Things between Svana and me were strained since I’d found out the truth. Even though I’d mostly forgiven her, and I believed that she’d chosen to be my friend, it still hurt that she hadn’t told me. Our whole friendship was based on a lie, and even if the friendship itself was real, I couldn’t forget that.
My wound had healed by the next weekend, and I went to see the wolves. They were staying at the little shack in the woods, all of them piled into the tiny space, holding vigil for their injured Alpha. It was clear he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. I stayed with him for a weekend before returning to classes. Lindy and Vance were already back in school when I returned, and I thought of how many times the wolves had been absent in the past few years. Had they fought often, needing time to recover from their wounds?
Since I was not part of Vance’s pack, I chose to sit with the vampires at lunch. We drank sodas and pushed our food around our plates for the benefit of curious human eyes. Amy was lusting after some freshman warlock, and everyone was as welcoming as usual. But like Svana had, I knew they were only following Mr. Ravenwood’s orders. We still lived together, and watched TV together, and hung out with Amy. But something had shifted.
I didn’t go to Viktor’s room anymore, either. In truth, I’d probably mastered the art of biting someone weeks ago. I felt guilty and awkward around him now, as if he’d caught me doing something shameful, like looking at porn. The whole thing now seemed like another fevered, strange dream, like coming out of an addiction and wondering why you didn’t stop—why you couldn’t. I didn’t know if drinking vampire blood had the same effect on others, or if I was some kind of fetishist, like a human who got aroused by food. In truth, I didn’t really want to know. It was over, and I didn’t plan on ever doing it again, even if I got the chance.
I didn’t tell anyone I was leaving Ravenwood soon. I didn’t want it getting back to Mr. Ravenwood. He’d already gotten pretty pissed about Lindy turning out to be a wolf mate instead of his. Instead of hanging out with the vampires on weekends, I started going back to Gramma’s every weekend and spending the time with her. She hadn’t been able to see me over the summer, but my blood cravings were pretty much under control now, so I didn’t feel like I was putting her in danger by being alone with her for the weekend.
I had actual school work to do, too, since I hadn’t been at Ravenwood for years like a lot of the students. So I threw myself into studying and taking my finals for the first semester. I knew that would be a good stopping point, so I could start school somewhere else. By the time the semester ended, the wolves had all healed, including Alarick.
Then came my last visit with the Council before going home for winter break.
“How are the wolves?” Mr. Ravenwood asked.
“Fine,” I said.
“All recovered?”
“Yes.”
“That’s too bad,” he mused. “Though without Mr. Wolf, I’m sure they’ve devolved into chaos. Pack animals are so predictable.”
I wondered if he’d still be saying that when we didn’t return to the island after the break. But I wasn’t going to correct him. As far as he knew, I was just a spy who happened to have access to another group of supernaturals on campus. The half dozen wolves here were no threat to him. They wouldn’t stop his plan for world domination. But he liked to know what was going on with them, and he’d been practically giddy when he found out Mr. Wolf had died.
“I assume you’re going home for vacation,” he said, sliding a tiny glass vial across the table toward me. “If you bite any humans, open this and make sure they inhale some of the scent. It makes the memory fade. If you kill anyone, dispose of the bodies. And if you need help with anything, my number is on the side of the vial.”
“Oh,” I said, surprised he was actually making sure I had a safe trip back home, even if it was just to keep the vampire secret a bit longer. In truth, it wasn’t just his secret. I was a vampire, too. Our existence had to be kept secret for my sake, too.
“Have a good visit,” he said with a robotic smile, as if he’d forgotten how to feel genuine emotion.
“Thank you,” I said, turning and starting for the door. I turned back at the last minute. “And you, too. Have a good holiday. I hope you have someone to spend it with.”
I stopped by the giant refrigerator and stuffed my backpack with blood packets, each about as big as a Capri Sun and packaged in thick, clear plastic. Even though I was allowed to take as much as I wanted, and even expected to take extra since I’d be gone for nearly a month, I felt guilty as I zipped my bag, like I was stealing. I was accepting their generosity and then abandoning them. Still, I had to eat, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone.
When I returned to campus, I headed to Alarick’s room. The three Wolf brothers, Jose, and Brooklyn were all inside, preparing the light packs they’d carry on their back as wolves. We’d decided to travel on foot as wolves once we reached the mainland, since the Wolf brothers had become Canadian citizens when they moved here with their father, and none of them had passports, so we couldn’t fly. We could move quickly as wolves in rural areas, then shift to human and travel by bus in urban areas.
“Your pack should be light,”
