‘She didn’t mind,’ Rupert says, ‘most of the time anyway. I got more annoyed about it than her, I think. She took it as a form of flattery most of the time.’
I don’t know whether to feel offended or relieved that Sadie clearly doesn’t think my style is worth copying. ‘Most of the time?’
‘Yeah, there were some times when it did really get to Caro. I mean, Sadie can be a bit overbearing, you know that. Sometimes Caro didn’t want her to copy her. I remember Caro being pissed off about a pair of earrings – she was wearing them for the party…’ he breaks off for a moment, brushing at sugar that has spilled across the table, ‘she was wearing a pair of diamond earrings that I’d bought her for our wedding day and Sadie had wanted to borrow them. Most of the time Caro was quite relaxed about lending her things to Sadie, even though half the time she wouldn’t get them back, but this time she said no, and Sadie got the hump about it.’ Rupert shrugs, and finally meets my eyes again. ‘Can you ever forgive me for not believing you? Can we get back to how things were?’
I stare at him, his deep, navy blue eyes, the way his hair falls over his forehead, the light stubble that grazes his cheeks, even though he shaved this morning. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be his housekeeper, to come in, do what I needed to do, and go. There was never meant to be any emotional attachment. I was never meant to fall in love with him.
‘Em?’
I smile, realizing he’s still waiting for a reply. ‘Yes,’ I say, even though as I say it there is something nagging at the very recesses of my mind, that unnerving feeling that I had before that something is not quite right. ‘Of course we can. But I think it’s best if we don’t see Sadie for a little while. I just feel as though everything will be too awkward.’
‘Obviously.’ Rupert gives me a relieved smile. ‘I’ll do whatever you want to do. I’m just glad you’re OK. We’re OK.’ Checking his watch, he pulls a regretful face and slides out from where he’s sitting. ‘I’m sorry, Em, I have to go. I can’t miss this meeting. Are you sure you’ll be all right?’
I nod and let him kiss me, watching him walk the few feet back to the office before I turn and walk in the opposite direction, back towards the house, finally feeling for the first time in a long while as though I don’t need to dread going home.
It’s only much, much later, after Rupert has arrived home early with a bouquet of flowers, and we’ve been out to our favourite Italian for dinner and then made love, quietly and urgently as if that will patch up the last of the holes between us, that it comes to me and I realize exactly what it is that didn’t feel quite right, and my heart goes cold.
Chapter Thirty-One
Feigning sleep as I hear Rupert get up and get ready for work, I wait until I hear the front door slam closed before I open my eyes. I haven’t slept a wink, not since I realized what it was that didn’t fit, the thing that was making me feel off kilter. I lay there, rigid, all night, afraid to move a muscle in case I woke Rupert up and he asked me what the matter was, as I tried to fit all the pieces together and come up with something that added up.
Feeling stiff and sore, and almost foggy with tiredness, I slip out of bed and pull on some sweatpants and a jumper – cashmere, both of them, and both bought by Rupert – and tying my hair up into an untidy bun, I sit down at the dressing table and reach behind the mirror for Caro’s jewellery box. Remembering how everything had skittered out across the floor and table the last time I opened it, this time I gently lift the lid with care. The light catches the gold and silver trinkets as the sun streams in through the open blinds and I feel a sharp pang of envy that Caro had all of this, before I mentally slap myself – Caro might have had all of this but it doesn’t mean she was happy.
Carefully I sift through the jewellery, pulling out gold chains and larger earrings, laying them gently on the dressing table as I search for the tiny item I’m looking for. Finally, I find it, tucked into the corner of the velvet lining, and I pull it out and hold it up to the light. A single, solitary diamond earring, .31 carat, by the looks of things and remarkably similar to ones that I have eyed on the Tiffany website many times before. Large enough to be expensive. Large enough that you wouldn’t be so careless as to just lose one.
I slide to the floor and sweep my arm under the dressing table – that’s where I dropped it before, so it stands to reason that the other would be somewhere near by – but there’s nothing under there but dust. I check all around, sweeping my arm under the wardrobe, and under the bed but there is no sign of a matching earring.
I hear Rupert’s words as he sits across the table from me yesterday – ‘She was wearing a pair of diamond earrings that I bought her for our wedding day’ – and Sadie telling me that on the night she disappeared, Caro was wearing a ruffled red gown and diamond earrings. My stomach rolls as I finally start to accept the implications of what finding this earring might mean.
Maybe she had other pairs?
