I get up and start to pace the floor, trying my hardest to find a solution that doesn’t lead to the worst possible scenario. It’s been confirmed that both Amanda and Sadie saw her wearing them as she was arguing with Rupert, only Rupert says that once Caro stormed out of the house, she never returned. The only possible way the earring – which I now think must have been under the dressing table the entire time, until I found it when I dropped the contents of the jewellery box – could have got back into the house is if Caro returned after everyone had left the party. Which means Rupert has lied about the fact that she never returned. And why would he lie about that, and all the other things he’s hidden from me unless he has something to hide?
I scrub my hands over my face, before throwing open the doors to the orangery, trying to imagine the scene as Rupert and Caro hissed at each other, and the guests tried to look as though nothing was happening. I feel sick, shaky with the knowledge that if Rupert has lied about the fact that Caro returned to the house after everyone had left, then he potentially could have had something to do with Caro’s disappearance. Why else would he say that she never came back?
I step towards the window, to the light that streams into the room, and try to imagine the room that night, lit by fairy lights, music playing softly in the background – something jazz-like, I think Caro would have chosen. I look onto the garden, to the borders and shrubs, before my gaze snags on the lush patches of grass to the left of the orangery. Pushing open the doors I step into the fresh spring sunshine, and press my toe into the thick grass, wondering if I am imagining the slight dip there in the earth.
I look back to the extension, newly finished when Caro disappeared. Ridiculous, I think, you’re being ridiculous. But something in my gut tells me that I’m not. The site you’ve marked out is where the first soakaway is. The second soakaway is next to it, which means you don’t really have the space to fit a pool in there. The words of the builder ring in my ears, as I realize that this is another thing that doesn’t add up. The house isn’t on a flood plain that I know of, so why would it need a second soakaway? Surely one is enough? Why go to the expense of adding an extra one?
I need to speak to the builder – it could be nothing, in which case maybe I’ll ask Rupert about that night one more time. I’ll show him the earring and see if he has a valid explanation for why it is in the house after Caro supposedly disappeared wearing it. And the money, I think with a shiver, as if someone has walked over my grave, Rupert was adamant that he didn’t want to use Caro’s money on a pool… but he’s been making transfers into his own bank account regularly from her funds.
Suddenly chilly, I hurry back into the house, closing the blinds in the orangery and slamming the door closed. As I head back upstairs to put Caro’s jewellery away, I think of Rupert and my heart turns over. Things had got bad between me and Harry, violent and out of control, but this time – I pause as I reach the bedroom, our wedding photo on display on the nightstand – this time, I think I have bitten off more than I can chew.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Jittery with nerves, it’s hard to act normally when Rupert comes home from work, knowing what I think I know. I have to keep reminding myself that I don’t actually know anything as yet – all I have is an idea, a suspicion, but still the temptation to call the whole thing a day and shove my things in a bag and run back to the flat, to Mags, is strong. Not that Mags would probably let me in, not after the way I’ve treated her. Instead I paste on a smile, and let Rupert pull me down onto the sofa, laying my head in his lap after dinner.
He runs his fingers through my hair, making my scalp tingle, and if I close my eyes, I can almost pretend that nothing has changed, that Rupert hasn’t lied and everything is perfect, just as it was.
‘Rupert, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?’ I ask, from my position lying prone on the sofa, as his fingers massage my scalp. I open my eyes a fraction, enough to see his reaction. His fingers pause for a tiny second, before he rakes them through my hair.
‘Gosh, I don’t know. Nothing excitingly bad.’ He lets out a laugh, but I can feel the way his chest strains as he forces it out. ‘There was that time I paid a guy ten quid to give Miles a wedgie, and then obviously Will’s stag do, when we tied him to a lamppost, naked, which is something he’s never forgiven me for… that’s as dark as I get, I’m afraid. What’s brought this on, anyway?’ He shifts so that I have no option other than to sit up.
‘I was just thinking about Sadie,’ I say, tucking my legs up underneath me. I let my fingers mingle with his. ‘How we both thought she couldn’t possibly behave that way. It must have been more shocking for you than it was for me. After all, you’ve known her for years.’
‘Yes,’ Rupert says quietly, ‘I suppose it was shocking. Although not entirely surprising. People only show you the façade that they want you to see. Everyone does it. We all show our best faces to the others around us.’
Goosebumps rise on my arms and I rub at my skin through the thin
