Mom blows out a deep sigh, as if defeated. “Very well then. Enough lessons so she has a shot at Juilliard.”
Jubilation shoots through me, and I jump from my seat and hug Mom. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”
She just chuckles and pulls back. “It’s going to be hard work. If you don’t think you can do it, it’s okay to change your mind.”
For once, I’d love for her not to always be so cautious. “I’ll practice until my fingers bleed. I promise.”
“What about the violin and cello?” Kelsey asks me.
“Those are just for orchestra. I’ve never really competed. I thought I should concentrate on one instrument.”
Kelsey purses her lips in thought. “What chair?”
“First in cello, third in violin.”
She nods. “If you really want to make an impact on Juilliard, why not prepare to audition all three?”
My eyes pop open.
“You want to play and compose, I get that, but three instruments is more appealing than one.”
I look at Mom who is all worried again.
“We can’t afford all of those lessons.”
Kelsey smiles. “You won’t need to. I’m sure my friend Kate will take her on.”
“Kate? The friend from high school that you wrote about?”
“Yep.”
“How much time will all of this take?” Mom is really worried. “She does have high school studies. She can’t spend all of her time with her instruments.”
“She won’t,” Kelsey says. “Of course she’ll have to practice, a lot, if she’s serious, but schoolwork is important too.” She delivers that warning to me.
“I’ll work with Madison twice a week for an hour and a half each. We’ll start there.”
“Three hours,” Mom says.
“Yes. Three hours a week.”
“No.” Mom smiles. “Three hours per lesson.” She glances over at me. “Half of it for lessons and the other half for getting to know each other.”
Tears spring to Kelsey’s eyes, but she quickly swipes them away. “Thank you.”
“But, only if that is what Madison wants.”
If I say yes, will it hurt my mom? The one who raised me? But, after reading all of those letters, I do want to know the woman who gave birth to me. And, my younger half-brothers.
“It’s okay,” Mom says.
She does know me better than I give her credit for. “I would, if Kelsey wants to.”
Kelsey smiles as tears sparkle in her eyes. “Of course!”
“Well, then.” Mom stands. “What days would work best?”
“Let me get my calendar.”
“Thank you,” I say to my mom after Kelsey goes into her office.
“You’re welcome.”
I hate that she’s still sad, so I hug her again. “I’ll always be yours. I may get to know Kelsey, but you will always be my mom. I love you and Dad.”
She just nods and sniffs.
In time, she will realize that nobody can ever replace her.
“How about Monday and Thursday at six in the evening?” Kelsey asks, coming back into the music room.
“Perfect!” Mom and I say at the same time.
The front door slams open and I jump.
“Mom!” a little boy yells as he enters.
“What did we say about the doors?” Mr. Dosek is coming down the stairs. Behind him is my dad.
“But, Uncle Dylan…” Liam trails off as he looks at my dad and then my mom, with a little confusion on his young face. When he looks at me his eyes go wide and a huge smile blossoms on his face. “Brandy Maddie! You’re here!”
Brandy Maddie?
He knows who I am?
He’s only like nine.
Kelsey’s face gets red. “They call you Brandy Maddie because of the two different names you were given. He called you that once, and it stuck.”
The youngest, Gabe, rushes forward, and before I can prepare, he’s wrapped his arms around my thighs and he’s hugging me.
“What are you doing here?” Ethan cries with excitement. “You’re only seventeen.”
“Mom said not before eighteen, or could be later, and you just turned seventeen,” Liam reminds me. He’s kind of suspicious but still seems happy to see me.
They know my birthday.
“Come see my room,” Gabe grabs me hand. “You can share with me.”
“She doesn’t want to share your room,” Ethan says. “She’s a girl.”
“Madison is not going to live with us,” Alex says. “She’s visiting.”
The crestfallen faces squeeze my heart. They want me. My brothers want me, and they don’t even know me.
“I have a home, but I’ll come back and visit,” I assure them. Twice a week and maybe more, if my mom allows it.
“Be right back,” Liam yells before he runs out the door again.
“Go after him, Alex.”
He gives Kelsey a wink and then heads out after the oldest.
“You look like us.” Ethan nods as if he approves.
I’m not so sure I look like them, but we all have dark hair, curly hair.
“Mom says you play the piano, just like her.” Gabe says.
“Yes, I do.” I can’t help but smile down at him. He hasn’t let go of my hand.
“Me too!” he says proudly then holds out his hands. “Long fingers.”
I put my hand next to him. “Me too!”
My heart is so overwhelmed. I wasn’t just tossed away and forgotten.
I already knew that, of course, from the letters, but I’m not a stranger to them either. My pictures are on the wall with theirs, and they know about me.
Mom is leaning against Dad, and he has an arm around her. She’s still dabbing at her eyes, but Dad is too. I’ve never seen him cry. Ever.
This can’t be easy for them. Or at least, not her. She’s been trying to hold onto me. Not just because she wasn’t ready for me to grow up, like all moms, but because she was afraid she’d lose me to another family.
That won’t happen, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want this family too.
“Want to play a game?” Gabe asks.
I get down at eye level with him. “I’m sorry, I can’t right now.”
His excitement slips away, and it kills me to disappointment him.
“But, I’ll be back next week. Maybe we can play then?”
With that, his smile is back. I’ve never had a sibling want to spend time like that with
