Gunner and I are leading the second group out to charge in the Lovelace strip bar and grab Star. We know and are aware that it’s not gonna be as simple as walking through the doors, grabbing her off the stage and carting her off into the night. We’re all going in locked and loaded. We have on our safety vests to protect our vital organs. Where we know a shot to the head can be just as lethal, it makes us all feel better to protect as much of our person as possible. We know the possibilities are high that we won’t all come out of this unscathed, but we’re determined to walk away from this with all of our men.
I’m not a passive-aggressive type of man, I want my enemy to see me coming at them with no fucks given on my part. I need to look a man square in the eyes when I drain life from him. I crave for him to know who it is that’s sending him into the afterlife.
If nothing else, I’m an honorable man in that aspect. I won’t stab a man in the back when he is turned the opposite way. No, I’m gonna let him see me coming and give him the chance to defend and protect himself… not that it’ll do him any good. I thrive on this shit.
We mount our bikes and head out into the dead of the night. At the halfway mark, Kruger and his troops split off from us and head toward Ella while the rest of us stay on the path of redemption.
My adrenaline begins pumping furiously through my veins the closer we get to our destination. The longing and desire to feel Star’s arms wrapped around me are the driving force behind my ire. Rage on her behalf, because no woman deserves to be obtained and kept against her free will.
This shitshow of a life she’s been forced into, ends tonight.
Star
I’ve managed to cause Jeremiah to laser on to me with punishments the last day or so. I’m not sure what I did to anger him so damn much other than do what he forces me to. When I made it back after visiting Ella and Jessia at the park, he was waiting for me in my cell… I knew immediately that I was in for it.
The flash of betrayal and venomous stare, were enough to send me spiraling into my pretend world. That’s the one place where my life is filled with sunshine and rainbows, my reality is filtered there. I can be anyone I desire to be. No one can take that away from me.
My mind draws a blank into everything that he did, but my body is feeling it deep into the depth of my bones. It hurts to move, to breathe, but there are no visible markings on my body. In my mind, I was back in the pink room with Shamus, reliving all of the delicious things he did to me.
I’m sure that’s what angered Jeremiah the most. He got no response out of me when he doled out his anger. Tonight, I’m being given a break from performing, since I can’t stand up right or barely walk; there’s no way I could dance. I’m sure that’s one more thing I’ll be paying for at a later date and time. If nothing else, Jeremiah is money hungry and I line his wallet each and every night. The money that I’m able to keep from my dancing is hidden in a drawer. I’m sure if they searched hard enough they’d find it, but something tells me they don’t give a fuck about my meager money.
It’s barely a penny dropped into the bucket compared to what they make. They give me the illusion that it belongs to me, but I’m acutely aware that they could force it from my grip at any moment. But it keeps my mind at ease that if I ever escape, I’d have a small nest egg to start off with.
It’s not enough to keep me in the lap of luxury, but it’d give me some financial ease to know that I have enough to get us into a place of our own. I pray for the day to come that I can be a mother to Ella the way it should have always been. Tucking her in at night, reading her bedtime stories, filling her belly full of food, bathing her… all of the things I’ve missed out on because of the evilness in the world.
Sander, or Sandy as I call him, is my personal detail for the night. He’s the only one on Jeremiah’s payroll that seems to have a heart and compassion. When I was moaning in pain, he brought me some pain reliever, a few ice packs and some warm tea to help with my aches and pains.
I always get special treatment with him and look forward to the days that he’s the one looking after me. He’s not like the others; he actually cares about us women and tries to make things as easy on us as he can get away with. I’ve had suspicions about him; I’ve concluded that he must be some sort of undercover agent, looking for enough evidence to bring Jeremiah and his group of thugs down.
The only thing that drowned that out was when I found out that he’s Gray’s cousin. There’s no way he’d infiltrate an organization and bring his family down. He may just be a good guy caught in a situation that he has no way of leaving. I worry that he’s just as much a victim in life as I am.
But I can’t afford to worry about every other person I come across, the only person I have time to consider and try to save
