I tossed it back along with the brothers and laughed, the burn making my face scrunch. God, I hated tequila.
Jason grabbed the next card, groaning as he read it. “When is the last time you had sex?”
“Sunday,” we answered in unison, his brothers twisting their faces in disgust.
“Tuesday,” Luke replied while Ethan threw back another shot.
Luke slid the next card over, blowing out a long breath. “What was your longest relationship? What happened?” he recited. He pondered it for a long moment before grabbing the rum, throwing a shot back.
“Maybe two months?” Ethan offered, shrugging. “Nothing happened. I just wasn’t into it.”
“Two years,” Jason replied, spinning his shot glass on the table. “We grew apart.”
Luke scoffed, and Jason shot him a warning look, catching my eye.
“Four years. He left me.” My answer hung there like dirty laundry out on a line, though no one said a peep thankfully.
Ethan picked up the next card. “When is the last time you were in love?” he asked. He thought for a moment before setting it down. “I don’t know that I’ve ever been in love, so I’ll say never.”
“Over ten years ago,” Luke replied, turning to look at Jason with a smirk. “How about you, big brother?”
Jason stiffened, his eyes focused on the whiskey bottle. I thought he would grab it before he turned to his bearded brother. “It’s been years,” he declared. “Five, I’d say.”
My stomach burned at his words, but I chased the pain with a shot of tequila, refusing to lie, but determined not to make an ass of myself.
The younger brothers erupted in laughter while Jason’s eyes rested on my face, a million unspoken words flying.
Jason
Elena was in love with me.
The shot wasn’t only to avoid answering the question. She was cauterizing the wound I inflicted with my answer. I should have taken a fucking shot like I wanted to, but no, I had to prove I wasn’t a little bitch, only to hurt the person I cared about most.
We had long since packed up the game after a few more rounds. I couldn’t handle knowing exactly what my little brothers had done with their junk. I thought I knew them before, but boy was I wrong.
Elena excused herself to call her father while we headed up to the rooftop terrace, a roaring fire pit giving off enough heat to keep it comfortable. With a sweater and a tumbler of whiskey, I was set on the loveseat.
“Sounds like you’re in the doghouse, brother,” Luke teased, throwing back a shot of his beverage of choice, rum. “Sorry about that.”
I sighed, swishing my drink around in my glass. “No, it’s fine. She has to check in with her dad. He’s got the stomach flu. That’s why she’s here with me.”
“You didn’t want to bring her?” Ethan prodded.
“Well, I didn’t want to expose her to you knuckleheads, but I’m glad she’s here.” I was, truly. Elena handled their antics like a pro, not batting an eyelash when Luke went into sordid detail about who and what he did with his dick.
“I like her,” Ethan declared, locking eyes with me over the fire. “She’s good for you.”
I nodded with a smile. She was that and so much more.
“Night and day from Bianca,” Luke offered. “And I can tell she cares about you.”
“She loves him,” Ethan corrected, eyes still holding mine. “And he loves her.”
I shook my head, taking a sip of my drink. “I’m not talking about this.”
There was no way in hell I was going there. Not with them. Not with her. Not with myself. I didn’t love: I protected, I worshiped, and I cherished. There was a difference. Love was fleeting, an illusion of sorts. You could spend years chasing it, only to find you lost yourself.
Ethan didn’t budge. “Don’t fight it. Now tell me, does she know?”
Luke answered for me, lighting up a cigarette as he did. “No, because he’s a dumbass.”
Ethan’s eyes narrowed. “She should know. That’s part of the package, Jason.”
I sat back, not having it. I unloaded a lot on her already and was expecting to shovel more on top slowly. We had a lot of history to unpack, and I didn’t want to heave it all on her at once. She was my girlfriend, not my therapist. “It’s my business, lay off.”
“It’s important,” Ethan urged, sliding his hair out of his face, the long strands blowing in the wind. “It’s literally a life-or-death issue.”
“Look, I have a lot of shit going on in my life and have a lot more hiding in the closet. I get that. I’ll tell her when I’m ready. I’m adjusting to the relationship thing, a new job, and moving across the country. I can’t fuck with the past right now.” My head throbbed, a constant reminder of what I was running from.
“We’re only looking out for you, dude,” Luke grumbled, letting out a puff of smoke. “We love you, and we want what’s best for you. That girl in there is it. You need to tell her.”
“Tell me what?” Elena asked, reaching the top of the stairs behind Ethan.
Fuck.
“How beautiful you look tonight,” Luke offered, trying to diffuse the situation the only way he knew how: fucking terribly.
She shuffled next to Ethan, her frame swimming in a sweater. She stopped beside him, ignoring me as I patted the open seat beside me. Her eyes flicked between us all, her lips twisted. “Tell me what?” she repeated, louder. “Jason?”
“Errr...” I trailed, not knowing what the fuck to say. It wasn’t something one casually brought up around a bonfire with their partner. It was something that came out after hours of counseling together and half a bottle of whiskey.
Her eyes were pleading. “Tell me.”
Ethan reached out and took her hand in his, grabbing her attention. “It’s something personal, El. Not something light enough for a campfire, okay?”
“Well, I’ll be downstairs when he’s
