But first, he did need to calm down before he went anywhere near the horses. They’d sense his tension and it wasn’t fair on them to make them nervy. A cold shower. Yes. That’s what he needed. He looked down at himself and realised he didn’t have a t-shirt on either. Where the hell was his t-shirt?
Prita.
The image of her pulling his t-shirt on slammed into him. She’d stood there, looking sexier than anyone had a right to with his t-shirt hitting her mid-thigh and that dark mane of hair, tangled and glorious, caressing her shoulders and neck. The vision of her made him even angrier, the anger playing alongside his hurt and betrayal, because how could he still want her so badly when she had betrayed him like she had? When she’d tried to trick him? When just the memory of his t-shirt caressing her thighs made him want to march back down to her and put his hands where his t-shirt touched, stripping it off her inch by slow inch and cover her with more than his scent.
‘Goddamn it!’
His voice echoed in the bush on either side of the road that led to his house. He really needed a cold shower now but his mum would be at the house cleaning something unnecessary as she did at this time every day and he didn’t want her to see him like this. He stood there for a moment, skin heating under the pressure of the hot summer sun, uncertain what to do. He couldn’t go back to the house. Couldn’t go up to the stable. Couldn’t go back to Prita. Couldn’t even go to the pool outside the bunk houses as the staff would see him and wonder what the hell he was doing jumping in with his jeans on.
Maybe he should just head down to the lower dam and dunk himself in the shallow water there. The upper dam was deeper, but after the blaze there yesterday, he couldn’t go there. The lower dam would have to do. The lower one wasn’t as good for swimming, but he could sink down, let the murky water rise over his head and cover him for a moment while he escaped this driving heat. Sink into the quiet and hold his breath for as long as he could until the need to breathe was all that his brain was focused on. He’d done that often after Anna had left him, the cool and the murk of the water and quiet making it so he could just stop thinking. Stop feeling. Yes. He should do that. He needed to get the vision of Prita in his t-shirt out of his mind so he could focus on what his life was about.
Aaron.
CoalCliff.
Living the life he and Anna had planned.
He couldn’t let go of that, not for her, not for anyone, because to do so would be to betray Anna and everything they’d been to each other. He’d promised her. Promised. He wasn’t a man who broke his promises. Ever. How could she think he would, simply because they’d had the most amazing sex ever?
No. That wasn’t right. Sex with Anna had been amazing too. It had just been different. They’d both been each other’s firsts. It had been tentative and fast to begin with then grew into something deep and eternal. It was passionate. He’d loved and wanted Anna with everything in him. But it had been a different kind of passion from the one he’d experienced with Prita. A rippling lake as opposed to a raging river. Yes. That’s what he had with Anna. He wanted the quiet, composed stillness of that passion in his life, not the mess and torment he had with Prita. She made him so mad, made him lose control. He’d hit Bob Thompson for her, had wanted to hit the arsehole who had burned down her house and was threatening her. No, hit wasn’t enough. He wanted to throttle him.
See? See what she did to him! He wasn’t a violent man and yet here he was, trembling, fists clenched, pacing back and forth with no direction, ready to fight.
He couldn’t be with her. She made him feel too much. Made him—
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he swore, stopped pacing. ‘What?’
‘Flynn, where are you?’ It was Reid, his voice sounding strained.
His fingers tightened on the phone. ‘Why? Has something happened?’ Was it Aaron? The last time Reid had sounded that strained was Friday afternoon when he called to say Aaron had been hurt trying to ride Rebel. Had he gone out on a horse to follow Reid and the others even though he knew he shouldn’t? He wouldn’t have been so reckless, would he? Maybe he would because he’d been left behind, alone.
Damn it, he should have gone with Aaron rather than staying and taking Prita on the table. What the hell kind of father was he? He turned around and began to run towards the stables, the jarring movement making pain stab in his knee. But he didn’t care. He had to get to his son. ‘Where’s Aaron, is he okay?’
‘Nothing’s happened to Aaron. He’s with Carter and Tilly.’
Flynn slowed his pace, aware that his breath was too tight in his chest. ‘I thought you were taking them and Diarmuid for a ride.’
‘We were. We were about to set out when Mac called. There’s smoke rising from the bush down in the gully beyond the climbing wall and tree surfing area. It’s heading towards us. Mac’s done a call out for volunteers and he and Ben are heading in now to the CFA to get the trucks, but it looks like it’s bigger
