Onna was dead.
Real death.
How? How? [Duality] had never failed. It had never failed. Not once had anyone been able to tell I was using two timelines, not Zlosta or Hoplite or Erzili. No one had ever been able to know I was splitting timelines.
“My Epithet Skill, humorless one is [Comicality].” Giggles said. “For all things, truly, are comical. Life. Death. Existence. Power. To understand the humor within them is to no longer be bound by them. To accept or reject them as this one so pleases.”
What….?
‘What sort of bullshit power is that?’ Sunny roared.
Without understanding it, I found myself giggling. Then, pushing through the pain, through the deliriousness and dizziness, I found myself laughing. Laughing, at the absurdity of such a skill. Laughing, at the hypocrisy of finding such a skill absurd, when mine was just as absurd in different ways.
“Ah, humorless one. It seems you have finally understood the joke.”
“I…” my voice croaked. “…messed up… didn’t I?”
“Do you fear death, humorless one?”
“…no… not… not anymore.”
“Then be at peace, humorless one.”
“Wait…” I said. “…Onna. Her. Give… give her… back.”
“The maiden?”
“She… she doesn’t deserve to die… because I… I… underestimated… y-you…”
“…indeed, humorless one. Alas, I have no reason to accept your request.”
“P-please…” I croaked. “Just…”
“Humorless one, you would use your final breath to plead for the life of another?”
Onna said she was cursed. Cursed to wander Alamir forever, in search of a purpose she shall never find, and meet a pathetic end. What could be a more pathetic end, than dying pointlessly in an attempt to make herself stronger for the one person in the world she was devoted to?
“I… just… feel… she doesn’t deserve… to die… like that.”
The world around me faded, and I could only hope, at least, that Giggles would grant that request.
“…nightmares must do as nightmares must. Yet, here be a nightmare who refuses. Ah… humorless – no, Janus. Thank you – for giving this old one a joke that has never before been told. This one shall remember it for years to come.”
“So… you.… you’ll bring her… back…?”
Giggles smiled at me.
“No.”
Your HP has reached 0.
[You have Died]
Chapter 18: Better Half
All of my problems were as a result of the universe refusing to let me die.
[The title {Phoenix} has come into effect.]
[You have attained [Causality Manipulation Immunity] from being killed by an Epithet Skill controlling cause and effect.]
There was something different, about my resurrection this time. I had not resurrected within Giggles’ Domain. I had not resurrected in a forest, or at the bottom of a crater. This was my third time truly coming back to life, and there was something different, in that I could feel my back on something smooth. Smooth, hard and not natural.
[Hidden Command Prompt Found]
[Command Prompt: RETURN]
[Check] [If (True Death), Set Respawn Point = Near Name-Giver]
[Recognizing Command Prompt…]
[Analyzing…]
[Checking Authorization Level…]
[Authorization Found.]
[Demiurge: Janus]
[Tier 10: Nightwitch: Zlosta Janje]
[Command Authorized.]
The first thing that told me something was wrong, was the sirens. Loud, blaring sirens that jerked my body upright, causing me to slam my head into something solid. More than just solid. My hand felt for it, with [Earth Control] and my heart within my chest started to beat a thousand times faster.
Concrete. It’s… concrete?
Solid concrete.
I was in a small, concrete grave. An empty concrete grave, I realized. Yet, the sirens were still loud enough for me to hear them?
Where am I?
‘Janus.’ Sunny’s voice came. ‘That RETURN command that Erzili had us write… I think I know what it did.’
You do?
‘It’s a guess, a wild guess, but first, let’s get out of this grave.’
[Phantasm] sprung to life, turning my body intangible as I phased through the concrete. With a little bit of some work, I turned myself invisible as an extra precaution. No sooner had I phased myself through the concrete, did I collapse, clutching heavily at my stomach.
Fuck.
You are afflicted by the negative status [Blood Parched]
–50% MP Regen Rate for as long as you remain [Blood Parched].
You are afflicted by the negative status [Flesh Famished]
You have [5] More Days Left Before You Die of Starvation.
A full day has passed…
[Daily Task]
You were unable to complete your Daily Task.
Penalties Incurred.
Penalty:
–100% Experience Gain for 24 Hours.
Forfeited Four of Your Weapons/Armor:
Tungsten-Copper Gauntlets
Tungsten-Copper Brogues
Stainless Diamond Armor
Mask of Janus
Four of your Highest Leveled Skills are Reset to Lv. 1:
[Earth Control] Lv. 1
[Excruciating Toxic Bite] Lv. 1
[Pain Resistance] Lv. 1
[Golem Creation] Lv. 1
Your next [Daily Task] is in: 23h59m49s
Fuck.
‘Talk about adding insult to injury –’
Naked. I was naked, I realized immediately. On instinct I attempted to create a mirror with [Earth Control], but found myself instead holding a lump of smooth sand. I wasn’t even at a level high enough on the skill to be able to bypass the mineral refinement process.
“FUCK!”
‘Fuck is right. Damn it our skills are weak as hell now.’
“And whose fault do you think this is?” I snarled. “You had to go and fight Giggles! If you hadn’t –”
‘We’re the same Janus. How the hell were we supposed to know that Epithet Skills could clash with one another like some sort of ridiculous moves in a trading card game?’
I grit my teeth even harder. “…we didn’t know. Erzili never mentioned it. If she’d mentioned it –”
‘You’re going to blame Erzili now?’ Sunny said. ‘So first, blame me, then Erzili, and who next? Going to blame Onna as well?’
I felt the wind leave my gut. “She’s dead. All because –”
‘Look, Janus, this isn’t the time. Right now, if we are where we think we are, this isn’t the time for any of this.’
I was naked. I was
