Her eyes were flat. Her mouth pinched. “That’s honest, at least.”
I wanted her to understand where I was coming from. “I’ve never told anyone this, but I wasn’t there when Caroline took her last breath. I wonder if she waited for me to leave the room before she took her last breath to spare me the pain of being present for her physical passing. At first, I felt guilty and robbed of that moment, but eventually I realized she wanted to do something for me to make my life easier, even as she lay unconscious. It was an act of love even though it didn’t feel like it at the time.” I waited for the usual wave of grief that accompanied that memory, but it didn’t come.
Hadley moved closer, laying her arm over my chest. “That’s a beautiful memory.”
“I swore I’d never get close to someone again. At the time, moving on was unfathomable but now, being here with you, anything is possible.”
I shifted so I was leaning on my elbow, caressing her cheek with my hand. “You can’t be my first love, but maybe you’ll be my last. I can’t guarantee anything. None of us can, but I like being with you and I want to see where this goes.” It was better to tell her the truth and give her the option of walking away now rather than later—after she’d fallen in love with me.
Her eyes softened and she touched my cheek. Her eyes were swimming with unshed tears. I hoped I’d said the right thing. She pulled me down for a kiss. I poured everything I was feeling into it. I hoped it would be enough.
Chapter Seventeen
Hadley
The sun filtered through Cade’s windows the next morning unhindered, reminding me where I was—Cade’s house. I should have felt warm and cozy, but I felt unsettled. Was it the memory Cade shared with me? Was I setting myself up to be hurt?
I glanced over my shoulder to find Cade watching me thoughtfully, his arm folded behind his head.
“Do you have to go to work?” Cade rolled over, slinging an arm over me.
The weight of his arm was comforting. I relished in the feeling for a few seconds before I said, “Yes. I have to go to the bathroom and go home to get ready.”
I needed space to think about what I was doing. Cade pulling back last night was a good thing. He’d done me a favor. I couldn’t go from my overbearing father and Layton to yet another distraction. That’s exactly what Cade was—a distraction.
He didn’t say anything when I went to the bathroom—wearing only his shirt. I finger-brushed my hair before brushing my teeth with a spare toothbrush I found in the drawer. I couldn’t even look at myself in the mirror. I couldn’t believe I’d jumped into something new so quickly. Last night, I’d felt the highest of highs, but Cade’s words centered me. Reminded me that he was probably still grieving Caroline. I could very well be a rebound for him.
Ever since I’d told Layton no, things in my life had gone into a downward spiral—the new firm wasn’t gaining clients as quickly as I hoped, I had pressure from my dad and Layton to return to New Orleans, and now Cade. Why did I think I could be happy when I hadn’t fixed the reasons I’d moved here? I still didn’t know who I was. I needed to be happy and content with who I was before I could be with someone else.
Cade couldn’t complete me. He had his own issues.
Disgusted with myself, I pulled open the bathroom door with more force than was necessary.
“Everything okay?” Cade raised his brows from his position against the pillows. One arm tucked behind his head and his bare chest visible above the sheet.
“Yup. I should probably get going.” I averted my eyes, picking up the pieces of my scattered outfit and got dressed.
I paused by his side of the bed, where he eyed me warily. “I’ll see you.” I dropped a chaste kiss on his lips, but before I walked away, he caught my wrist and tugged me back.
“Does this mood have anything to do with what I said last night?” He kept hold of my wrist, distracting me with light strokes on my skin.
I pursed my lips, unsure whether I should tell him everything I was thinking. “Maybe.”
“Nolan said I should be honest, but maybe that was a bad idea.” His expression was uncertain.
“You talked to Nolan about me?” I liked that more than I should. That meant he wasn’t hiding me. I was important to him.
“Yeah, I don’t want to screw this up.”
Warmth filled me and I sat on the bed next to his hip. The sheet slid down to reveal his toned abs. “So don’t.”
“What we have is special. I want to see where this goes.”
His hand cupped the back of my head as he pulled me down to capture my lips. I straddled his hips, wanting to be closer to him. My pussy settled on the length of his cock. Emotion crept up on me with each sweep of his hand, each pass of his lips on mine, each slow, calculated thrust of his hips. Slowly and surely, he’d slipped under my defenses and wrapped around my soul. He was so entangled with me. I couldn’t see straight. I couldn’t think about anything but him and those words. I was special.
Avery greeted me at our office door with two to-go cups of coffee in her hand. “Hey, this is for you.”
“Thanks.”
“Guess what?” She unlocked the door before leaning her back against the door to open it. Her face was animated, her eyes filled with excitement.
I put Cade and our weekend out of my mind to focus on Avery. “What?”
“I got a call
