“That’s why I’ve been pushing a community college. To keep you home just a little longer.” Mom pulls away and wipes her eyes. “It’s unfair to you. I know that, but I’m not ready to let go.”
“Just because I want to go to a university doesn’t mean I’m going to leave for good. Just because I met my birth mom doesn’t mean I’ve found a replacement for you.”
She smiles sadly. “That’s easy to say now, but you want to study music. She’s the one you will go to for advice.”
“On music and those classes, but that doesn’t mean I’ll call her if things are crappy.”
Her hand cradles my cheek. “I love you so much.”
“I love you. And Dad, even when I’m mad, even if I act like I hate you sometimes.”
The sadness clears from her eyes, and she gives me a small smile. “If you still want Kelsey to teach you piano, I’ll allow it.”
It’s all I’ve ever wanted, but I’m not celebrating. Not when it caused my mom so much pain. “Thanks, but she might not want to.” I can’t assume my birth mom wants to be my teacher. She rejected me because of who I was before, but that still doesn’t mean she’d want me as a student.
Mom blows out a sigh and turns. “What do you say, Kelsey? Do you want to teach Madison?”
“Nothing would make me happier.”
Oh crap, now my birth mom is about to cry. No wonder the guys went upstairs. They probably anticipated this.
“So, how does this work?” my mom asks. “An hour lesson once a week?”
I can’t believe I’m actually going to get to work with Mrs. Dosek and that she is my birth mom.
“That depends,” Kelsey says slowly. “What are the goals? Just to learn to play, win competitions or get into the right college to pursue a career in music?” She’s asking my mom and not me. I know Mom doesn’t want it to be my career no matter how much I’ve tried to convince her.
“Madison wants it as a career, but I’ve been discouraging her.”
Kelsey nods, like she is just an instructor finding out what she needs to teach.
“It’s a tough road. She could graduate with a music degree, but what if she can’t find work?” Mom continues. “She’ll just be another waitress in New York among other wait staff that pursued acting, dance and music but never got a job.”
It’s so nice she has so much confidence in my talent and skills. Most parents think their kids are the most talented kids on the planet. Except mine.
“I agree,” Kelsey says.
She’s agreeing with my mom?
“It is tough, and sometimes it just comes down to being in the right place at the right time,” Kelsey adds.
I thought Kelsey, more than anyone, would get it and support me. Me and her against Mom. At least, that was what I was hoping for.
“But there is more you can do with a music degree than performance or composing.”
Maybe she is on my side after all. Not that I want to do anything else but compose and play.
“Like what?” Mom asks.
I am completely being left out of this conversation. Even if I did try to speak, they’d probably ignore me.
With a huff, I fall back into a chair. Why should I have any say in my future anyway?
“First, because Madison will graduate with either a BA or MA, she’ll be able to be an accompanist for any number of places, work in a music store, audio editing, private lessons, or music publishing. If she wants to get an education degree, she can teach. If she follows up with psychology, she would work toward music therapy. She can play in the pit for any number of musicals or in a studio.” Then she smiles. “Or, she can be a waitress.”
They can talk about my options all they want, but my dreams are to compose. That Kelsey did not mention, but I will make it happen.
Mom looks over at me and then takes a breath. “Her dream is to get into Juilliard. It’s the top of her list of schools.”
She might really be considering this. I sit forward. “Actually, my dream school is Indiana University Jacobs School of Music.”
Kelsey whips her head around. “But that’s so far away.”
Why does she care? She hasn’t exactly spent time with me since I was born, other than a few minutes in an elevator that I don’t remember.
“It’s a good school,” I tell her.
“It’s an excellent school,” Kelsey agrees. “But, so far away.”
Mom takes a seat next to me. “Consider staying in New York, Madison. Kelsey is one of the reasons I wanted you to stay close to home. I knew that once you met her that you’d want to spend more time with her. Get to know her, and you can’t do that if you are in Indiana nine months out of the year.”
“That is why you practically had a heart attack when I was looking at places like Rochester even.”
She just nods. The sadness is in her eyes, but it isn’t as bad as when she was crying.
“Okay, I’ll look at the schools around here, but I’m not changing my dreams or my focus.”
“I went to a state university, Madison, and it worked out well for me.”
“You wanted to be a teacher because performing makes you throw up,” I remind her.
“Madison,” my mother starts to scold, but Kelsey laughs.
“She’s right. But, I wasn’t in a position to go to Juilliard, even if I wanted to.” Then she looks at me. “Is that your goal? Truly your goal? Because it is going to be a lot of hard work, and far more students don’t make it in than do.”
Kelsey and Mom are both staring
