Flynn’s stride faltered, aching knee buckling and he stumbled a few steps forward before catching himself, his phone falling from numb fingers, skittering across the ground. In the distance he could hear Reid’s voice calling out his name, but he couldn’t make himself move. Could barely breathe now that he’d smelled it. He’d been breathing it in and hadn’t even noticed he’d been so mad, his emotions in such chaos. But now Reid had said the word—fire—he couldn’t help but smell it, a faint hint, but to him, it was as if he was standing in a field of smoking ruins, the air full of ash, and he was choking on it, tears burning his eyes as he bent over, hands on knees and tried not to crumble into tiny pieces on the ground. He took in a breath, forcing air into his lungs, but all he could smell now was the smoke from the fire, chewing up all the oxygen. His head was spinning and any moment now, he was going to pass out.
Shit, shit. Breathe. Breathe.
‘Dad?’
His breath caught, held, shuddered out of him at the sound of his son’s voice so close to him. Then there was a little hand on his back and a face peering at him from the side. Shit, shit, stand up, be normal, don’t let him see.
‘Dad? Are you okay? Did you run too fast? Have you got a stitch?’
‘No.’ The word was a wheeze past the constriction in his throat, his lungs, but it was a word, and hearing it helped him to unlock his muscles and straighten up. He even managed a smile at his son, yet couldn’t trust himself to reach out and ruffle Aaron’s hair as he usually would. His hands were shaking and were covered in sweat. He shoved them in his pockets and took a breath through his mouth, trying desperately to ignore the scent of burning things stinging the air. ‘It’s my knee,’ he said as an excuse. ‘I twisted it again.’
‘Does it hurt a lot?’
Another breath. A stronger smile. ‘It’ll be okay. How come you aren’t with the others? Reid said you were with Diarmuid.’
Aaron reached out with his good hand and grabbed his elbow, clinging in a way that wasn’t usual for Aaron. ‘Dad. The fire. I heard Reid say to Nat that if the direction of the wind didn’t change, it will race through the tree surfing area and the climbing wall and keep going. That means it will get in the paddocks where we put most of the horses after the ride today.’ His fingers dug in a little, his chin trembling. ‘You have to save the horses, Dad. You have to. All the men went out with Reid and there’s nobody to move the horses.’
Shit. Reid needed him to drive the tanker, but Aaron was right—they couldn’t leave the horses where they were if the fire was close enough to take out the climbing wall and tree surfing area down in the gully. The fire set at the climbing wall this morning hadn’t taken because of the rain last night and because the men were keeping a watch out. But the day had been hot and windy and this fire had been started in one of the driest areas of the gully. This wouldn’t be so easy to put out.
He had to think. He held Aaron’s shoulders lightly, looking him in the eye. ‘I need your help, son. You need to go and get your gran—she’ll be at the house—and then get the others in the kitchen. Rope in the other kids as well.’
‘What about Diarmuid and Prita and Cherry?’
‘Them too if they want to help. You need to move the horses up to the road. Ride herd on them.’
‘I can’t ride.’
‘You can hop in the ute with your gran, the others can ride. But get the horses up to the main road and onto the paddock at the upper dam.’
‘But the fire there yesterday.’
‘Is out and Mac said it only really took out the old tree and a bit of grass. So they’ll have water and grass and they’ll be safer there than anywhere else right now. The road will act as a fire break if the fire climbs higher up the hill. Your gran will know what to do. But I need you to help her, okay? I have to go help Reid and the other volunteers at the fire face to try to stop it from getting here. But I need you to be in charge of saving the horses. Can you do that?’
Aaron’s chin had stopped wobbling and the panic in his eyes cleared as he nodded solemnly. ‘I won’t let you down, Dad.’
‘I know you won’t, A-man.’ He pulled him in for a rough hug and kissed the top of his shaggy head. His son was worried about letting him down? There was no chance of that happening. More likely the other way. He’d almost let Aaron down. Let all of them down because he’d let his weakness almost get on top of him.
No more.
He was going to prove to himself, and to Prita, that he wasn’t living in the past. That he didn’t need her or anything but his own determination to get him through. That he wasn’t making decisions based on fear of moving into the future. He’d done nothing but move into the future after Anna had died. Look at what he’d done around here. Everything he’d sacrificed. He wasn’t about to lose it now because fear was making it hard for him to move.
If his son was brave enough to help save what he loved, then he, Flynn Findlay, wasn’t going to let him down.
He kissed Aaron again
