From the floor came a small, spreading poolof blood from Gruner’s nose. He turned his head to the side; glared at Gini;glared at Kerri.
“Yeth,” he growled because he’d lost atooth; and then, “You’re hurting me.”
They had him. It was over, witnessed, caughton cop cam and recorded.
More cops arrived. EMTs too but Grunercould walk, they told them, so the EMTs just wiped and stuffed Gruner’s bloodynose. Buck and Alex yanked him up by his cuffs behind him like a side of beef,and he howled.
“Fuckin’ police brutality,” he whined,and bitched and whined more as they dragged him down the stairs and out.
32
When the cab pulledaway, Paul stood staring at the building across the way.
“Fess up,” he said quietly. “You think yousaw that girl.”
“Right,” Liddy snapped, heading for thedoor. “She’s grown angel wings and flown away. Can we go in, please?”
Paul persisted, following up the stairs thatwere painful for her. “You arrived looking like you’d seen a ghost. And that glareyou gave Carl – you embarrassed me.”
“Why do you always protect him?” Liddystormed up, not turning.
“Because he has nothing to do with this…obsessionof yours.”
“You said he told the cops he didn’t knowSasha.”
“That’s what he told me! Why wouldn’t Ibelieve him?”
“It’s just kind of interesting, isn’t it?That she was in his class?”
“You believe that from a pinhead?”
“You saw how fast he looked away from thesketch - and Sasha only audited, that’s why there’s no record.”
They’d reached their landing. Paul threwhis hands up and gestured helplessly as they approached their door. “We madethis great move that was supposed to help, and you’ve gotten more...”
“More what?” Through clenched teeth.
“More…like you need more visits to Minton.”
“Maybe you should go to Minton. Denialfor the sake of ambition, huh?”
Enough. Liddy’s hands shook and she justwanted to get away from Paul, be alone. He was overdoing his I-give-up tack, standingthere sighing and hunched and miserable – it just added to her fury, so she fishedin her purse and snapped, “Okay, I saw Sasha Perry.”
He looked at her; blinked. “You couldn’thave.” His tone was flat, frightened.
“Right! So either she’s alive or I’m crazyand saw a ghost. You happy?”
She raised her hand to key open the door…andit popped open. Then creaked opened further.
Liddy stared. Her eyes darted from thedoor’s lock to its handle to the sliver of dark interior beyond. She heard Paul’sbreath catch.
“I locked this,” she whispered, feeling chilled.
“Liddy.”
“I locked it, I remember distinctly.”
She knew he was thinking, Right, likeyou saw Sasha Perry.
“Wait here,” he said raggedly.
With a jerky movement he pushed in, leavingthe door open. Liddy peered fearfully into the interior, seeing him turn onlamps, cross the loft’s open expanse to the bedroom and the other rooms. She wasstunned, not believing this, her anger collapsing as she plunged back intoself-doubt. Her eyes flew back to the lock, the new one they’d replaced for theold one, and she shook her head.
“Locked it,” escaped thinly from her lips,sounding like the soft mewling of a child.
Paul was back. “Nothing.” He pointed unhappilyto the security keypad. “You didn’t set this either?”
Either.Hurtful word, saying she was out of it.
“That I forgot” – her voice shook – “but Iclearly remember locking the door.” Something that had felt full of strong andrighteous anger minutes before was gone, plowed under. She felt incredulous andbeaten; let him take her arm and lead her in, closing and locking the door, punchingthe security pad. Everything from the last few hours came back and shequestioned it…like the Help in the shower wall mist, and seeing Sasha inthe street - had any of it really happened? No one else saw Sasha…so had she,Liddy, gone truly crazy, paranoid, seeing and imagining things?
Paul had left her standing in the middle ofthe room and dropped, miserable, to the couch with his back to her, facing theflat screen. A lamp by his side glowed softly. It was the Victorian glass lampLiddy had bought just days before, and it hurt, remembering how buoyant she hadfelt. Now the awful pent-up feeling was back, like a large, pressing hand overher heart.
What to do with this pain? Go into herstudio and lock the door? Lie down on the window seat, try to decompress?
Possible. He wouldn’t bother her, but sheknew she’d still feel wretched.
Like a dummy he sat. From the back helooked dead, almost, as if someone had just left him there, propped him up withhis head drooping.
Her turmoil was giving way to guilt. Onething about Paul: if they fought and she relented first, he’d come around andthey’d both feel better. Touch brows, say sorry. In a way, Paul was emotionallylike her mirror. He took his cues from her…same as he took his cues from Carl. Hisproblem was that he was too malleable. Liddy saw what he didn’t, but he wasstill caught in the middle.
She came, took a deep breath, and sat stifflynext to him. His arms were folded and he stared at nothing, looking ill. It wasdepressingly quiet in the apartment. Now the two of them must have looked likedummies, staring glassily ahead at the blank flat screen.
“Sorry,” she said, biting back a last,stubborn chip of anger.
He inhaled. Let a long moment pass, thensaid, “Me too.”
She fell back on the cushions, glad, atleast, to feel her heart start to slow.
More silence passed between them. Finally,very quietly, Paul said, “Please go back to Minton.”
“I never stopped.”
“You cut from twice a week to once a week.”
She realized then why she’d sat next tohim. Something strong inside her was back, announcing it was still there –fighting. “He’s useless. Just gives me pills, talks and talks and saysnothing.”
“Some of that talk might be useful.”
She felt it: Paul’s turmoil still comingoff him in waves. Still looking ahead, he said in that same quiet voice, “Youreally think you saw that girl?”
Liddy took a deep breath. “Yes.”
“In the neighborhood?”
“Yes. Running away from me.”
“Out of the whole city you think you sawher here.”
“She went to NYU. Here or the Village wouldbe logical.”
Paul hesitated; glanced uneasily over
