a look of approval. “I hope you are pleased.”
I forced a smile. “Thank you.” The cold of the stone floor began to seep up through my dress, and I stamped my feet again. Surely the wedding would start at any moment.
As if on cue, music began to play. The sound of footsteps echoed through the church, and the rector, who stood near the front, smiled and motioned the incoming guests forward.
Then the room quieted, save for the sound of a walking stick pounding against the stone. Ellen’s arm was tucked in Halstead’s as he escorted her to the front of the church. Their progress was slow, and I sucked in a breath as they passed, Ellen’s beaming face in stark contrast to her brother’s stone-chiseled features. He kept his gaze perfectly directed toward the front of the church.
My breath grew jagged, and as though my hand had a memory of its own, the spot on my palm where Halstead had kissed me began to tingle. I closed my fist, as if doing so might erase the memory from my skin.
Ellen joined Hugh at the altar, and Halstead made his way to the pew across the aisle from where Robert and I stood with Aunt Agnes. Having sworn I wouldn’t show any undue attention to Halstead, I forced my focus up to where the rector stood in front of Hugh and Ellen. My heart thundered through my chest and a wave of lightheadedness passed over me. It seemed the rest of me had no intention of obeying orders. Thankfully, it was at that moment that the rector motioned for everyone to sit.
As Hugh and Ellen stepped forward, Robert slipped his hand around mine.
“. . . we are gathered together in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation . . .” The rector’s words echoed up to the ceiling.
Why, why could my heart not leave things be and forget Halstead? Robert’s hand held mine, yet still my mind wandered.
“I require and charge you both as ye will answer at the dreadful day of judgment when the secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed, that if either of you know any impediment . . .”
The secrets of all hearts shall be disclosed. My pulse thrummed through me impossibly fast. How could I marry Robert when I loved Halstead? The whole thing would be a sham, a mockery. The rector’s words echoed up to the ceiling, hitting the stone walls with accusatory force. For the first time since I’d given in to Aunt Agnes’s demands, I struggled to justify my actions.
Aunt Agnes had seized control of my life and decisions, and at the time I’d believed I had no choice but to let her. But if I stood in a church and tried to make these promises, it would be my words, my vows. My choice.
This coming Sunday the banns between Robert and me were scheduled to be read for the first time. Yet how could I, in a few short weeks, make these same vows to Robert when I did not love him? The cold air pressed down on me, and my fingers felt like shards of ice. I couldn’t break Robert’s heart now, after I’d made him believe I loved him. And yet . . . one way or another Robert’s heart would pay for what his mother had done, for what I’d agreed to.
The rector droned on and on, but my head buzzed, a mess of confusion.
Robert flexed his hand, extricating it from my own. “You are holding me with a viselike grip, Juliet,” he whispered. “My fingers are numb.”
I shook my head. “I am sorry. I wasn’t paying attention.”
He gave me an odd look, but I returned my gaze to where Hugh and Ellen stood. Their expressions were solemn, but happiness radiated from them—a happiness I couldn’t imagine if I stood next to Robert and made vows I couldn’t keep.
“So long as you both shall live.”
The words sounded like a toll of warning. A lifetime. How could giving up my own future, my own happiness be the right thing? I knew with certainty it wasn’t what my parents—who had chosen love above all else—would have wanted for me. But still, I couldn’t let Harry fall prey to Aunt Agnes’s cruelty. There had to be a way a protect to Harry . . . and myself. Truth clamped down on my heart, and I knew what I had to do, painful though it might be.
Before I knew it, Robert was motioning me out of the pew. “Come; let’s congratulate them. We don’t want to miss out on the
