‘I saw him,’ she whispers, her eyes never leaving mine.
My stomach does a slow roll and I have to swallow hard, as I sink back in to the hard, plastic chair. No soft leather chairs for the vegans. ‘Who?’ But I know who she’s going to say.
‘Harry,’ she says, still leaning in close to me, so close that I can feel her breath on my cheek. ‘I saw him.’
‘When? Where?’ A flutter of panic makes my words tumble out. I can’t believe he would have found me; I’ve been so careful. I think of the figure under the streetlamp outside Rupert’s. Could it have been him?
‘He was in The Savoy.’ Mags’s favourite pub. ‘It was not long after you started working for Rupert. I knew it was him from the pictures on your phone.’
‘Did you speak to him?’ I feel hot, uncomfortably so, and it’s as if all the air has been sucked out of the room.
‘No. But he sort of raised his pint to me, you know?’ Mags makes the motion with her hand. ‘So, I got the feeling he knew who I was, at least. I would have told you if you’d bothered to come home.’
The nausea is getting worse and I have to get outside, get some fresh air before I think I really will throw up. ‘Mags, I have to go. I’m sorry.’
‘What? Why? Because of him? This was supposed to our time. Please, Em, don’t go.’ Mags gets to her feet, but I am already moving towards the restaurant door. ‘At least let me give you your mail before you run off.’ She reaches into her bag and pulls out a small sheaf of envelopes, stuffing them into my bag. ‘I can look after you, Em, you know that. I’m your best friend. Aren’t you worried that if he knows who I am he might have followed me to the flat? He might have followed you from the flat to Rupert’s, did you think about that?’
I stare at her, not sure what to say. ‘Shit. Do you think…? Oh, God.’ The image of the figure stood under the streetlamp outside Rupert’s house looms large in my mind and I scrub my hands over my face. I need to get out, to suck down great lungfuls of fresh, cold air. ‘Sorry, Mags, I do have to go. Thank you for telling me about Harry – you did the right thing. Just… if you see him again, don’t talk to him, don’t engage with him at all. OK? Promise me.’ Impulsively I lean forward and kiss her on her cheek before I hurry away.
Later that afternoon, I sip at the champagne Sadie hands to me as we sit in Veronica’s Bridal Boutique – an upmarket bridal outfit that I would have no chance of patronising if it wasn’t for Sadie’s influence. She and Amanda have dragged me out to help me choose a dress, even though after my meeting with Mags I tried to cry off; dress shopping was the last thing I felt like doing. I could have told them I would be happy with something from the Next bridal range, but I would have been lying. In all honesty, up until I met Mags earlier, I was excited to be able to choose literally any dress I want – and relieved that Sadie and Amanda seem to have accepted me as Rupert’s partner.
‘What about this one?’ Amanda holds up a slinky Vera Wang and I groan as I run my hands over it, shaking off all thoughts of Mags.
‘It’s gorgeous – shall I try it on?’ I hand Sadie my glass and glide into the fitting room, slipping the silky fabric over my head. Moments later, I pull back the curtain and await their reaction. I feel like a princess, and the heaviness on my shoulders since meeting Mags earlier lifts slightly, just for a second. Until Amanda speaks.
‘It’s lovely, Emily, but it just makes you look a bit…’
‘Fat,’ Sadie says bluntly, and I look down at the teeniest, tiniest bulge of my belly. It’s almost that time of the month and I am bloated, despite not eating any lunch earlier.
‘Fat?’
‘Not fat, as such,’ Amanda tries to reassure me, but the damage is done. I can’t wait to get the dress off now.
‘Just a little bit… poochy,’ Sadie says, before turning to the rail beside her and pulling another dress off, one that is decidedly more shapeless than the one I’m wearing. ‘Oh, don’t look like that, Em, girlfriends are supposed to tell you how it is. Try this one on.’
I try on dress after dress, none of them quite right, and eventually we call it a day. Amanda stands talking to Veronica, as Sadie hands me my bag.
‘Are you OK?’ she asks. ‘I’m sorry we couldn’t find you anything today. It’s not just that, though, is it? You seem a bit quiet.’
‘It’s nothing,’ I say, shaking my head, ‘nothing important anyway.’
‘Listen,’ Sadie says, with a glance to where Amanda is air-kissing Veronica, ‘how about you and I go dress shopping next week, just you and me? I know a lovely little place in Chelsea – I know it’s a bit of a trek into London, but it’s pretty exclusive.’
‘Really?’ Something warm glows in my stomach at Sadie’s invitation – finally, I’m starting to feel properly accepted. ‘What about Amanda?’
‘Oh, she’ll be too busy. She’s got her interior design stuff to do. It’ll be fun just us… although we can wait till she’s free, if you’d rather?’
‘No, that’s fine,’ I say quickly. There is so much to do that time will fly before the wedding, and I feel as though I can relax a little if I have my dress.
‘Excellent.’ Sadie smiles, all perfect white teeth on show, and I make a mental note to see about having my own teeth whitened before the wedding. ‘I must dash – I’ll call you.’ She waves to Amanda, leaving
