He was shaking his head. ‘No. No. I’ve kept it from them. They don’t know. Nobody knows.’ He raked his hand through his hair. ‘Christ. What have I done?’
She stepped towards him. ‘You haven’t done anything. You lived through a traumatic event. That would affect even the strongest of people. The fact you’ve managed so well all these years is testament to how strong you’ve been, but it’s okay to lean on people. To ask for help. You have to know that. Flynn. Flynn?’
But it was no use. He was already gone. Not physically, but mentally, shutting down, enclosing his emotions behind whatever wall he thought they were safe behind. ‘Reid,’ he yelled as he limped away from her. ‘Let’s go look for that cat.’
She wanted to tell him to sit down, to rest his leg, that she wouldn’t push him further about his fears, but the words wouldn’t come because she knew they were useless. He wouldn’t listen. He was too proud. Too stubborn.
Hell, he reminded her a bit of her dad. A bit of herself.
What a pair they made.
No. Not a pair. Never a pair. She sighed as he pushed through the kitchen door, the force of his shove making it slam shut behind him.
‘Oh dear. That didn’t go so well,’ Barb said from where she was leaning against the doorway that led into the hall.
She jumped, her face and chest heating. ‘You saw that?’
‘The kiss? No.’
Prita blinked, then blushed. ‘You did see it.’
Barb smiled. ‘It seemed like a good kiss.’
‘It didn’t work. It was stupid.’
She took Prita’s hand and led her to the couch. ‘It got him inside and over his panic attack. From my point of view, it worked a treat.’
‘I don’t know if that’s true.’ She snorted. ‘Kissing is hardly in the mental health hand book.’ She plopped onto the couch. ‘Some doctor I am.’
‘There’s some things you can’t fix, Prita. You can help with many bugs and illnesses, breaks and sprains and all sorts of pain, but the mind and how it processes things is a far trickier beast.’
Prita stared at Barb. ‘You sound like you have some experience.’
Barb pressed her lips together and nodded. ‘Everyone’s life is full of ups and downs and mine is no different from the rest.’ She looked down at her hands and then back up. ‘I struggled after my daughter, Reid’s mum, killed herself by running her car it into a tree. Although, I didn’t admit that to anyone, not even myself, for years. It wasn’t until my Robert died about ten years after, that I realised how bad I’d got. It was Flynn and his Anna who helped me through that time, made me get help. He was my rock. I only wish my boy would do the same for himself. Allow me, or someone else, to be his rock.’ She smiled crookedly. ‘I’m afraid he’s tarred with both his father’s and his mother’s stubbornness though, so I’ve not been able to even so much as get him to talk about what happened that day.’
‘What did happen that day?’ The moment the words were out of her mouth she wished them back. ‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.’
‘No, of course you can ask. You more than anyone else should know something of what you’re dealing with.’
Prita frowned. ‘Because I’m his doctor?’
‘No. Because of the way you feel about each other.’
Prita held her hands up. ‘There’s no feelings—’
Barb tapped her on the hand. ‘Now now, you know what happened to Pinocchio when he lied?’
‘His nose got bigger.’
‘No, he got swallowed by a whale. I always thought that was a fairly obvious metaphor for being swallowed by the consequences of your lies, but—’ she shrugged, ‘—we are talking about a story where the main character was a wooden boy.’
Prita stared at her for a moment and then burst out laughing. Barb smiled at her. After a moment, wiping her eyes, she said, ‘How do you do that?’
‘What?’
‘Make a person feel like things aren’t so bad.’
‘It’s not hard. Humour fixes lots of things. As does a good scone. And, of course, love.’
Prita’s smile fell from her face. ‘I don’t love Flynn.’ Her voice was a harsh whisper, but she could still hear the fear there in the middle of the denial.
Barb’s soft smile showed she heard it too. ‘You’re not ready for that yet, I know. I also know that it’s not a fix for everything—it certainly wasn’t for my daughter. But I do know that if she’d been here, I wouldn’t have stopped trying to help her get help. And I’m not going to stop trying for Flynn.’
Breath tight in her chest, Prita took Barb’s hand in hers. ‘I won’t stop trying either.’
Barb smiled sadly. ‘He’s going to make it very difficult. He won’t admit he needs help easily. His role has always been the one who helps others.’
‘Yes. I see that in him.’ They had that much in common.
Barb’s smile changed to loving pride. ‘My boy is strong. Maybe too strong for his own good right now.’ She looked away, took a deep breath, then met Prita’s gaze again. ‘They were out doing clean up after the fire had swept through here and we were given the all clear. A team went out with the CFA to clear the fallen trees from the roads and mark the trees that were dangerous and needed to be chopped down on roadsides and bush tracks. Anna was marking a tree when one of the high boughs split and fell on her, crushing her. Flynn was working the next tree down. He never said, but I know he heard the crack of the bough, that he saw what happened to her. They found him, cradling her broken body in his arms.’
‘Oh god.’
‘He had nightmares
